I'm one of those crossdressers who sometimes faces the mirror as I'm doing my makeup or getting dressed and says to the reflection, "What are you doing? Why do you do this?" Then I shrug my shoulders, continue getting ready and occasionally go out. In the back of my brain the conversation continues; "Where are you going with this? Where are you on the ole TG spectrum?" etc. etc. Then it hit me. I NEVER have that conversation with my image when I'm dressing in guy mode. I don't question where how masculine I am or why I feel the need to wear jeans and a tee shirt instead of shorts and a Aloha shirt.
The way I interpret that is I'm a crossdresser. I'm transgender, but not transexual. I'm an active one, willing to go out in public and involve myself with others and with a lot of interest in exploring the feminine aspects of my personality, but getting there permanently isn't on the agenda. My needs for integration and authenticity are being met at this level for now and I'm probably going to stay here, probably.
But it was the process of asking the same question from my guy side that brought a little bit of resolution to a problem that has been confounding me for quite some time. It seems simple now, but I've had blinders on as I've looked at it only from the femme side of the equation.
What techniques or questions have you found that help you find resolutions to your identity?