My wife and I want to go out shopping and dinner sometime with me dressed. We're both very touchy feely all the time. But while dressed how should we be in public? Will she play that she's a lesbian? Will we just not be touchy feely? The easiest would be the be the way we normally are and I just happened to be dressed as a woman. But just cause it's the easiest doesn't mean it's really the easiest. Any advice?
Gwendolyn
Well I know for us my wife doesn't want to be seen as a lesbian so she won't hold my hand in public. However, we usually will sit together (like at a bar) and often get very close. But not a lot of touching or kissing. I think it is kind of cute and have fun with it, but I also respect her boundaries. Just having her with me is such a wonderful gift I am fine with her request. I am guessing this varies a lot depending on the couple and you might not really know until you are out and can assess your comfort level together. Good luck and have fun!
1) tell her not to worry about you. She should not be looking out for pitfalls. She should enjoy herself. You are a big boy.
2) don't be touchy-feely. Women go out together and they rarely touch short of hello and goodbye. And that might be a handshake or brief hug
When we go out we hold hands and have been know to kiss, just be yourselves and enjoy.
Sandra
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Without wishing to sound unhelpful, you're asking the wrong people. You should be talking about this with your wife and asking her how she would like to proceed. Don't be at all surprised if for the first time at least, she just wants to be with you as a friend with no outward signs of affection. Unless she happens to be bisexual then it may feel very uncomfortable for to be perceived to be in a same sex relationship. Of course everyone is different and it may not be an issue for her but the only person who will know that is her. Remember that if it is her first trip out with you, things may well be tense for her anyway, so just do whatever you can to make her feel at ease, if that means backing off from your usual touchy feely impulse then so be it. The easier it is for her this time, the more likely she will be happy to do it again. Good luck and I hope you both have a lovely time
I dunno, how will you act in public? I am now a PDA person no matter what but when my GF and I went out, we acted like always did
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“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
It's your first time out, so stay flexible. You might find that with reality coming at you from all sides one or the other of you might not want to be as touchy-feelies as usual. I think you really have to go out a few times to rub the novelty off it and find out how you really react. The first time my girlfriend and I went out I was so "in my head" trying to remember all the things to do or not do that I couldn't even tell you about people we walked past or sounds or smells. (Except for one charming Portuguese gentleman who looked at me, smiled and said, "Nice dress."
By unspoken agreement when my girlfriend and I go out, I don't open doors for her. From my side at least it's because I don't know how to do that without looking like a guy. (I mean in terms of posture and gesture.) Other than that, we still hold hands and walk close together.
Have fun. Be more relaxed than I was.
Relax, be yourselves and don't pretend to be anything. I'd think you old behave in a manner that you would expect from others.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I am kind of working on that with my wife. My wife has only seen me dressed up in person twice, including just last night.
I have wanted to go to some adult stores like “Castle Megastore” and “Hustler Hollywood” while dressed up, mainly to try on and walk in all their high heels and boots, mostly fetish style. Though she sees me as very passable she is not ready to go out in public with me dressed up, and I understand that completely. I get a great fill of dressing up for band practice for hours on into the night, having fun playing music and drinking a little with pizza.
But as far as your particular concern with PDA (public display of affection) I am not sure. I wanted to share my current situation but apologize for not having any advice.
Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."
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(cartoon series)
Shoe size: 9 US women's.
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Women hug; and walk and link arms or hold hands all the time. People just see them as close friends, not as lesbians, unless there is kissing involved.
DonnaT
I agree with Jamie M. Ask your wife.
Flirt yes...touchy feely...I'd keep that for at home.
If she is comfy with you dressed and not afraid to be seen then go where ever. If she's a little worried about being identified then do as I was told originally. Always go someplace at least 25 miles from home. That will minimize the chances of being seen by someone you know.
I know a few lesbian couples and they are not touchy feely in public at all. If that's your thing and your wife is comfortable being seen as a lesbian then do what your heart tells you.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Well, I guess it depends on the message you and your wife want to convey. Just friends or lesbian couple. It will also depend on how comfortable the two of you are out in public. Honestly, just go be yourselves and don't worry about it. Have fun and enjoy the time you get to spend with each other.
Last edited by Jorja; 04-03-2015 at 06:45 PM.
I get what you're saying. My wife and I go out as "girlfriends" quite a lot and sometimes we do kinda "forget" and act a little more affectionate than perhaps two GG friends would do. That said, we do try to keep from too much in the way of PDA in mainstream places. It kinda makes you think about how unfair it is be to be in a same sex relationship, i.e. kissing on the lips your hetro partner in the grocery store is ok but apparently not ok for other types of relationship. Whats up with that? Love should be a beautiful thing for everyone.
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Just relax be youself and feel it out .It is your first time what ever make you comfotable do it
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There is another option -- woman out with a transgender male. Just saying -- people are starting to become aware that we're out there.Originally Posted by Jorja
Firstly to the OP, try asking YOUR WIFE how she wants to interact. If she wants to basically be GF's then go with it, if another option go with that. My wife originally did NOT like physical contact between us when we were out dressed. That was just her. Now she is less concerned about it.
A valid point Jennie. We moan and groan about being authentic then try and put on some sort of socially acceptable show (at least more socially acceptable than a woman and trans mtf going out together) for people we don't know or frankly are unlikely to meet again. It does make you wonder.
Just appear as two lady friends shopping.
No reason to put on an act like being lesbians etc.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Wouldn't that fall under just friends? Just saying.
Last edited by Jorja; 04-04-2015 at 12:33 PM.
Jorja, I read Jenni's post as implying "woman out with transgender male partner"
Lesbians don't all make a scene in public. Many, perhaps most, act like heterosexual people, and keep their hugging, kissing, etc. out of the public eye. I suggest you ask your wife of course, but going out as sisters or food friends would seem the best to me.
Now keep in mind that if someone recognizes your wife, she may have to introduce you so this is something you should both work out in advance. "Lesbian lover" could be a problem if the other person knows that your wife is married.
I'd say the best advice is just being aware of what your surroundings are. The same behavior may go unnoticed in one environment and throw off all sorts of red flags in another. Better to be safe than sorry.
DeeAnn
Gwinnie, from a touchy feely relationship, we have the same issues. In fact, I do open her door and let her in first for example. We may even hold hands in the parking lot. I found that walking in the six inch heels took a lot of focus and she helped me by observing how to go off of a side walk curb or on it. Yet, when we go into a place we seem to not touch each other and act as girlfriends and a minor touch goes unnoticed. First few times I was nervous and like in a movie theater, I had to fumble through my purse and get the hand clutch out to pay for the tickets. LOL anyways you two can indeed pay attention to each other and treat each other as really good friends. It goes a long way there. And yes we kiss when we get back in the truck. In our case she goes as my girl friend.
Part Time Girl
Forget the lesbo bit. Just be 2 girlfriends.
Let your wife to the ordering in restaurants.
Woks fine for my wife and me.
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