Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 26 to 32 of 32

Thread: Had an interesting discussion with my SO.

  1. #26
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,377
    Quote Originally Posted by Lee Andrews View Post
    I would love to get this out in the open but I am also realistic knowing my family and friends would have a hard time picturing this 6'3" burly construction worker in heels, hose and a skirt. I would imagine some would disown me.
    The more I think about it this morning, the more I see the "prison" comment reflected in our lives. We have a secret because of circumstances, that must be locked up, guarded and never let it see the light of day. I don't like it but I understand it.
    I was just about to click Submit with a response to your first post, when I saw this. I agree, the 'prison' is being bound by secrecy and fearing the aftermath of having people find out. It's hard to strike a balance under these circumstances. A lot of forum members say they are out and everything is fine, but I wonder if the bulk of their accepting friends are part of our community. Or, if their family/other friends/coworkers/etc know, do they participate ... do they go out with members while they are dressed. Do they include them (while dressed) in their family get-togethers, block parties, office get-togethers, etc.

    I think that people in general can give the impression they are accepting by simply not being rude, but to me the proof of the pudding lies in how much they actually include a dressed CDer in their lives together with an absence of gossip and judgment when the CDer is not around.
    Reine

  2. #27
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,702
    Reine

    There is a difference between tolerance and acceptance. I've noticed that the definition seems to shift between participants here. My wife is mostly DADT, but is willing to be non antagonistic when she sees something. I still only call that tolerant. But she can surprise me from time to time. Need to remember though just because she is more tolerant today does not guarantee the same tomorrow.

    This is pretty normal. Anyone with a special needs child (or teenager) should recognize this. (I am NOT equating spouses and special needs!!!! Just natural variances in emotional responses by pointing out a clear illustration.)

  3. #28
    Hose & Heel Loving Divia. Lee Andrews's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    319
    Quote Originally Posted by Dana44 View Post
    There are a lot of comments and support here. I wanted to add, communication is the most important to work this out. She may feel isolated. Perhaps point her to this site where she can talk to other SO's. I think all SO hate it when they find out, yet you are the same person no matter how you are dressed. Communication is the most important. I had to talk to my SO for a good time before she became more comfortable. Now she is supportive and we need that in our relationship. Now we plan a night out every couple weeks.
    Funny part about us is we can talk about anything but crossdressing. CD discussions are very brief and I tried to get her to join here but she had a bad experience in the past with a local couple. She doesn't want to repeat the experience. It is "my thing, not hers".

  4. #29
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Location
    The lingerie dept.
    Posts
    1,848
    Charming. I suggest you spend the rest of the refund on bras and make up immediately.
    I used to have a short attention spa

  5. #30
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,702
    Lee

    The more you post, the more I think the "prison" statement and anger over the spending is partly frustration with CD, but more the other stresses going on in her life. My wife lost both her dad and grandmother last year on top off an extremely difficult work year with LOTS of OT. After some of the losses, it opened up an opportunity to talk more. Put things in perspective about how to spend your life with the limited time we have.

    Right now your wife is in the stress phase, not the retrospect phase. Be strong for her. Love her in her language, with no expectations.

    Oh BTW when I make a purchase over $50 on something girly or if it's something she will see, I let her know. If it's more than $100 I ask. I see it as avoiding the surprise later. So I guess DADT should be don't ask don't tell too much DADTTM? EIEIO?

    You'll be fine. And tell her that the girls here send their love.

  6. #31
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Location
    n.texas
    Posts
    401
    im not surprised,most marriages are based off false premisis which leads to a prison complex for both parties. like i told my wife the second time i came out that she could leave and i would give her a uncontestened divorce for i was done hiding,she stayed and that was 16 yrs ago,we still have our problems but we communicate. in a marriage its not only about making your wife happy,but you have to be happy also. if a marriage is only about the wife and her wants over yours it will lead to resentment and more strain on the marriage. if i was you i would put all the cards on the table and let her make up her mind to leave or stay,if she stays it has to be on common ground with boundries. no one wants to be alone,but i would take being alone over a one sided marriage...
    p.s. i dont need bricks,im scary enough like it is..lol

  7. #32
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    7,444
    Lee just keep communicating but do so gentle . Sounds like she might be just a little bit unsure of all this cd thing. Slow I've found is the name of the cd thing. We sometimes rush into getting every thing we need to make us feel better. I can also her side and yours. When the budget is thrown together it's easy to pick apart what the other one spends theirs on. Wife and I have an account that is separate from each other's that we call our crazy money. She gets her nails done and toes painted, her hair done and even buys more clothes out of her crazy money. All the household things bills n expenses come from the one we share together. Kids are all gone so the household account is not as much as it used to be. We do our taxes together and we usually end up paying. ( I need a good CD accountant that can figure out how I could deduct my feminine hobby off as write off) if and when Wes get money back ho ugh it is usually halved and spent as we ech see fit to.
    I see your problem and think maybe after you explained about her mom and dad that those very worrying troubles could be her problem at the present. She may be very stressed about them and this could be the way she is taking out the stress by going after what she hasn't really accepted yet. Hope every thing works out for you.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State