When I was younger I diddnt think about it too much....I just did it...then put the clothes away....i started as one of those sexual dressers, it made me happy, then i would hide my clothes and move on...i never dwelled too hard on it then it was fun ....
Hi,
There are a few things that comes to my mind. A bit of a harmless confessions, I guess. :-)
1) Although not dressing up really at that age, I did try on a female teachers long leather coat with fur trim when I was on 7 or 8, a coat that was hanging outside the classroom. I also swapped jacket with a girl in my class, I wore hers, and she wore mine for a day or two. Apart from that, I don't think I ever dressed up until my mid-teens.
2) Albeit not dressing up on a regular basis, I quite often fantasized about dressing in female clothing, in particular adult women's. Was not really interested in girl clothing of my own age. In particular the female teachers of my school, and the female adult neighbors, my friends mum's and alike, were subjects to my little fantasy. :-) Often my fantasies did not just involve myself, but I often imagined that some of friends were affected or involved. It just seemed more fun.
I vividly remember one fantasy once. I must have been 11 or 12, and the whole class was waiting for the bus heading out on an excursion. Our teacher was kind of old-fashioned, dressed quite conservatively. This time she wore white coat with black dots (some kind of short-haired fur), a matching hat in the same material, a big purse, skirt, high heeled boots etc. The bad guy in the class, and he was bad, was messing around. As we stood at the bus station, waiting, I got this fantasy that he suddenly swapped into the teachers clothes, and the teacher swapped into his "cool" leather jacket, trousers, sneakers etc. The whole thought, and the view, of that this guy would wear her coat, hat, purse etc, and the teacher would wear his clothes, gave me a combination of enticement, shock and amusement. The whole situation would be so utterly absurd, I thought, and that just amused me a lot. Also often fantasized how they would also take on each others roles. That thought and sight also amused me a lot. Also did that here, he running around "coordinating" things, keeping order of the pupils, at the bus station as teachers do, and she messing around, making pranks on my friends. But mostly, it was of course myself that was involved in those fantasies. :-)
3) However, I did not think much of the strangeness of dressing in women clothing, or my fantasies. I just enjoyed them. I did of course know that this was not anything to talk open about, and that others would not understand. However, that was not a big issue for me, as I did not see me as transgendered at that time, and I did not know about such terms as transgendered, transvestite or alike.
Last edited by Bima; 04-08-2015 at 03:22 AM. Reason: Correcting minor editorial errors
I wore moms undies when I was 5, that was around 1962-3 . no internet, lived in the country, christian conservitive country upbringing-in which Im proud of- was not in any way attracted to boys, probably didnt know what gay was at that time, was tough, great little leaguer but wore panties!.. I knew something was differant but what? I hid in the closet for a long long time. I just knew I was the only boy in the world who wore his moms draws!!
Then come widows 95 and I learned I was not alone. If I had it to do over again, or if I could change anything nope not a thing
I remember just enjoying the silkiness of the fabrics and the feel of them against my skin at a young age. I loved the look and feel of the straps and lace. I hid it from the world because I thought I was strange. I thought I was being bad and I was sure that it was sinful. I did not understand it as an 8 or 9 year old. I grew up in a home with 2 sisters and a mom. I remember borrowing clothes from them on occasion. They dressed me up as a girl for Halloween over a few years. I had the best time! I suspect that one or more of them may have known about my desire to cross dress, but has never said anything. Those Halloween's dressed up are one of my strongest memories from my pre teen years.
I had a hard time with my family also. I was caught partially dressed (bra and panties, in the house) when I was 10 or so and my parents were very understanding. Fast forward to 15 and I got caught completely en femme. My parents view was that they "Had a fag for a son" and were convinced I was gay. They became very watchful any time I was around other boys as they thought I might get involved with them somehow. It impacted our relationship forever. When I started having GF's they were more relieved, but I'd internalized the idea that if I wanted to dress as a girl I must be gay. It took a few more years rebounding from some bad choices and some ruined relationships to work through that.Originally Posted by Erika Lyne
Being able to connect with others who had the same feelings was a lifesaver. Thank goodness for the internet and some of the GBLT websites of that time or I might have gone crazy. Eventually I got some counselling and went to some support groups and became a lot more comfortable with dealing with the real me - that's a full-time job!
I hear you, I always felt I had a "terrible secret" that I couldn't confide to anyone.
Last edited by Lexi_83; 04-16-2015 at 07:15 AM.
My earliest recollections are of, as a toddler, clomping around in my mom's and grandma's heels. Later, I was drawn to pantyhose. Sometime during grade school, I got my younger sister to help me dress up - skirt, blouse, pantyhose, heels - from the hamper and Mom's closet. I remember that day, the doorbell rang after I was all dressed up. My sister went to answer it. I got back into my own clothes and went down to discover two of my neighborhood friends at the door, to whom my sister had just recounted our dress-up activities. I managed to weather that storm - to my knowledge, word didn't spread among our peers (must have been during the summer, so no classroom gossip) and apparently all was forgotten. Anyway, by this time I knew this had to be "wrong" somehow, so future experiments with Mom's clothing were done in secret. I never fully dressed (clothes from the skin-out, makeup, wig and heels) until about five years ago, in my late 30s ...
I knew I wasn't the only one, but other than that, only gave thought to how good it felt, and how scary it was as well if caught.
DonnaT
I knew of only one crossdresser in my (60s) youth. It was a man who lived in town who would occasionally shop in the thrift store. My mother volunteered there and they would set aside large sizes for him. He was considered to be quite bizarre, but nobody dared say anything because he was the only truck/tractor Diesel mechanic in town and if he left the next one was 100 miles away.
As far as my own dressing up, I would occasionally wear an item of my mother's and promptly feel guilty about it as I knew that doing that was Very Wrong. Nobody ever caught me because I was very careful with what I did. I sometimes wonder if it would have been better to be caught and at least have to acknowledge my "interest."
I didn't think of my experimentation as crossdressing because I never dressed fully.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
my first encounter with cd was at my cousins house , I spent many nites there and one nite he comes out of the bathroom with nylons panties and a bra on and I was like whats going on here? really cant remember if that's what started me to cd but I have been since I was very young, 9 or 10.
Last edited by Mimi; 04-09-2015 at 12:02 AM. Reason: Too much information
I became interested in crossdressing,when I watched my mother&sisters dress in beautiful clothing,like dresses,short mini skirts,silk blouses,silky pantyhose,&I decided I wanted to secretly try on mothers clothes,since they were the most expensive,so I secretly began trying on her dresses,skirts,blouses,shoes,all of her
business suits,etc.Several times I snuck a fresh,unopened pkg of her pantyhose out of her drawer,and put them on,with her good skirtsuits&practiced walking around the house,in heels,with the drapes all closed&doors locked.I stayed dressed for several hours some days&sat at her makeup table&tried on her wigs,too
"Love&Kisses"
Michelle
When I was about 5, I thought that I should have been born a girl. That began a life of questions that have never been really answered.
When i was younger i didn't think about crossdressing. It was the early 60s and in my home town it wasn't a known option.
I don't even remember how it occurred to me that when my parents were out for the evening i could put on mum's clothes, and when my sis when to uni, hers.
A few years later i knew a llittle more.
I was excited and thrilled whenever I had a few minutes to wear some of my mother's or sister's lingerie and achieve the inevitable outcome. I felt like it was so taboo but it was addicting as well. I wanted so much to fully dress like a girl but never really could. At the time, I felt as if I was one in a million. Every now and then I would see an article by Ann Landers saying that , yes, it is strange, but basically harmless and I would see ads in the back pages of Penthouse for a place called Michael Salem's TV Boutique. So I knew there were a few others on the planet like me but they must be a rare bunch and that we best stay well hidden.
I remember exactly how I started wearing female clothing. My Aunt who was about six years older than me, was doing a fashion course for one of her O level exams. She making this seventies style trouser suit and needed to a model to put it to alter it etc. I was ten at the time and about the same height and build as her. She used to look after me and my younger sister whilst my parents worked or went out. One evening she asked me to put her trouser suit so she could check it out and mark alteration. It took sometime for my Aunt to convince to do it. When I put it on it felt so good, the feel of the material against my skin, and how it fitted me felt great. From the point I would experiment with my mum and sisters clothing. I even would sneak upstairs when around my Grandma's house, into my Aunt's bedroom and sneak clothes into the bathroom to try on. It was never because I thought I was really woman. It was and always has been because it felt good to wear something do soft, silky, delicate against my skin. It was relaxing. Certainly helped me through my teen years by relieving the stress of growing. To this day I will come home from a hard day at work and put on something feminine to help relax the stress of the day away.
Wearing female clothes at home both relaxes me and makes me feel good - realising my feminine side makes me a better man
I think I was about 10 when my mom as a goof put one of my sister's dresses on me. I remember it being fun ?
As I got in my teenage years, I had this feeling of it being so wrong but being so right at the same time. I liked being a guy (still do) but, something about wearing female's clothing just did something for me. I also felt waves of guilt and shame for it too. And confusion as well.
I was 5 when I first remember wondering why I couldn't have been born a girl. The thought of being a girl was constantly on my mind. It took me until age 11 to believe that I was born in the wrong gender and that I should try to be as feminine as I could be.
I had a girl friend when I was about 6 - 7 and that's where my crossdressing started because I was always intrigued buy her clothes because she was a mega girly girl and we used to play dress up lol girls being girls she would dress me up in her stuff etc it was cool and I always remember walking around her house in her mini skirts lol that's where my love of mini skirts come from but it was a fab childhood, she was a big influence on me and how I turned out lol
Back then, I hadn't heard the term "cross dressing" though I liked to try on dresses, bras and shoes when I was home alone.
So I guess I liked it, but i didn't know it was really a thing
I never thought that there was anything wrong with what I was doing, but I was afraid that I'd get caught. I lost the desire to cross dress during my teenage years, and only recently has it started to return.
-Lucy
When I was a kid, I thought I was the only one. I wondered if it meant I was gay. I hated myself sometimes. I fought it and it kept winning. In high school there were two CD's who shopped in the store where I worked. I really wanted to know what brand of pantyhose one of them wore because they were so pretty. I never asked, of course. I once saw in a Psychology book a picture of a man with his daughter. He was wearing a nightgown. I thought how amazing it was that some people didn't hide their crossdressing.
Thank you for the responses everyone.
I was kind of surprised at the variety of responses.
Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."
-Home Movies
(cartoon series)
Shoe size: 9 US women's.
Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
Height: 5' 6".
This is kinda how I felt. I was fascinated by girls clothes and wished I was allowed to dress how I wanted.
That was way I felt too. I thought I was the only one who liked dressing in girl's clothing, or that I was turning gay. Ad to that an unhealthy dose of paranoia (afraid of someone finding out) and insecurity (I was a skinny kid with home problems). One girl in highschool didn't want to go out with me because she didn't think I was masculine enough! That was a big blow, though now I wish I had taken advantage of my lack of masculinity instead of bulking up and growing a beard to hide it.
it was in the 60's when I first started crossdressing, and I had no idea why I wanted (needed) to do it. I just knew I could not resist it for some reason.
I felt so bad after doing it. I had no idea it was normal for someone like me, and I didn't know there were others doing it. no internet back then, and certainly no one talked about it.
When I was 12, I tried on my mother's yellow chiffon dress, slip, nylons, and panty girdle. The feeling was incredible. I loved it and it excited me. About six years earlier, I'd been forced to play a girl in a small children's summer day camp show. It was extremely humiliating and I felt nothing but shame and I was teased mercilessly for my role. Over the six years that passed between my forced dress up and my secret voluntary dress up, I felt odd desires about crossdressing which I couldn't understand. When I was 11, I saw a boy dressed up as a girl on Halloween and as the neighborhood boys teased him, I realized that I wished I had the courage to be a girl for my costume.
In my mother's yellow chiffon dress, once the euphoria wore off, I found the reflection of myself confusing and frightening. I wondered if I was the only 12 year old boy in the whole world who stood there gazing at himself dressed up as a girl who had done it voluntarily. I felt shame and decided that if I took off mom's dress and carefully put all the items I wore away very carefully that no one would ever suspect I had put on women's clothing. I swore to myself that I'd never do it again.
I didn't do it again, ever....at least until a week or two passed and I was again home alone. It became my ritual until I was old enough to go out on my own and meet girls. I knew that once I'd had a girlfriend the desire would vanish forever. You all know it never went away.
In High School I read "The Catcher in the Rye." There is a scene were Holden is in a cheap hotel and through a window he observes a man dressing himself up in a beautiful dress and all the undergarments. I thought it sounded creepy, but I felt I wasn't creepy and it occurred to me that maybe there were men who actually liked to wear dresses as I did.
I'm sixty now. I still dress up, but I'm mostly closeted. I have a loving wife who knows I crossdress, but she is adamant that I keep it private. I still feel the tug of war or creepiness and normalcy over my desires.
Emily
Posting Permissions
