came across a site with some useful myth debunking about CD-ers

[pamela7]

Here's the link:
http://www.spectrumwny.org/info/Xdressmyths.htm

the languaging uses "transvestite" instead of CD, but apart from that, seems like a useful reference place to reassure SO's.

xxx Pamela

[Adriana Moretti]

well..it IS from 1994.....I guess the tranny word was cool then LOL ....

[Zylia]

The "transgenderist" reference definitely shows the age of this article. I do like the answer to the first myth. This piece is twenty years old, but quite a few people here still don't get the whole "female role" sexual fantasy thing. As a genuine debunking tool however it is of limited value, considering the fact that none of it is properly sourced. Nonetheless it's good to see these reasonable answers confirmed by yet another person.

[sometimes_miss]

As a genuine debunking tool however it is of limited value, considering the fact that none of it is properly sourced. .

However, we must also remember that all of what is written about us, both on that page, here, and anywhere else, is all just theory; there is nothing proven about the causes and behavior of crossdressing, ANYWHERE. So the source, is completely irrelevent. With that in mind, the web page in question sums up a whole lot in a very short, easy to read, article. If I had that page available to me way back when my wife discovered that I crossdressed, things may have turned out differently.

[Zylia]

There's no such thing as "just theory" in science, even social science. I'm not asking for proof, but it would be nice to have some evidence to back some statements up, e.g. "we asked 100 cross-dressers from this and that area and these are the results". Just because something sounds reasonable (and don't get me wrong, it really does) doesn't make it true for most cases.

The only irrelevant source is an unused source in my opinion, but your mileage may vary.

[sometimes_miss]

There's no such thing as "just theory" in science, even social science. I'm not asking for proof, but it would be nice to have some evidence to back some statements up

What kind of 'evidence' would you like? You write that you don't need proof. And yet that is kind of what you're implying. I don't like to debate this off the topic but you aren't accepting PM's so there isn't much choice. And yes, there is 'just theory' until you have definitive repeatable evidence documenting what the theory proposes.

[Zylia]

How am I not accepting PMs? :S I don't think my inbox is full.

I think I gave a pretty clear example of what might constitute as some form of evidence. There's a difference in meaning between proof and evidence, at least to my knowledge of the English language. Either way, if any evidence is presented, I can question that evidence (e.g. the surveyed group isn't representative, the author's conclusions do not line up with the answers of the surveyed group, etc.). Now all I can do is question the text itself. That's my original point.

And, yet again, maybe it's my English, but I think you're confusing theories with hypotheses.

[Marcelle]

Hi Pamela,

Thanks for sharing your article. It is a bit old (1994) and some of the labels/language is dated but to be honest the concepts are similar to what is currently out there when it comes to myths about cross dressing.

Hugs

Isha

[pamela7]

I have hypotheses, I test them, if they are general and repeatable they become theories. I might not be able to quote outside sources, but I could quote case studies of my own and of others using the same "hypothesis" and "methods", giving rise to the theory deduced.

As its not an article claiming to be a theory, it's quoting some stats easily enough found to reference-able sources via wikipedia, suggesting that CD's are typically of the same statistical spectrum as everyone else in relation to sexual orientations. The rest is opinions as such but useful ones as a frame of reference that we're not all "perverts" - not that there's anything wrong with people who do things considered perverted - it's an article designed to ease the fears!

[bridget thronton]

The "myths" are stated as absolutes. We all know people here who do not conform to them. That is all the evidence needed. (myth busted?)

[cheryl reeves]

the prob is not all tg's are the same

[Stephanie47]

Yes, the article is from 1994. As a kid of the 1950's and 1960's I wonder what an Internet article would have said back in 1964 about cross dressing men. Sure, the article is not foot noted, big deal! I would rather my wife stumble across it than some rantings by scorned women. Also, keep in mind this forum is really not any indication of the general cross dressing world. Sometimes I cringe at some of the postings on this site as a general representation of cross dressing men.

I can just imagine a well documented article which indicates that although 95% of cross dressing men are heterosexual normal loving husband involved in their community and church and go to work every day and adore their wives and children and the family dog and help old ladies cross the street and mow the disabled veterans' law and..... BUT, 5% are engage in making secretive porn movies with other cross dressing men. Yikes! Is my husband in THAT 5%?

[Lacy PJs]

I would have to agree that, while the piece was an interesting read, there wasn't much in the way of "substantiated fact" in it. It would have far more influence if there were studies, surveys and other case material used to give credibility to the "current thinking."

Lacy PJs

[reb.femme]

...And, yet again, maybe it's my English, but I think you're confusing theories with hypotheses.

There is a difference. You can get a cream from your doctor to treat hypotheses.

the prob is not all tg's are the same

Sorry, but we're all gay......apparently or so I've read.


Whilst anything on debunking common misconceptions is great, the likelihood of the average person reading this is pretty low,...I theorise?

Rebecca

[Dana44]

Pamela, I think that it reflects many thing that we talk about. It has no substantial evidence. Thats why it is called myth's, yet I think it reflects many of the things that we observe.

[pamela7]

we could poll the thousands of members here and get our own census now ... then we have facts not fictions.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

It excites me when you use long words Pamela

[LilSissyStevie]

I don't think it's necessary for anyone making a claim to provide sources. If I don't believe it, I can look it up myself. For instance, it is claimed in this paper that gays/bisexuals are approximately 10% of the general population. I think that is a wild exaggeration. I looked it up and according to a recent CDC survey gays/bisexuals/lesbians together make up less than 3 percent of the population. Bisexuals make up 0.7% according to this survey. Look it up! I think the percentage of bisexuals in the TG community is waaaay greater than that. But I don't have a source for that opinion and I think its obvious enough that I don't need to prove it.

[Jenniferathome]

...And, yet again, maybe it's my English, but I think you're confusing theories with hypotheses.

No Zylia, your english is fine. Your words are bullets and Sometimes' brain is Superman. They just bounce off.

[ReineD]

This piece is twenty years old, but quite a few people here still don't get the whole "female role" sexual fantasy thing.

Zylia, hat do you mean by this, exactly. I'm curious.

To Pamela, in my opinion the author missed a few key points:

MYTH 1: All men who dress like women are gay.

I agree this is a myth.

MYTH 2: Women who have sex with crossdressed men are lesbians.

Again through observation I agree this is a myth, but although the author lists reasons why some hetero women have sex with their husbands dressed, he does not mention the key reason. "Lesbian" defines a woman who has sex with another woman. Crossdressed men are not women. If a wife is not attracted to women then she is not lesbian.

MYTH 3: Transvestites wish they were women.
MYTH 4: Transvestites act like women even when wearing men's clothes.

I don't think these are complete myths. There are many threads from members here who not only wish they were women, they refer to themselves as women when they are dressed. Yet these members have no plans for any type of transition or body modification. The author does not separate fantasy from reality. A person can wish for something without actually wanting it. We also have quite a few members who say they are naturally feminine in male mode, for example the way they sit, walk, etc. And we have members who do enjoy going out while presenting male and wearing one or two pieces of female clothing and a little makeup.

MYTH 5: Transvestites suffer from a sexual dysfunction.
MYTH 6: Transvestism is a mental disorder.

Saying that no crossdresser suffers from sexual or mental issues is too broad. Although alternate sexual preferences are no longer considered dysfunctional, there are crossdressers who alternatively are asexual or they prefer being autosexual. If this myth-buster piece is intended for wives, I think it is important to mention this. The author does mention the American Psychiatry Association's definition of dysfunction, but he neglects to mention there are indeed crossdressers whose sexual expression has a negative impact on their productivity, their social lives, their relationships. And while it is true that transvestism in itself is not a mental disorder, there are crossdressers who suffer from associated issues such as hoarding/excessive shopping or porn addiction.

It would be good to provide sources for the claims being made here and try to give an accurate description of the diversity in this community rather than make such broad statements.

[VS Fan]

MYTH 3: Transvestites wish they were women.
MYTH 4: Transvestites act like women even when wearing men's clothes.

I don't think these are complete myths. There are many threads from members here who not only wish they were women, they refer to themselves as women when they are dressed. Yet these members have no plans for any type of transition or body modification. The author does not separate fantasy from reality. A person can wish for something without actually wanting it. We also have quite a few members who say they are naturally feminine in male mode, for example the way they sit, walk, etc. And we have members who do enjoy going out while presenting male and wearing one or two pieces of female clothing and a little makeup.

Completely agree with you on this point, Reine. There are times that I totally *wish* I was a woman. I don't *think* I am, don't feel like I'm in the wrong body etc, just live an average, stressful job, etc male life and enjoy CD'ing so much that I, exactly as you say, enjoy the fantasy of what it would be like to actually *be* a woman (grass greener and all that), but not one that I transition to, just a woman from the start.

Anyway, if they were to update this I would change the myth to "Transvestites are all really just stage 1 transsexuals, or those without the courage to complete the journey." For me that's not true, since I know I'm NOT a woman, and don't really believe that my life would be any more complete if I went down that path.

VS Fan

[Erika Lyne]

It has been said many times that the terms used are dated, we all get that. It seems to me that the person who wrote this was speaking of personal knowledge of people on the trans-spectrum (as we call it today). To me it also seems that the writer is a member of what might have been the equivalent to this site for a support group of the day, granted twenty years ago and trying to help our community. I don't think they were trying to provide scientific proof but rather community, peer and social support to people who are just finding out or researching about cross dressing. Whether the crossdressing is done by the reader, spouse or society in general it seems to be intended to be the start of a support network.

With that said, I find it quite unsettling that the doctor quoted seems to have missed a BIG issue about crossdressing that the writer admits to in the very next paragraph. When I was in my 20s, the only one who knew definitively about my CDing was my now wife. If anyone else, including a doctor, had asked if I dress I would have lied. I did dress during play time as the mom, sister, daughter in Kindergarden and was ridiculed for it. I could have been one of those boys in that research group but I would have lied when asked about dressing in later years because I knew at the age of 4 that a boy dressing up in girl's clothes and playing a girl's part was wrong socially. The second paragraph below sure makes uslook like we are quite good at lying and not telling anyone how we really feel.

"Dr. Richard Green, M.D., of UCLA, concluded a study in which he followed a group of effeminate boys from early childhood into their 20s. As children many of them were dressed as girls. But none developed into crossdressing adults..."

"Because many crossdressers fear being found out, they consciously try to act as traditionally "masculine" as possible when not crossdressed. This is not difficult for most of them because they are usually masculine men. Crossdressers are not necessarily effeminate. In fact, crossdressers are no more effeminate nor more masculine than any other man. While in men's clothes, most crossdressers do not stand out from the general population. However, because some crossdressers have a fear bordering on paranoia that their secret will be discovered by others, they often adopt exaggerated masculine mannerisms; e.g. the "super-macho male." "

[Robbin_Sinclair]

There may be myths out there but finding a reality to debuke the myth is impossible.

We are an extremely diverse population. We are in the fringe of society. I'm happy but I have to go to this site to really find people like me. AND, not many of you are like me either.

Oh hell, what'cha wearing today, sweetie? I'm thinking YELLOW, in honor of the Scottish American Football kilt that I have. Yellow it is!

robbin

[Krisi]

Any of us could write something like this and post it on the Internet as "fact". I'll bet searching would turn up a page claiming crossdressers are all gay or mentally ill.

I wouldn't argue anything in that link, it's close, but as someone else posted, we are all different and our relationships with our wives are all unique.

[Beverley Sims]

There are many different views held on the internet about what we do....

They are all as authoritative as the next.

Ask me I am an expert too.