Looking for feedback on going out for the first time.

[AllisonCS1]

Possibly, I've been waiting on my therapist to recommend something but one of the issues is basically the whole five days off a month and that Sometimes I really don't have control about when I get back.

And well, I know I said I lack self confidence earlier in this post but... I do... yet I get tired of being alone so I discovered online dating sites awhile ago and met someone whom worked with the lgbt community as part of their job... but that was back in December and everything on text was going pretty good up until she wanted to meet... which normally is no problem... I like neutral places and moderately nice restraunts but she wanted to meet me as Allison at a coffee shop and I sort of panicked because I wasn't ready so I sort of flaked out and blew her off... And yes I feel like a moron... and a jerk... And regret not doing it then... not only because she was in a position to actually help me but more so because she was a really nice person.

especially more so because she recommended my current therapist... and our messages were long and thought provoking...

The thing is though, to me this is a bit more than just cross dressing, how much more i'm not sure which is why I have sought out help.

[Lexi_83]

Look around, there must be support groups around Chicago and you can see if one fits. Some even have changing rooms so you can go to the event, change there, then come home drab. Others have events like makeup classes, special evenings for spouses, etc.

Just an idea. I found going the first time to be really difficult but it helps with accepting this part of you.

[AllisonCS1]

Well I actually live way up in nowhere's ville Wisconsin, I'm just more familiar with Chicago... And most of my time off is spent up there in wisc, unless well there's this current trip and then camping in june or july.

[Sometimes Steffi]

So, here's an analogy. When some people go swimming in cold water, they go in up to their ankle, then mid-calf, then knee, then thigh, then waist, then they swim. Others just get up a head of steam and run right in. It sounds like you're making excuses, which I've done myself. So, just run right in. You have 3 girls for support, which is more than most of us get.

BTW, you look very pretty, and not at all like a DQ,

[Helen_Highwater]

On the rest room issue, do what the GG's do. Go with a friend or in this case one or more of your siblings. Strength in numbers.

[Adriana Moretti]

if you are going out with 3 women...go ANYWHERE ...you are fine.....a real GG is your best accessory !! xoxo

[AllisonCS1]

Thanks everyone for the tips and advice. . Though since 3 ggs are accessories doesn't that mean I have to coordinate their outfits... lol...

[Beverley Sims]

Shopping trips solo are a good start and then work up to meeting others to give you company.

Outings with a friend are a valuable way to get rid of the collywobbles.

[Kristy 56]

Allison,the first time that I went out it was to a salon for a makeover. I called first to see if they'd do a Mto F makeover. They did and were very supportive,and also said I could change there if I wished. Before long I owned that spa between haircuts,facials ,massages,pedis and manicures. I used to shop at Dress Barn in drab,but I soon got to know the staff there and went dressed. Soon after that I went to a lesbian bar. I called first and asked if it was ok,and they said yes. The owner was very supportive,and so were the girls there. However, I went there early evening around 6 or 7. That's my story for whatever it's worth. I do hope that you enjoy your experience.

[CynthiaD]

Allison:

Trust me, girl, going out is no big deal. Try this. Get dressed, drive to a convenience store, go in and buy a bottle of water, and leave. The experience will be shockingly ordinary. But if you can do that, you can do anything. Oh, and go out during the day, not at night, at least at first. After a few short trips you'll get used to the idea and you can work your way up to things like shopping malls, clothing stores, restaurants, and the like.

Pretty soon you'll be the "woman about town," and you'll wonder why you were ever worried about it.

Best of luck,

Cynthia.