I don't know if publicity is your thing, but I would imagine your contribution and your progress on these issues would make a compelling TV documentary. You are at the cutting edge- more people should know about what you're achieving.
Best wishes for continued progress Isha.
Nikki
I used to have a short attention spa
All the best Isha. Thank you for your contributions.
From the other side of the world, I present arms to you (a hand salute will not suffice).
I was just thinking the same thing.Originally Posted by Zylia
I'm going to call it here and now for future reference: by the time you retire, you're seriously contemplating a full transition
Your supervisor seems pretty cool. Too bad I can't steal them and put them in my company over me. I'm not trans* but they're prolly cool in most other areas too. Mine is a bitch.
Hey Isha,
I've been occupied with other matters and have come late to this thread. Congrats on this (potential) step forward in your journey.
Bridget
Your friendly, neighborhood cyber CD.
Isha, two things come to mind:
1) I commend you for doing this the right way. Too often we hear of someone breaking a law/regulation/policy and THEN challenging the sense of it. Maybe it's really true that it's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
2) Something I don't quite understand, probably because I don't see myself as gender fluid, just always a guy who occasionally dresses for pleasure (for context). I try to understand that people dress to conform to whatever "mood" (wrong word I'm sure, but I mean wherever they find themselves along that gender fluidity line at the time). As casual Friday becomes crossover Friday for you, what if you don't feel feminine on Friday? What if you feel feminine on Tuesday but can't wear female clothes? I can only guess that it's just a partial accommodation. Or a reasonable accommodation. Will you be satisfied with a reasonable accommodation, or is this just one brick in the wall to fall, with the others to be addressed later (like wear what I want any time I want)?
Speaking as a gender-fluid or gender-blended person, I think for a lot of us who find that our female personas balance or even exceed our male ones, necessity dictates that initially, such expression of our female side has to take place privately. For a large percentage of us, any "outing" takes a long time and is restricted to family and close personal friends. The majority of any "non-out" CD's dressing is done behind closed doors for many reasons.
Having even one day a week to express that is a big step forward and a huge acceptance for any TV/CD/TG person. Obviously as time goes by she may want more, and that's a personal hurdle to jump at the time.
But to go back to your point, for those of us with a stronger female side, there is no "mood" trigger for dressing, we want to be dressed as much as possible (more so as a result of the enforced privacy in our early years), there is no risk of not feeling feminine come friday, because generally speaking, we feel pretty feminine every day. And the promise of dress down friday when we can raid the wardrobe and wear what we feel comfortable in would be more than enough to have most of us up nice and early on friday morning so we have time to make ourselves look beautiful.
For many on the hybrid spectrum, acceptance of both sides of who we are is just as important as acceptance of our dressing.
Hi Nicole,
Yes, I wanted to ensure this was done correctly as I am challenging an existing policy and to have just shown up on Friday as Isha would not have gone well. I really want this to be an education piece for my new coworkers and take the opportunity to put them at ease as much as I can. Albeit, I already know some people are not happy with the potential this may come to fruition.
I love the term "crossover Friday BTW. I guess you are right in that it constitutes more of a reasonable accommodation and I will have to cross that bridge when I get to it. The key thing for me is the ability to have the latitude to express this side of me at some juncture during the week. So if I feel I need to dress on a Tuesday, it is probable I could hold out until Friday and if the moment has passed then I would defer to the next week. However, if I find that I cannot sync Friday and accommodation, then I may need to go back to the drawing board and redefine what accommodation means and that may include getting permission to purchase a woman's service dress uniform. However, I don't think it will come to that. But I will not say "never" as I am not sure what will occur when/should the accommodation be granted.
Hugs
Isha
Hello isha maxbee when you work with the military on this touchy subject and they see that for the good of the systemthat people work more relaxed when they can dress neatly in the clothes of the gender they feel when they wakeup eachday. Then when they see the good production accomplirhed each day and there are no fussing+fighting ouer the issue they will change the rules. When this happens you+others can sing the chorous from the old hymn when the battle is over we shall wear a crown of dresses.
Abigail and Isha, I knew "mood" was the wrong word to use, but I figured you knew what I meant. It seems that Isha embraces both her masculine and feminine sides while Abigail's feminine identity is stronger.
Casual Friday, or dress-down Friday, at least in my experience (which never included dressing en femme at work) still has standards I could never meet if I raided my closet. haha Asking to wear a woman's uniform doesn't seem like much to ask. But I suspect the hoops to jump through to make it happen will seem like a lot to ask. "You want to WHAT?"
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