This is a repost from earlier with all references to the "R" word omitted.
So, I'm looking for advice on seeking a compromise with my wife. We've had a zero tolerance policy -- really more of a "this is a disorder/addiction that needs healing" policy. Now I'm back in therapy and realizing -- though my therapist remains neutral -- that the only sustainable path is one where I can find some expression of my feminine side. I've tried complete "abstinence" and this always leads me back to dressing in secret and lying to my wife. My marriage is infinitely more important to me than the dressing, so divorce is not an option. (I have the world's best wife.) My view has slowly changed over the years and I no longer see a strong argument for CDing being (inherently) morally wrong. Given our background, this is a big deal and will be hard for my wife.
Any advice on suggesting small steps of feminine expression? If she agrees to let me dress in some manner, I want to find a way to start that won't overwhelm her. I may suggest letting me dress at my mom's only (far, far away, and my mom is accepting).
Any thoughts on this process? I need to take it slowly because of where she's coming from. I will never demand acceptance or accommodation.