Jessicaa,
I have been transgendered all of my life and I'm closer to sixty than fifty. One of my biggest regrets is not expressing who I am because of what other people might think. I have battled with the whys and guilt and fear of discovery. Then I saw a girl on youtube describe why she dresses as a woman in four words: "It makes me happy". You'll never be younger than you are today, do what makes you happy. Remember this quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, “You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”