I'm so close yet so far away from getting my SRS. I'm close because now that I have insurance I'm pretty sure covers this surgery and could get it done this year. I'm so far away because I am having a problem with a former therapist who seen me for more than six months. She knows me very well and we discussed my gender issues at length. In January I attempted to contact her to write a letter for my surgery. I already had one letter from a psychologist who tested me and all that. His letter was excellent, but as most of you know, we need two letters; and I felt this lady would do the job.
I'm seeing a surgeon here in Ann Arbor, MI but before he even will do a consultation for surgery, everything has to be "approved" by Gender Services. This is an organization connected to the University of Michigan and since it's through U of M Hospital, they somehow are in charge of screening all the applicants for surgery. I want this surgeon because he comes highly recommended and he's only 45 minutes from my house! I don't have to travel out of State or out of the Country to get this done.
I've filled out all their required paperwork, submitted the letter from my psychologist and when this counselor finally returned my phone calls, and wrote the letter in February, I thought I was on my way to the next step. I was told the next step was for them to send the doctor my info and someone would contact me for a consultation date. They told me the doctor usually sets up appointments rather quickly and I could have a surgery date within four months. I was very excited!
Then I got the phone call from Gender Services stating there was a problem with the letter this female counselor had written. They said they needed to contact her and give her instructions on what exactly they're looking for in the letter. This takes a couple more weeks. By then it was March and this process had been going on for two months.
It's now April 22nd. I'm still waiting for this counselor to send them the updated version of the letter. I've tried calling her several, several times to find out what is the delay? Gender Services has attempting to contact her by phone several times. She just keeps telling them, "I want to write it, I'm just busy." She wont call or contact me to tell me what's going on. She just plain and simply doesn't write the letter. Week after week goes by and nothing is ever done about this.
I know many if not all of you understand the symptoms of Gender Dysphoria and I know some of you on this forum are post-op; and understand the anxiety involved with waiting for your surgery to take place. Every night I go to bed thinking and fantasizing about what this will be like. I can't imagine what it will feel like to finally have a vagina, but I try hard to imagine it. I think every day about all that life will be once this procedure is complete. I fantasize all the time about how it might feel when I wake up after surgery and what I might experience. Some people say they felt a lot of pain, others say they didn't have that much pain, but a lot of discomfort. Everyone's experience is unique and I'm sure there's no way I can realistically imagine what I will experience; but hey the mind goes where it wants sometimes.
Every morning I wake-up and start to wonder, "is today the day that I get the call from G.S. that they received the letter and it's on to the next step?" Every day goes by and no phone call. This has been going on since January and now it's almost May! I can't force the woman to write the letter and calling her office constantly doesn't seem to be working because she doesn't return my phone calls. I'm now seeing a new therapist at her agency and last week I asked him to look into it for me. I asked him to ask her WTF? I haven't heard from him this week either, but am scheduled to see him tomorrow. So I can question him further about if he has any information regarding this situation.
In the mean-time I just sit here an wait. I try to fight off thoughts about this because it is driving me crazy. Yet I can't because it's so damn important. It's something I've waited for for a long time and at this age, 51, I'm tired of waiting! I have several reasons for wanting this surgery now, a.s.a.p.! However; I'm not going to list them all here.
The worst part of all of this is twofold. First of all she's the Executive Director of this agency, which is why she's my "former therapist," she no longer sees clients for therapy. She's in-charge of the therapists. I know there must be someone who's above her at this place, but do I really want to go "over her head?" I will if this continues, but I hate to go there, if I don't have to. Second; I'm a licensed professional counselor myself! I see people privately and give them gender therapy. I write letters for people for HRT and can write one of the letters for surgery if need be, but I'm not a psychologist so I can't do psychological testing. The point is, I'm a colleague. She's not only doing this to me as a former client, but also not communicating with me as a professional colleague as well!
I've already made up my mind that once I the letter has been received by GS and this whole ordeal is over, I'm going to make a formal complaint and have something done about this. I will do whatever it takes to make sure this counselor has some kind of consequences for her actions. However; that is in the future. For now I just sit here and wait. Day after day, week after week; and it's driving me crazy!!!
I haven't had SRS yet but I do have one letter and I just saw my new psych for the second visit today... I really do like her a lot better than the guy I saw the first time... Id often feel worse than I did after going in to see him so it was a relief when he wrote that letter and I could move on
Anyway I really do at least feel like Im getting something out of it with her, she has a LOT of experience with this stuff.... As my day draws nearer I think a lot about the surgery too and I want it more and more.... Thats all I have and Im not sure it really helps much but I hope you can get it all resolved soon 
I'm still waiting to hear from the gender identity clinic for my first appointment having been referred, and it could be a long time before I can even start HRT. I hope they get their act together for you soon.
