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Thread: Outed at my painting group !

  1. #1
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    Outed at my painting group !

    A couple of weeks ago I confided with a good female friend in my painting group about seeing a counsellor, I didn't say why but she asked if it was another woman ? I replied in a manner of speaking it was and left it at that.
    Today she asked if things were OK and I said that my sessions had finished but had been back to my GP as some the issues hadn't been covered . She said she didn't mind talking with me if that helped and I said that could she help if I turned up in a skirt and makeup !
    She looked at me and said why not, I don't mind, just do it ! I was so surprised, as if it was an everyday occurrence ! I replied that as much as I'd love to I didn't want to risk offending anyone but then added that I could compromise and finish my self portraits at one of the meetings ! She thought that was great ! I also added that I'd come to accept it and that the family all knew and were OK about it, after she started saying poor you and the poor family.
    She is a kind, caring person but inclined to talk openly so I may have outed myself to the group, maybe I will be finishing my portraits after all !

  2. #2
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Sound like a new BFF ???.
    I enrolled once in a class as my fem self about 12 years ago, but class was cancelled, not enough interest apparently. Shame really, but still on my bucket list.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  3. #3
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    It's always nice to have someone who supports you and offers to just listen from time to time. You took a little chance and it paid off in your favor, congrats.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

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    You could move in increments. Why not show up in a blouse and fem jeans. Years ago I took some classes and started out wearing drab and realized it was a very open group. I began to dress more fem with each class to the point that I became one of the girls (I was one of two guys in the class). I took the follow on class and wore fem from the beginning. It was a lot of fun for me and none of the women had a problem with my attire. I never wore a skirt or dress and neither did anyone else since it was usually sub zero outside.

  5. #5
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    Liz,
    When the lady had thought about it for a few minutes she asked what colours I prefer to wear, she suggested jeans with a soft top, when I said I didn't do jeans she said if you come in a skirt you'll stand out ! She's right most of the ladies wear trousers, one or two with a tunic dress over them !

    I would love to run my own group then I might consider dressing from the start !

  6. #6
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Most cders like to wear skirts and dresses and I think it's mostly because it is a greater separation from the male clothes we typically wear. Girl jeans still feel like jeans. A little snug in places, but a dress is so much different. Also because dressing is a somewhat special occasion so I think we want to dress as feminine as possible. An actual dress.... women generally will not wear them for every day activities. Skirts sometimes. So yeah, a dress will tend to make us stand out all the more.

    I think a dress and very tall heels going through a mall, grocery store or wherever, 1st people are simply going to be aware of the difference, then they will clock the cder as they are now looking more intently as to why this "woman" is dressed as she is, then they will see its one of THOSE Women.

  7. #7
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    One reason I don't wear dresses or skirts out is that no one wears them except for a few special occasions. I was in Home Depot a few years back and I hear the clicking of heals coming down the aisle. I also see everyone turning to see who it is. She was dressed to perfection makeup and all, tall and proportioned, but you could see people look at her and recognize that it was not a REAL woman. Had she dressed like all the other women she would have passed completely.

    While I understand the desire to wear dresses and all it does attract attention. I happen to like jeans and shorts. My favorite is jeans with a silk blouse or linen shirt. I know that when I wear the linen shirt if someone looks close they can see my bra, but no one seems to care or say anything. I'm not saying your wrong but would rather wear fem clothes than go drab. But, it certainly is your choice.

  8. #8
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    Well, where I live is common to see girls in dresses or skirts doing everyday stuff. Even heels are quite common, just not the very high or fancy ones.
    A dress and ankle boot is quite a normal combination, specially in the summer due to the warm weather.

  9. #9
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    Theresa,
    I have no fashion advice to offer but you seem to have crossed another barrier here and I am happy for you. I'm sure you opened up to to this lady because you liked her and trusted her. Off you go on another part of your journey. Best wishes.

  10. #10
    Senior Member MsVal's Avatar
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    That's actually pretty good news.
    You've been struggling for some time with the idea of coming out to that group. It may not be happening exactly the way you envisioned it to happen, but the struggle will be over.
    - Own it
    - Get in front of it
    - Manage it

    Best wishes
    MsVal
    -

  11. #11
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    She looked at me and said why not, I don't mind, just do it ! I was so surprised, as if it was an everyday occurrence ! I replied that as much as I'd love to I didn't want to risk offending anyone but then added that I could compromise and finish my self portraits at one of the meetings !
    Teresa, you'd probably be surprised at the number of GG's who have told me exactly that. I'd think that an artists' group would be a great one to interact with en femme. Oh -- your self-portraits -- are they of you en femme?? Maybe you SHOULD go for it!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  12. #12
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    Claire,
    Yes they of Teresa, who'd want the man but he's not a bad artist !!

  13. #13
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    .. so maybe it's time they meet that beautiful lady!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

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