Long story short (long version will be posted in my journal), I was put in the position of having to tell our daughters with my wife present about the separation and pending divorce and my GD and transitioning all at the same time. I was aware that we were going to tell them about the separation, but I thought that would be enough for them to digest without going into my "situation" as my ex calls it. But after I told them about the separation (my ex was totally silent) and many tears, my ex piped up "what about the other thing, you know, your situation?" . I said that was to be for another day. At which point my wife went silent for a few minutes, then stormed out of the room. So, there I am with my two kids staring at each other, going WTF? So, crap, I had no choice. So I told them. My oldest (26) got it right away. My youngest, not so much (23), so I had to explain what GD was etc. She then got it. So after about a 10 minute talk on my apart about my life and GD and what it means and what I now need to do, etc. My wife came back in. I told her that I told them. She calmed down.
After a few more minutes of conversation about long I had know about my GD (17 years - with a lot of denial and hiding), my oldest quietly got out of her chair, gave me a big hug and said how awful it must have been for me to have to suppress it all these years, and that she is so happy that i can now be who I am meant to be. My youngest is still processing all of this (she is a ruminator - a laywer, go figure) gave me a big hug, was really crying and said she loved me so much that she wants me to be there for her. Which I of course said I would.
So, my ex and my youngest needed to get something to eat, and my ex specifically told me I was not welcome, but that worked out okay as my oldest had some questions and wanted to talk. My youngest gave me a big hug and said she would come over to my house tomorrow to talk more. So my oldest and I went off to a coffee shop and we talked about about 1.5 hours. I told her everything she wanted to know and more as she said she wanted to know as much about me and where I am with this as I am comfortable with sharing. So I told her everything. She kept saying that she was just so happy that I can now be happy for the first time and be who I am meant to be. When I got home, she sent me the following text:
"thanks for being so open! It makes the road ahead much easier (for me anyways). I love you too! So much. No matter what. Always! You are a wonderful dad."
Damn...must be allergy season, or something in my eye again....
I am so fortunate.....I have awesome kids!!!
Rachel Smith May 2017
