23 1/2 months with the injections the girls are getting harder to hide when I'm out about I wear a XL western shirt an that is starting to in ineffective. Wearing a bra under my shirt really shows off the girls. .
23 1/2 months with the injections the girls are getting harder to hide when I'm out about I wear a XL western shirt an that is starting to in ineffective. Wearing a bra under my shirt really shows off the girls. .
i myself want to know what is the avreage size brest you grow. i do want to hide the fact i would be transtioning from family as long as posibel. i already planed on binding while in certain areas of my life untill i decide i am 100 percent the woman i know i am.
Careful, I've heard that binding growing boobs can mess them up.
If you're gonna grow boobs then you gotta be prepared to own 'em, you can't hide them forever.
As for size, it's literally all over the map.
Expect nothing and act surprised at the results.
I myself have been wondering this. I would love to start hormones, but I'm very worried about coming out to my family. As for my friends, I could care less. It may sound wrong, but why should I worry about them leaving. If they decide to leave, then they're not my real friends. My family however is a whole new story. I have thought about this for a long time and I'm so anxious to give hormones a try. I was just hoping to start with them and have a bit of time to think about how to come out and just do it.
Last edited by Ellaxo; 06-25-2015 at 02:31 AM.
The gender program I went through kept spelling out the proper order of events to maximise the chances of success and minimize the possibilities of regret. It's quite simple really.
First come out to people who matter. Make sure that your life post transition will work (family, social support, work, place to stay, etc.). THEN start hormones.
It's Frances with an E, like Frances Farmer. Francis is a man's name.
I can see the value in the steps that Frances outlined above. Coming out to family is extremely difficult and to some it absolutely destroys the relationship. In cases like those you need to be 110% sure that you are on the right path as they can and will put a lot of pressure on you to conform.
It's impossible to tell anyone how long they will be able to hide the effects of hrt or what the average size of breast is. Everyone is different and YMMV due to genetics, age ect...
Megan
I'm behind Frances on this one. After you come out to your family, important friends and some coworkers, then you have the serenity to transition without the stress of the upcoming inevitable come out. It needs to not be rushed.
Actually, my therapist wouldn't right the HRT letter until I actually came out to my parents. She gave me advices on how to handle it and it worked well (it took 4 weeks before I could try to talk about it again, and 3 more weeks before telling them I started hormones for real and switching to full-time).
Ellaxo, do not "try"', just do the hard part first, otherwise you will regret it.
How long can you hide the effects of HRT? About 6 months to 1 year. Your time may vary. Alot depends on genetics, how well your body adsorbs and uses the hormones, and Age at onset. Or, there may not be any change in your body at all. It is a crapshoot as to whether or not the hormones will work at all. Pay your money. take your chances.
Yeah, I'm pretty much on Jorja's 6-12 month timeline, I think. I'm 3.5 months in on HRT and have AA breasts. I can still hide them, but they're becoming noticeable. I have an extremely small and slim frame, so unlike most of my trans friends who are quite a bit larger than I am, it doesn't take much on me to become noticeable.
This does make sense. I guess I will go the route of telling my family first. It will be hard for sure, but reading what other have said seems like the best option. I've just been contemplating for a long time of when to tell them.Originally Posted by Karolyn
In general I think coming out earlier, rather than later to friends and family is better. Your job is a special case. Sometimes it makes sense delaying coming out to them until you are ready to go fulltime. Coming out early on the job, particularly insisting on female pronouns and a female name is often a disaster, in my experience. (I've seen women do this - it was awful.)
Maybe you can put it off by saying you have Klinefelders ? Look it up,, That chic Cloe on a documentary used it after a Bee sting. Worked for her for a little while,Just putting off the inevetable though, I know it sucks and there will be lots and lots of questions and pain and more questions and more pain because most cis people will almost never understand!
I might get crap for this but I've personally held off on coming out to everyone until HRT and hair removal had done their work.
Granted I've been out to a few but I wanted to at least put an effort in to be taken seriously, I just couldn't do it back when I had heavy beard shadow and whatever else.
I came out to friends and family before starting HRT. I have been on HRT 2 months and I wore a sports bra the other day underneath a polo shirt when I had to make a call with my boss at a customer's plant. I will be coming out at work in about 10 months unless it just can't be hidden sooner. I work from home much of the time. I live as a woman except for customer calls or required monthly visits to the office. I decided to postpone coming out at work to maximize the amount of time before I could be fired. I know we should be protected but I am in sales and I just don't trust that I won't face some adverse consequences at work. I plan on coming out and informing them I will be undergoing SRS May or June of next year.
Suzanne
The important answer here is "Why do you want to?"
You will be surprised how little people care about your transitioning. Its their own stuff that they care for. I been dressing full time for two months now and only postive comments has come my way. My family knows, and years ago when i tol them they blew all over the map. 2 months ago, all clothes got changed. Hair got combed as a girls and skin care been like this my whole life. HRT. Its what you truly want and you wont hide it. You are not scared of what others see about you. You are scared that you will like being yourself. So they look at you funny , they are closed minded. If they where having issues with you, its cause they probably cant deal with it themselves in other things.
Stop pretending to be a boy. None of us are. We are girls with some changed to happen.
This type of comment is incredibly insensitive. Some of us have significant financial reasons or social reasons to delay or stair step our transitions. Yet when those people post it's the predictable responses of "why would you want to hide" from members that does nothing to actually help others. And no one steps up to stop this type of judgement.
At times this forum leaves me feeling more isolated because it seems if one doesn't conform to a preset notion they are deemed not trans enough.
We take hormones for different reasons. To say that someone on hormones should be ready to live full time is incredibly narrow minded and just a biased in their opinion as the members in society that judge trans people in general. I started my hormones for emotional and mental relief not for the physical changes. I wasn't ready to go full time, but was at a point where I had to find a fix to the problems in my mind. Hormones were that answer.
So why judge what the op shoukd be doing? Why not just reply to the question?
Personally, I have been on hrt for 9 months. I can still pass as male on public. People close to me can see some physical changes but I have experienced a significant weight loss so some.of the changes are blamed on that. I can't comment beyond 9 months, but hopefully other members who have been on hrt longer could add something.
Melissa
In my head I am a size 6.. in the mirror I see a size 14
One day I hope mind and mirror match
There is no judgement of "not trans enough" from any of the transitioners who regularly participate on these forums and to say that there is insults those who freely give their time to support others who may be going down that path.
Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.
This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
Melissa its your comment that is predicatable..
PLease go back and read the thread.
Did you see myself and others have an honest and direct discussion about Launa's mindset?? what on earth can be wrong with that??
Launa found out alot of info and shared her perspective very constuctively
i didn't find the comment you mentioned insensitive at all except in the sense that it had already been stated and discussed in a meaningful and constructive way.
I really don't like the kind of broad empty generalizations you made... "......because it seems if one doesn't conform to a preset notion they are deemed not trans enough."
Please tell me exactly what this means?? trans enough.. what does it mean?? In my opinion those kinds of statements are about YOUR preconcieved notions
is there a view (held by lots of medical people as well) that hormones really should not be messed with unless there is a meaningful commitment to transition??? yep
is there an opposing view?? yep
and the views gets discussed and debated...check out the thread you are currently in...
I am sorry that some people make you feel isolated because they are "trannier", but frankly i think that judgement comes from inside of you..
Pretty much every transsexual i know that transitioned knows all about getting judged by others and its something we all have to get over big time if we want to succeed
With all due respect this IS the TS forum.
I realize that there has been a movement to include those who aren't transitioning, or who have no plans of transitioning, or who have 'transitioned' yet retained their male name and identity. An HRT prescription does not a transition make. The hard part is the social stuff. The things that get done in front of the world. In my view, that social part is so difficult and traumatic that I don't think anyone should do it and I support those who stop at the middle or whatever.
However, this little corner of the vast CD.com empire exists to support those that are on the transition path. Those that have stupidly pulled the pin on the Tranny Grenade(tm) or are planning on it.
Regarding the 'trans enough' argument, I don't think any of us really care how 'trans' somebody is. If a dude wants to transition just for the panties, than God help him, but this would be the correct forum to share and ask about the issues he will face during transition.
WPATH standards recommend hormone therapy to help mitigate GD. For Some individuals that is enough. Luckily those individuals can go about their lives as male or part-time with the benefits of HRT.
My experience is different. I was one of the stupid ones that had no choice but to pull the pin on the Tranny grenadeTM and fully transition. Living in the middle was not an option. I knew when I started hormones at some point I would have to come out and be honest with those I interact with. I made plans and never hid my physical development. I was open with my employees and customers about my transition six months after starting hormones. I came to this subforum to get advice how to handle the various issues transition causes. I have my own view on what is transition. For the life of me I can't fathom why anyone that is living as male without any intention of socially transitioning would classify themselves as TS. I guess we are so cool everybody wants to join the club.
Since I have no real experience living a dual identity, I can't offer any advice on how to hide the physical effects. I can only offer my experiences that I encountered socially transitioning and facial reconstruction surgery. Doesn't make me trannier than anyone. Just more experience. Want to know how to handle dealing with a spouse and divorce, yet still work with her as a business partner? Be happy to help. What's involved with changing your name, gender and organizations to inform? Send me a Pm. I'll email a list. Difficulty socially transitioning? Sure I'll talk about it. As a matter of fact I'm finding it very challenging and so far the hardest time period to date.
But how to live as male and hide stuff. Sorry I can't relate.
"When failure is off the table the only thing left is to negotiate levels of success" M Hobbes
"Never Let your Fear Decide Your Fate" Awolnation
"A new dawn destroys the tranquility of the darkness" Steph W
Well said Chic,, But like I said before in my other thread,, I am going against the Grain on this one,, As you know there is no way to do this right, For the simple fact of all of us living in different places and being in all kinds of different lines of employment fields and relationships.
So I think I will be the one to pick and chose what I will keep and give away right now,, But as you said about the social part like name change or gender markers,An so on,, I think what the question was about is how long could MOST PEOPLE hide the effects of the skin and face and body changes to where there would be no denying it at all? An I think it's all up to the person and there personal hygene, Like how they keep there hair, How they keep there beard shadow,, Laser or not? What type of clothes do they wear? Voice,, Mannerisms ,, There are ways to stay rude and crude on hormones if you are rude and crude person,, Keep up the man act all I can tell you . Anyway getting back to the stuff you do in front of the world, Growing a big set of tits may be a pretty big one don't ya think? You can change your name to a gender nuetral one an still get by,, But hidding a big set of nockers is pretty dam hard too,,lol,,
By the way,, We get to wear panties? Dammmmmmmmmmm ,,, Somebody could have told me !!
OK folks, lets leave the definition of transition out of this thread. If you want to define transition, feel free to do so here
Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said
The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another
"Trannier than thou" (and its variants) is just name-calling hurled by the offended. And nothing offends them more than being judged against the standard of their own words and posts.
Kaitlyn, thanks for that last line. For some reason the concept struck me differently on this reading. I don't think I have ever thought specifically in those terms about those close to me.
Lea
Well, not really. Some of us get more profound emotional benefits from HRT than others, but at the end of the day, starting on HRT means boarding the train for girl-town. Once you start it, unless you are just horribly unfortunate (some of us are), you will eventually reach a point where you look very different. How quickly that happens is completely unpredictable - it is based on the medications you take, and your estrogen receptors, and other physical characteristics. Some of us never pass - I'm not talking about that - but most of us look quite different after a while.
I think conservatively, 6 months is the minimum before changes start to be noticeable. 9-12 months is probably more realistic. For some it's longer. After 9-12 months, a person probably ought to have a plan for how they are going to go fulltime. Of course this will depend on how things are proceeding for you, but I'll tell you that I've watched women who thought that no one could tell they were in transition who were just obvious to everyone who knew them for any length of time. They came out at work, and NO ONE, was surprised. (Lucky for that person, they worked for an extremely trans-friendly company, which made their reticence to come out kind of pointless.)
So many of us have a bit of a juggling act between waiting for enough physical changes so that when we go fulltime we look at least a bit better than we tend to at the start, and waiting so long that the changes to our bodies out us before we have a chance to explain. This sometimes results in a desire to hide everything until one can do a Caitlyn Jenner type reveal "Ta da! I'm a woman now!"
My experience with others tells me this usually doesn't work out very well for all sorts of reasons. So as I stated above, a person in transition would be wise to be working on as many things as they can, in the background, before going fulltime, and they should have a plan for going fulltime. Because unless you are just one of the unfortunates who gets nothing from HRT - and there are folks like that - your body is probably going to eventually out you.
I'm not saying any of this to be "trannier than thou" - just practically speaking, I've watched people in transition sometimes hesitate and stutter-step out of fear. This fear is understandable, but unfortunately, unless a person stops HRT, their bodies will continue to change, often leaving them in very awkward situations. So once you start HRT, it is my opinion that you should have a plan for how to go fulltime, because there is a very good chance that for as long as you take those hormones, that's where your body is headed, whether you want it to go there or not for social reasons. If you do this, start HRT, form a plan, execute it as best you can, and for God's sake, don't stop it unless you realize this just isn't for you, and you REALLY stop it all.
If a person really feels they are a woman, if they simply have to transition for any number of reasons, I think they need to accept several things:
- Their lives are going to change, probably radically
- Some changes will be for the better, some for the worse
- They should expect to lose SOMETHING. Some of us lose it all save our lives. Some lose even that.
- It isn't always a nightmare - don't think that. But don't expect it to be easy - it will be the hardest thing you've done.
I think we each have to accept that early on, some amount of loss is going to happen, and that you are much better off, in my opinion, working actively to try to minimize this as best you can, cutting your losses as fast as you can, and moving forward through the horrible parts as quickly as you can. I'm not saying to do things that make this harder just to be fast, but that if losing something (a relationship, for example) because it will otherwise stop your transition, you should probably just accept these losses and move on, again, trying to minimize them without stopping your own progression.
I also think that trying to minimize the time you are in transition is generally a good idea. This doesn't mean doing everything as fast as is humanly possible, but rather that you should continue making forward progress at all times on SOME part of your transition. We are incredibly vulnerable while we are in transition. Dragging it out increases the odds that something will happen that stops you. This is very personal, but to the best of your ability, be quick about this.
Last edited by PaulaQ; 07-06-2015 at 03:49 PM.
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