How to tell my girl friend

[cheryl reeves]

when i came out to my so 15 yrs ago,she dragged me out of the closet kicking and screaming then burnt the closet down so i couldnt go back into it. but my wife has known some before we got married an was fine with the lingerie time to time but the whole story i kept to myself. that was a bad mistake which i found out later and wasted yrs of not full dressing.

[Jess6887]

I still haven't done it, I just don't know how too it's so hard to be telling her, Somebody said I'll stop for awhile but then it'll come back, well they were right I've been looking up sleepwear and other things I like in women's clothing and it's just so tempting to click buy, but I don't want to at the same time because I haven't told my girl friend yet, I'm just so stuck it's hard to be in the right moment

[Robin414]

I feel your pain Jess, I don't want to prescribe bad medicine but I think you need to weigh the outcomes...the pain of giving up dressing (or being in the closet to your GF), and the possibility of losing your GF. Don't forget the latter might not be that bad, there are LOTS of GG girls who are completely OK with it and losing this one might not be a bad thing...in the long run mind you...yah it would really suck short term and I get that 😢oh yah, the moment. ..might be a little messed up but for me...I was completely shit faced drunk and she was stone cold sober (needed a ride home from a bar with my buddies at the time) 😵

[karynspanties]

Well, you should have told her on the first date. Then you would not have this problem.

[Angela Marie]

As I noted on a previous thread; I told my GF, now wife, on our second or third date. I really could not have moved forward in our relationship without telling her. Thankfully she was ok about it. Although she does not doing me on my outings she is very understanding.

[Saikotsu]

I've come out to quite a number of important people in my life, and so far it has never gone poorly. While that is in part because of the disposition of the people I've come out to, part of it was my approach.

Be honest and direct. Be willing to answer any and all of her questions. Let her know that you have something important to tell her, but you're worried about how she'll react. Also, make it clear to her that the reason it took so long to tell her was because she's so important to you.

I literally came out of the closet with a close friend last night. I let her know that I have a big secret that I would like to tell her. I then took a couple of minutes to gather my courage and then I just said it. She was hardly surprised. She then asked if she could come to me for my opinion on various dresses and shoes.

If it helps, you should think of it like this: if you come out and she accepts you, then you've relieved yourself of that burden and shown your trust in her. If she rejects you, then it's better to split now before things get more complicated. Its possible that she might impose limitations she's comfortable with. You'll have to work those out with her. Regardless, it's best to get this out of the way early before things get more complicated. The longer you wait, the harder this will impact you both.

[Belle Cri]

I suppose I'm fortunate in that my wife has always known from the day she met me. The real shocker was "guess what, so does everyone else, or they suspect." I can't tell you how many times in past relationship's I've gotten "are you sure you're not gay?? The canapés are great." After awhile and a lot of work in learning how not to care, it just slides off, and now I just say 'would it taste better if I were?"

She'a always been accepting and I've always known that, hell she dressed drag queens when she was 16. That's not everyone though - so folks are right, be honest, but kind - and do NOT get defensive, put on hurt airs, or get snitty. Be supportive, honest, open and caring. If she can't deal with that, I honestly doubt the cut of your clothes will help that issue.

[fiona frisson]

I like that turn of phrase 'loves ALL of you' ..a good starting point for many .. thanks

[Tashee]

This worked for me. It was before my future Wife & me became serious. I just flat out told her, no BS as we had a great friendship which we built the relationship on & I based it on that explained how being together meant together, openness open lines of truthful conversation with no secrets & I let mine out in which she could have walked out & we been together now for 15 years. I did do my best to find a woman who was my type open minded, and built our relationship on being friends best friends putting sex a distant 2nd. Can't say that it will work for others my Wife is special. Thanks for reading.

[NoraTV]

My ex-wife had no problems with it, and she even encouraged me. Our relationship actually became better for a while. We split for other reasons, but Nora was not one of them. There comes a time when you simply have to discuss this with that one person about whom you care the most. When is that time? That's a highly individual question. I would never presume to tell one of my sisters when that is. You will know when the time is right.