Interestingly, I used to live in Corning, and I made that exact same trip enfemme to Rochester (except it was a group in Rochester called the "CD Network", I don't think they exist anymore.) On the way back at 2am, I hit a deer about 20 miles from home, right after where 390 merges into 17/81. Thank goodness it was just a dent in the car and I could keep driving, I was afraid I wouldn't make it and I was dressed en femme and would have to deal the cops and a tow truck and whatnot dressed up.
Hi Dee Ann,
Thanks for sharing this! You showed a wonderful amount of cool under what could have been a trying situation. Yes, I think we never stop learning from our CD experiences. I know I kinda feel like a teenage girl who is slowly learning what women do in that world outside....
I've had similar experiences with officers and yes, they have been courteous and professional.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
V_:
I'm sitting in my kitchen right now, up by Carder School, if you remember where that is. Yes, I think that group has disbanded. I haven't seen that name in print. The group that I've been hanging out with is the Rochester Grrlz. Up in Geneva is an umbrella organization called the Trans* Coalition. The sub-group is called Lords and Ladies of the Lakes. The Rochester group is about 1/3 folks who are somewhere along the transitioning path. The Geneva group seems to be the flip-side of that. Different purposes, also. The Rochester group is more of a social group. The Geneva group is set up more like a support group.
CC:
Yes, plus our learning has a fairly compressed time-line. While women have many years and sometimes decades to learn and figure this stuff out, our learning curve is pretty steep.
DeeAnn
Last edited by flatlander_48; 05-22-2015 at 01:37 PM.
Shame the CD Net group in Rochester folded, I suspected that would happen. I went there for, gosh, over a decade. I have been meaning to get to the Geneva group for many months, it is a fair distance and weather has been keeping me away. Some of the girls in the Geneva group know me (as Vickie the hair zapper), sadly I doubt anyone in Rochester knows me anymore.
If the police officer told you to make a U-turn, they you were following his legal instructions. No issue. Small town cops are usually fairly laid back. Dansville has less than 5,000 people. Sometimes running a red light or the equivalent (blinking red light) is a major event. I've roamed around upstate New York. The town I use to frequent had a population of less than 3,000, one blinking light and one road through it. Once my wife and I got off an intercity bus, asked a police officer for directions to the taxi stand. He told us, if we waited until he was done directing traffic, he would give us a ride to my grandparents' home three miles away. We did not look like criminals with evil intent. It was just the way it is in some sleepy towns. He gave us a ride to the front door and wished us a nice visit. The local weekly newspaper reported all serious crimes. It was the stuff Jay Leno use to read on his show......traffic citation for running a stop sign, lost dog, etc. If you drove drunk and was cited, well, it was almost front page news.
If you do decide to make a visit to Geneva, let me know. Perhaps we can meet up. Are you still on their mailing list? I believe Amy Hickey chairs the Trans* Coalition, but I haven't met her yet. Sharon, AKA Shari (and offhand I can't remember her last name) convenes the Lords and Ladies group.
There's a few in Rochester who have told me that they used to come out, then stopped for several years and have returned. Some of those folks could be from the time when you met with the other group. One thing is certain; life situations are always changing. People come and go as needed.
DeeAnn
Got stopped once, as the Officer gave me back my license (just a warning) she said I should pull my ponytail around front in the pic next time I get a new license!
I grew up in that area before 390 when 36 was the road of choice. Use to drive around Genesseo dressed up. Never had a problem. Mr. Morris was another happening area. But I never met another Cd. Probably because this was before the internet...
Genny B
Dani (Genny before Transition)
All Girl!
I'm on probation for something stupid I did. So I am subject to random visits from my probation officer.
Once he came and I had a lot of my womens clothes scattered all over the place. (I was sorting them out to get rid of stuff I don't like or use.) Any way. He came and saw it all but said nothing while he was at my house. However, a couple days later I had to go do a check in at his office. He brought up the clothes and asked what it was. I told him the truth. I like to crossdress. He asked why? I told him because it's comfortable and it relaxes me. He only said "well I won't make you stop of take the hat away from you. Everyone relaxes differently." And added that if he shows up and I am dressed. To answer the door promptly and don't go rushing to change. He said he doesn't care and has seen it all.
That was before my time as I moved here in '92. However, Rt. 17 was still 2 lane over towards the western end back then and we didn't have the bypass here in town.Originally Posted by Genny B
Before the internet? I think in Dog Years, that's like an eon...
DeeAnn
Last edited by flatlander_48; 05-22-2015 at 10:06 PM.
DeeAnn, I am on their list. I hope to make the Geneva group next month, though I may go drab if it is really hot by then.
I remember going to the Rochester and Buffalo groups all the time when I was in college. Really cut my teeth going out and such dressed back then. In many ways, I was more adventurous about going out and driving around dressed back then. Of course, back then, gas was cheap (an all time record low factoring in inflation), and I had plenty of free time to do it. I still occasionally pop in the Buffalo group if I am up there for my own electrolysis work.
So, Flatlander_48, do you consider your experience a good one or a bad one? Do you feel mistreated? To me, it sounds like they treated you with a good deal of respect. He could have called you 'Miss' or something and not mentioned the crossdressing, I suppose.
No, I would think this event was about as benign as you can get. Officers are programmed to respond to aggression. If there isn't any, the chances are much better that things will stay in a much more low key state. I certainly wasn't going to give him an excuse to do something silly. To law enforcement officers, I think we automatically raise a bit of suspicion when we appear dressed. Externally, we are disguising our gender. It begs the question "What else is not quite right?".
Anyway, I recounted the story mostly for the purposes of putting up another data point. In similar situations, others have just gone into hyperdrive in terms of their reaction. The thing is, as I said, when you're stopped usually you can't make things better but you can easily make them a whole lot worse...
DeeAnn
I believe coming out makes a difference. It has for me. As I have told my boss I no longer care who knows. I was recently pulled over for a taillight out while dressed the officer was polite, professional and best of all he didn’t give me a ticket. It would have just been a fix it ticket, still it is a hassle/ waste of time to get it signed off. Attitude goes a long way no matter what situation you are facing.
It always seems safer living in a small town, sometimes too safe, as you have experienced.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
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