Not "fake" really, but sometime "faking it" when drab.
Not "fake" really, but sometime "faking it" when drab.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Fake? Sure. It's the underlying feeling I have whenever I'm dressed as a guy and not doing anything. It just feels like I'm in the wrong clothes. No horrific gender dysphoria going on, just the same feeling you'd have if you were wearing a bathing suit to a formal affair, while everyone else in the room is wearing a tuxedo.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I really do not try to thonk deeply, it only leads to ulcers.
Being a dresser is not something to think deeply about especially if you have friends for encouragement.
That is a big plus.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Hey all, thanks for this conversation! I think each of you took a separate scentence in my stream of conciousness and ran with it!
Just to clarify my end, as I'm thinking about it, I think the 'fake' I was thinking about was as relates to myself - removing a lot of boundaries suddendly can leave 'too' much freedom, perhaps. It leaves you thinking, 'wow, this is great!', but then, that little doubt maybe creeps in in the dark - oh, am I just overcompensating years of mild represion now? One day I'm going to wake up and realize I'm really like 99.5% male after all? - the horror!
I'm feeling like I was a little too comfortable not thinking much about it either way for too long, but now I'm feeling like oh, "you can take back my gender spectrum when you pry it from my cold dead fingers." And now I'm trying to reconcile those two positions. Like how do you go from feeling like something like gender that most people think they have 100% figured out and think it's pretty static, how can I sort of do like a 180 (or a 90 or whatever), and immediately feel authentic with myself about it?
I guess the thing is, it maybe doesn't actually 'feel' like a 180 so much, but it sure 'looks' like a 180, and I'm as caught up by the look as anyone, and it makes you question sometimes if the 'looks' is outpacing the 'feelings'. For 20 years the girl wardrobe fit in a shoebox, now it's needing it's own closet space. From the outside looking in, "somethin's goin' on". Maybe all the pink fog tales have me feeling a little cautious with myself, and that's no bad thing, the site has been very helpful in understanding it with my SO, etc. - somethings are easier taken at a pace less than headlong =)
I don't think it's causing me too much heartache...I've just come out of this narrow canyon, and I'm looking out on this vast plane, and I'm like, holy crap, there's a lot of open space out there! Thanks y'all for helping explore it...Summer
