Feeling down.

[Missy_am_I]

It has been a long time since posting. I have come to the realization that I am trans. This wasnt a happy realization though. I am sure at some point in my life I will actually transistion but not sure when. It has been forever since I have crossdressed because it just brings me down doing all the steps to hide everything masculine about my face and body. I wish I didn't have to. I started seeing a therapist that specializes in the transgender community. She ended our relationship after only 6 weeks because she broke down crying and told me she was suicidal. Before the next appointment she sent me a letter saying that she didnt want to work together. She didn't even apologize for being unprofessional or anything... ashamed I think. I have been looking around for another but not having much luck. I have a great wife who is very supportive and two beautifully cool boys but no friends. I tried to reach out to another trans girl today. Maybe to get a cup of coffee and chat. She told me that since I was pre transition she couldnt "take another duckling under her wing".... I just wanted a friend. I know this is a pretty bummer post but dont worry, not suicidal or anything like that. Just haveing a rough go at it. Thanks for giving me a chance to vent a little.

[ErikaS]

Hello I feel for you and want to do whatever but we all are here to hear you vent.. its good to vent it sometimes cures frustration and sometimes depression. I am almost in the same boat as you but have two girls away at college. I think because i live in Madison Wi where the community is supportive and there are other girls who I can reach out to its hard. I would say keep the faith or just keep moving up ward.

Erika.

[Dana44]

Shucks, I understand you. I was looking for some friends also. Only funky dating sites provide that. I'm in central Texas, you are in Michigan. Others are all over the world it seems. so posting here seems good. I would take care and know that some support is here for that. I think many of us would like to have friends. I would try to find others, perhaps the dating site may have a couple that only wants friends instead of dating. Perhaps try to go to some trans functions. I see them going on all over the place. But it seems to me that I have to travel to them.

[Persephone]

Hi!

We may not be in your geographic corner of the world but you are a member of this community.

Wow! I've had a lot of strange experiences, but never had a therapist tell me that she was too suicidal to continue our sessions! That is, hopefully, pretty rare!

If you are uncomfortable with public discussion, perhaps single out one or two members that you feel comfortable with and PM (Private Message) them.

Hugs,
Persephone

[charlenesomeone]

Missy vent all you want. That Therapist, wow, definitely something you don't see everyday.
Keep trying to get together, and like Persephone, do online with PM.

[LucyNewport]

Stay strong hon! For yourself and for your family too. Definitely keep trying to find another therapist. Talking about the issue is the best way to see it clearly for what it is.

Unfortunately not all fellow travelers in trans land are going to friendly or approachable. You should try again regardless. There may be a local meetup or some other type of event? I think the gang here is pretty cool too if you need to vent. Just know that you are not alone in this mixed up world!

Lucy

[Rachelakld]

Good vent, and hopefully you will know, that like your ex-therapist (and my father and a few others in my genetic line), some people have it way worse than we do.
While our lives are "different", that while we may have up and down like most other people, there are worse "bad" ways of being.
Hope you find a good listener soon to share with.

[Leah Lynn]

Missy, most of us have let off a bit of steam here. Then many will let you know that it's all right. I know that there are quite a few girls in Michigan, so I'm sure you'll find someone or a group to hook up with. It does wonders for the sanity to go shopping, out to dinner, for coffee or just about anything with another person like ourselves. Perhaps find a few for a girls' night out. I think I'd have gone mad long ago, if I'd not been asked to join the group I'm in.

Hopefully some of the other Michigan girls will send you an invitation. Hang in there, we're all onthe same side.

Hugs,

Leah

[donnalee]

Wow, another reason not to see a therapist!
It seems like you have a great deal going for you and a loving family is probably the best of that; if you doubt this, read a post or thread from someone in DADT or worse.
Finding a local TG friend may take awhile; in the meantime, can you consider us forum members as such; although we have a few overjudgemental members, most of us are delighted to see someone who can integrate this issue into their life and are glad to offer what help we can.`

[PretzelGirl]

Donna Lee, saying another reason to not see a therapist sends a message I don't agree with. First, as sad and unfortunate as this occurrence is, it is more than one in a million and it would be horrible to hold all therapists to this outcome. But also, therapists have been very key in helping many of us. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if many of us attribute being "talked down from the ledge" or actually pulling the trigger on transitioning based on our therapy.

[Leah Lynn]

You are so right, Sue. My therapist has pushed me back on track a couple times. I don't know where I'd be without her. It took several tries, but I finally hooked up with the best thing to happen to me. Keep looking, you can find a good one.

Hugs,

Leah

[Robin414]

Wow, don't let a bogus therapist get you down, get another therapist, mine is a lesbian herself and although doesn't have any magic advice is very supportive! I'm in the same boat as many of us are
..the isolation really sucks...as for the effort needed to be who you really are though, cheer up. For starters your photo is incredible, take heart in that. ..it might not be you all the time but it's what you CAN be!

[Eringirl]

I totally agree....your experience with your therapist is an anomaly (in that she herself needed help!). Mine has literally been a life saver. And she always manages to cut through the crap, and not let me get away with telling her things that I think she wants to hear. In that way, we get to a truthful discussion and a solid realization that this is the one and only path for me. I go forward with total confidence I made the right choice. Don't get me wrong....I sometimes still get WTF moments, but when I look in the mirror as Erin, they dissipate immediately. And, where I am, I need two letters from therapists for SRS and even though that is down the road, I have them now, so check off that box!! So keep looking.....

I totally get the isolation part as I am not out to my friends or work just yet (coming soon though), so going out is always on my own (except for the times when my oldest daughter comes to visit, then I "get my girl on" !! and we have a great time )

You may want to see if there is a TG support group nearby??? I just found one in my city, met with one of the organizers last month to get more info, and I will be going to my first event next month. I am hoping I will be able to get some comfort there. But, ya, that is tough. But don't give up. I am sure you will start to develop some friendships as you go along your journey. You are too adorable not too!!

And, continue to vent here. You have a lot of support and we are here for each other.

be well.

Erin

[Rachel Smith]

Please keep looking for a new therapist. All 3 of mine were invaluable to me. As has been said before we have all vented here. It's good for the soul. Just don't let it overwhelm you, keep striving for what you need and soon the good days will out number the bad by far.

Hugs
Rachel

[Eryn]

Missy, sometimes the road is rough, but it can and will smooth out.

It sounds like that therapist did you a favor by bowing out. Seek out another one and see if she better meets your needs.

As far as the "duckling" comment, sometimes a person is just overwhelmed and doesn't want to further complicate their lives. Don't mark her off the list forever. Move on and find another social contact.

Be happy that your family situation is so good. Making new social connections will happen if you put some effort into it and give it time to come to fruition.

[Beth-Lock]

Even trans girls get the blues.

[Jean 103]

Sorry to hear about your experience with your therapist. They are people too, some on this site have a little more insight into this than they let on. Everyone is different, it is not easy to find new friends, as you are not looking to date, I think the best place to meet someone would be at one of the gatherings, there seems to be a lot of groups on the east coast from the posts on this site, I would also suggest attending one of the events like Diva Las Vegas in your area. I know it is like a big party, that’s not why I attended. My goal was to meet and talk to other girls. This I was able to do form all over the spectrum, from this was there first time out to she had transitioned ten years ago. I know I’m different, being able to talk to girls one on one helped. The one girl I mentioned that had transitioned was nice enough to spend an afternoon with me. Last continue to post to this site, if nothing else you may find someone you can correspond with.
Love Jean

At this point in my life I don’t know what I am and I don’t care, I’m just having too much fun.

[BillieAnneJean]

Missy,
There are LOTS of gals in Michigan.

Check out our website at crossdressersmichigan.com

Hugs!
Billie