The Assessment

[TessInJxn]

I'm in the middle of a multi-session assessment for my counselor to determine if I fit the bill, so-to-speak, for a transition. This is the second counselor whom I've seen (the first didn't really have any experience in this, and didn't feel comfortable making a call).

I only post to share, but do any of you have any notes or suggestions? I'm excited, and terrified, all at the same time. It's getting very real. I, obviously, know what the answer will (or should) be. But, I've never had an official/professional diagnosis.

Feeling nervous,

Tess

[VanTG]

I think many people have gone through that experience as well. Feeling nervous is a good thing I might say, it means that you are deeply involved in the process and know its the right thing.

My suggestion is to be honest with them and don't be satisfied until you get the diagnosis your looking for.

[Donnagirl]

Having not long ago been through a similar thing, be honest, be open.... You may (will) be asked things you may not want to answer, secrets you may have been keeping from yourself, those are the hardest... Don't try to second guess the answers, try to think what the right answer is... There is no right or wrong...
I guess I went in not really wanting the diagnosis I received, but deep down I knew it was correct...
Good luck....

[PaulaQ]

Honey, you can talk to all the counselors in the world, and none of them know for sure whether or not you should transition. You will have to figure this out on your own, and assert who you are. The most they can do is ask you questions that force you to confront this.

I wanted a diagnosis too. The first one I got was "genderqueer," which is just so mindbogglingly wrong as to be hilarious. I'm really binary. It sucked to be told that - it didn't fit at all. Look, it would be nice to have a permission slip to transition, but the reality is in the U.S. that a therapist will simply ascertain you can give informed consent, and then do what you ask.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Right. I was "diagnosed" twice and i was relieved to find that i was a "just a crossdresser".. One idiot therapist brought in ballgowns and dresses for me to touch

Your therapy should be about helping you understand the way you think and to constructively deal with the way you cope and self talk.
Sometimes all a therapist does is say "how does that make you feel" and then tries to evaluate how you are thinking about things based on your answer

It is not about getting a diagnosis or assessment. It's especially not about permission.
If you are transsexual, you tell them you are transsexual.

Then you deal with what that means to you and you take actions that improve your quality of life.

Of course, all easier said than done but if you are going to proceed with changes in your life its going to be all you and the therapist role is to support you.

[Dianne S]

I don't believe there's any such thing as a "diagnosis" of being transsexual. It's up to you to figure it out for yourself.

The best you can do is to be honest with your counselor and especially with yourself.

When I first started down this road, I desperately wanted someone to tell me "yes, you're TS" because I wanted to know I was making the right decision. Unfortunately, of the four counselors I saw, every one of them said "what do you think and how do you really feel?". And eventually I did figure it out.

[Megan G]

Tess,

As the other girls have already pointed out this is all you, Only you can decide if you are going to transition or not.

I have been seeing my therapist for years now (who is great BTW) and i have yet to be given an official diagnosis and not once has she said "your transsexual and need to transition". Maybe somewhere in her files a piece of paper does exist with a diagnosis but in all honesty the only time I am going to care is when it comes time to get approval letters for SRS. Since day one she had done nothing but make me ask myself the hard questions causing lots of self reflection and soul searching and while I was doing that it was me that gave myself the official diagnosis and sent me down the road of transition.

The therapists job should be nothing more than allowing you to come to your own conclusions and help support you along the way. Ruling out any co morbidity that you may have is also something that they may do when you are searching for answers within yourself.

Megan

[I Am Paula]

A few years ago I so wanted someone to tell me what was wrong with me. It would have been so easy to have a diagnosis, so I could tell people. Turns out, no one would give me one. I did come to grips with being trans, and eventually decided any form of diagnosis would have just been some other persons opinion.
Be who you are. Label, or don't, yourself anything you want. Be happy in knowing you are not sick, and you didn't do anything to influence who you are.
I'm not anti-therapy, just anti third party diagnosis.

[Eringirl]

My first meeting with my therapist was 17 years ago. I just wanted to understand what I was feeling and why I wasn't happy. It was through those discussions that we both came to the conclusion that I had GID (that's what it was called back in the day). For several reasons, I decided to fight it and not transition. Fast forward to last year when I was getting totally overwhelmed and chatting with the same therapist, I came to the realization that it was my time. Then, working with a psychologist that specializes in GD, I affirmed to myself that it was my time and she concurred, and I have my letters from both. It was not as much about someone else telling me, it was more around self realization and understanding and accepting who I was and what I had to do to not just survive but thrive. But that is just my story. Be honest with yourself and with a therapist. They can only work with the information provided to help you figure this out. In the end, you are the one doing all the work, not them. You are the one that must decide what you need to do to move forward and live your true life, out loud.

[Barbara Black]

I have no experience with any of this, but happily it seems that the doctors or therapists mostly seem to agree that you have to make the decisions, not them. One point for them!!

[becky77]

Not sure I ever felt excited about transition lol.

No one can tell you to transition, you have to make that decision yourself. Hopefully after some decent real life experience, I think that's a better tell than a therapists diagnosis.

[TessInJxn]

Thanks to all for your insight. It is a crazy process. So much of what many of you said resonates with me in so many ways. I'm going down my own road, and we'll see where that leads!

[Teresa]

Tess,
I'm just hoping to get to the heart of feelings I have that never go away, general counselling didn't touch some of them, I desperately want to feel at ease inside, am I depressed because of my dressing problem or am I depressed anyway ? My brain is pulling me in different directions all I want is some help to get a clearer picture. All I know is I was born with gender issues and and my early sexual experience is still haunting me !

[Badtranny]

There's only one way to know.

Transition.

The process will either feel right or it won't. If it does, then you will keep pushing and endure the pain. If it doesn't you will stop and realize that regardless of how you feel, the pain just wasn't worth it.

...discuss.

[jules]

My opinion dont start if your unsure.
if your sure start. If it dose not feel right when you start !stop! There is nothing that says you have to follow through.
Everybodys journey is different. You will know your end game when you get to it.
Melissa nailed it on the head with her response in my opinion.

Julie summers