Isha I am blown away by your success with this, particularly in a military atmosphere where tradition generally trumps logic. You have blazed a trail here that would be difficult for others to top and your reward will be seeing those following the path you and the others have forged. Congratulations are in order, as well as 3 cheers!
ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!
"The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)
That is so awesome! Especially as military.. that is so huge!
I'm super-happy that they are willing to 'let' you be yourself. <tinysnark>
/salute "Yes M'am!!"
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
Wowee, that is amazing, incredible. You are my hero (heroine)
Although your current visions might be grounded in reality,
there are no shortcuts to get from here to there.
Face the facts and realize that you still may have to manifest this
dream the old-fashioned way: by creating a concrete plan,
putting in the hard work and maintaining an
unwavering determination to make it happen.
Wow, congratulations Isha!
Reine
Congrats Isha, I'm so happy for you!! Hugs Jaymee
I enjoy being a boy, being a GIRL like me!!!
Wow! Your news actually brought tears to my eyes. What you have done is truly amazing and the response from the military is a welcome surprise (to me at least). One reason in particular I like following your story is how you alternate your gender presentation at your workplace. From other things I have read on this forum, that seems to be rare.
Isha,Originally Posted by Isha
WRT to the uniform. While I left that open as a potential, it will be some time before I can truly exercise that option. You see, if I dress as a woman in a service uniform, I have to adhere to all the regulations associated with that and make-up has to be very minimal (almost to point of non-existent). So until the beard is a bit thinner (down to the short strokes but still very time consuming) I still have to use way too much foundation. Not to mention it takes a lot of make-up to make this ugly mug somewhat pretty and even then it is a stretch. So I think I will exercise the civilian dress days first and revisit in a year when the goatee zone on my face is not as dark.
Hugs
Isha
Firstly, well done. Many of us perceive the military, of any country, as being slow to change. You clearly know how to get things done.
Secondly, I'd be willing to speculate that I'm not the only one on here who would LOVE to see a piccy of Isha in dress uniform, all in due time of course.
Good luck. You're blazing a trail for others.
Hi all,
This week has been a bit of a busy week for me regarding workplace accommodation as I spent a good portion of it discussing the education piece with my new chain of command. While many in the building I will be working in know about me and some have met me, others have not. We agreed that prior to dressing for the first time at work, an education session needs to occur to inform everyone that it will be happening and answer questions and concerns. So we "war gammed" several strategies on how to approach this and decided on individual section sessions lead by the section heads (LCol level) to inform them a transgender person (no names released) will be posted to the unit and provide them with a few days to think of any questions they might have (that occurred yesterday). The director (Col level) will be holding a town hall session on Tuesday to present the subject again this time releasing my name to all and responding to questions along with the desk officer for the TG policy. In my discussions with the Colonel he indicated that while he is willing to entertain questions and respond to concerns (in the framework we discussed) his overriding message will be "You may not agree with it, like or condone it but you do have to accept it will happen. If you cannot be civil and professional in your dealings with Major G, then you can look for a new career outside of the military" . . . You have no idea how much I smiled internally when I heard those words as the level of support has been exemplary
We discussed questions which may pop up and he wanted my take on these as I would not be present at the town hall (Did not want this to turn into a "You know him as Marcel but here she is . . . Marcelle" session). Many of the questions were typical "sexual orientation vs. gender identity" or use of gender appropriate pronouns and tiles (ma'am vice sir). However one question threw me for a loop in that he asked me to better help him explain the potential question "If you feel female some days and male others, how do you know?" He was not being facetious but figured that many might have a hard time wrapping their mind around the fluidity of gender identity in this case. I thought about it and decided to shoot with an analogy I saw in a YouTube video in which a TG person explains a similar question. I asked the Colonel which was his dominant hand, to which he replied he was right handed. I then asked him to write his name with his left hand, which he did. After he finished, I asked him how that felt to which he replied "awkward". I then asked him how long it took him to figure that out. My point to him was that when I wake up on a given day, I am either male or female, I don't control the feeling nor do I make advance plans like "I think next week I am going to dress up as a woman on Wednesday", I just know it upon waking. If I decide to stay male when I feel female, it is as he said "awkward" like using my non-dominant hand to write. However, if I dress up female when I a feel female it is like writing with my dominant hand and I feel "normal". He did not fully understand the subtle nuances but I think it would help him explain it to others in a way they might be able to appreciate.
Other aspects of workplace accommodation were discussed. Particularly . . . If I can wake up feeling female on a given day why I am I only asking for accommodation one day a week rather than open ended accommodation based on how I feel on a given day? I responded that I was not sure how this would be accepted and figured Friday was a safe day given that it was civilian attire and uniforms would not be involved. The Colonel indicated that he would prefer to keep it open ended and the uniform issue could be broached and resolved by providing our supply system with a letter indicating I could draw both male and female service uniforms. In the interim, if I woke up feeling female on a day other than Friday, I was granted authority to just wear civilian attire that day until I draw gender appropriate uniforms.
The final aspect I requested was to have the latitude to grow my hair out. Now I was not sure if this was a bridge too far as I would be contravening dress policy when presenting male (men must have short hair). I did however point out that a precedence of sorts was set when the military allowed aboriginal men to grow out their hair for purpose of cultural identity so long as it is worn in a single braid down the back. The Colonel saw this as a reasonable request and will be pursuing this accommodation with higher chain of command and figures it will most likely just be an administrative blessing requirement. So I may soon be able to begin growing my natural hair out.
So things are continuing forward and should be in place when I start work at the new unit next month.
Hugs
Isha
Isha you are the consummate professional representative for trans rights in many ways, if we had commendations to give out im sure you would receive them,
soo happy things are going in a favorable direction for you, enjoy it you earned this....
....Mykell
i dressed like a girl and i liked it!
Isha
Im amazed that an organisation such as the military is so tolerant and flexible I couldnt see it happening in the British military.
Amazing news; congrats Isha!
When the answers escape us when we start to fade
Remember who loved you and the ones who have stayed
Cause my body will fail, but my soul will go on
So don't you get lonely I'm right where you are
Damn girl, youre progressing this well... Wish I could say the same.
Call me Donna, please
Seriously good progress, Awesome Isha...
Poster Girl!:
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
I found it interesting your CO will allow you to dress in civilian attire if you feel the need to until you get female uniforms. Since you've told us you don't want to go the uniform route until you can comply with make up policy, is that an accommodation you think you might use? If you do, how long do you think he'll let things slide?
Bridget
WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wear nice lingerie life it too short not to.
I have to say Isha, I am impressed with your leaders and your own leadership. This is an astounding improvement for you and others in your ranks. I think your sincerity about wishing to keep it relegated to Friday for Civilian Attire Day was more than a reasonable personal sacrifice on your part but I am astounded that you CO had offered so much more. Saying that I am "impressed" about the sensitivity and acceptance is an understatement.
Not to put you in the spotlight but, I think you just may end up on the international stage for improvements to TG rights in the CAF and militarized everywhere.
Wow...just...WOW!
Congrats,
-E
**Just trying to happily be me.**
Hugs!
-E
Isha, you rock.
I go out there being cross/ambiguous/confusing, yet I'm humbled by the way you are working these things out in the MILITARY.
You GO girl!. I have SO much respect for you!!
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
I hardly know what to say, except "Wow!". You are awesome, Isha. I believe the way you are handling it all is one reason it's going so well. Of course, it helps that you have lots of support from the organization and all, too.
Congratulations Isha!! That is really great news! I wish you the best.
Congratulations Isha!! That is really great news! I wish you the best.
Amazing achievement.
Isha, it must be very gratifying to receive that level of support from director of your new unit, I think it shows that you have worked openly and honestly with the command structure, using good logic and not relying on emotional approaches.
Three Cheers!!! for Isha!
Hugs, Bria
Wow again Isha, congratulations!
Tell me ... the advances you are making in your unit/division/brigade (don't know how it is divided). Will this now be adopted by the entire Canadian Armed Forces in all divisions? How does that work?
Reine
Hi all,
Thanks much for your kind comments and support as I kick this down the field to completion.
Hi Shirley Anne,
While I cannot speak for how the British Army would deal with a gender fluid individual, I do know that there are trans women serving in the British Army as there is policy governing TG rights in your Armed Forces.
Hi Bridget,
Funny thing. The other day I met a GG friend for lunch who is also a Lieutenant-Colonel and very big on enforcing dress policy. I applied as minimalistic make-up as I could so as to enhance a female presentation without appearing overdone. She indicated that I was within dress regulation when it comes to make-up and should not worry. So I guess uniform is not beyond the scope of probabilities.
Hi there,
Yes I am very fortunate to have the support of both my chain of command and several work colleagues as I continue through the process . . . it does make it easier.
Hi Reine,
The Canadian military has had TG policy in place since the early 90s and as such many brave trans women and men have travelled this road long before me and have definitely helped paved the way when it comes to what accommodations can be put in place. Where the Canadian military did not have policy was for those of us who are "gender fluid" and wish to be able to present both genders. I am the first to challenge the policy in that way. As it stands I have become an accidental activist and the TG policy is being rewritten to take into account people like me. This will be reflected in the next policy release this year.
Hugs
Isha
Not necessarily. In the US, the military was ahead of the country in terms of racial integration, for example.
http://www.defense.gov/home/features...n_timeline.pdf
DeeAnn
So this will be applicable to all Canadian Armed forces (land, sea & air), from one end of the country to the other, or will this be a policy release for your particular unit/division?
Reine
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