Kill the sick dog, meaning ME

[Josephine]

I went to my favorite Chinese restaurant today. Got my food from the buffet, and went and sat down. Was eating my food, and noticed this really big marine. He looked like he just got back from the war. He was looking right at me. Soon he said "Some people in this country are really sick and should be killed". His wife was sitting there next to him and asks "How could you do that?" He replies while staring at me, me not looking at him. "Just take it out in the country and shoot it like a sick dog." I think that her question was not answered the way she hoped. as she seemed totally embarrassed. I got up to leave and glanced at him. He was looking straight ahead with the face of a mad bull. He was at least 6"2" around 225 pounds of all muscle. I think he could have bitten my head off with one bite. I have been on hormones for 9 months now, living full time female for almost two years. SRS is 6 months away. I have never felt so vulnerable and scared in all my life. However, the only way for people like him to get me to stop my transition is to kill me. If I can't complete myself, I would rather be dead anyway. I had electrolysis around my lips today (almost finished with treatment, Yay!) so I didn't look so good today, being a little swelled up with bee stings. I usually have no problem passing, but not so much today. Should have stayed home as my conscious told me before I left for the restaurant. Can anyone relate? How did you handle your emotions and fear?

[Jill_cd]

Josephine, I'm sorry about what happened. You have to live your life the way you want to live it. You should not hide at home for fear of 'offending' someone.

[Launa]

Fear can strike me different ways at different times. Lately I look at most situations and say to myself if the worst outcome for me is death then let it happen. If some piece of shit can beat me in a fight and kill me then he'll be in jail for a very long time. That's their punishment if that's the final outcome but usually I'm in a position to handle myself as I'm not on hormones and still workout etc. Remember its easy to call names to people 99% of the time they won't act while they beak off like that.

[Josephine]

Hi Launa, I agree with most of what you are saying. However. I am a 5'8", 135 pound weakling. Now that I have found myself, I could never go back to being the miserable unhappy male that I tried but failed to be.

[Dawn cd]

Not to excuse his speech which was hateful and possibly criminal, but some people come back from war with their heads really screwed up, violent and suicidal. I'm sorry you had to be on the receiving end.

[arbon]

It is a reflection of the type of person he is, and has nothing really to do with you. Some are sicker than others.

[Robin414]

Tell the mother fi g piece of sht that you were treated for testicular cancer and it's air borne...want some, no seiously!

[Launa]

Hi Launa, I agree with most of what you are saying. However. I am a 5'8", 135 pound weakling. Now that I have found myself, I could never go back to being the miserable unhappy male that I tried but failed to be.

Don't get me wrong I get scared like anybody else. Just because you're 135 lb woman doesn't mean you're weak compared to this redneck. Remember he has fears too and one of them is the consequences for his actions if he became physically abusive. If we lived closer I would teach you some Escrima. A good practitioner can level the playing field against strength. Back to what happened this guy has got a lot to learn and his little world is getting smaller for him. We will survive and they can go hide in their caves. More people like us than don't like us.

[Leah Lynn]

Sounds like a real jerk. There will always be haters, and we can't spend the rest of our lives hiding from them. We have every right to go about our lives, just like everyone else.

Tomorrow is another day. Hopefully it will be a good one.

Hugs,

Leah

[lingerieLiz]

That Marine is going to have a real hard time when he finds out that the guy next to him in the barracks is gay and maybe tougher than him. Once knew a guy that tried rolling gays. His big mistake was when he tried it the gay guy was a fighter and beat the daylights out of him. Took him several weeks to fully recover and a heap of embarrassment. We didn't let him forget it.

[Victoria Demeanor]

Hi Josephine,
I served for 23 years and I like to believe that I stood the line to protect your liberties and rights to be happy as I believe the majority of those who serve do. I have met guys like the one you encountered. They are small minded little boys inside that are so insecure in there own masculinity that they have to pick on what they perceive as weak just to make them self feel big. honestly they are an embarrassment to the military and to society in general and not worthy of your time.
You my dear are the brave one. you have stood up to nature and said you made a mistake and I am going to correct it. You are forging your path to happiness against what society has thrown at you and stood tall. you deserve to be respected for your courage and I for one salute you.
Girl, forget him, he's a miserable little twit that will live a miserable little life and probably didn't get anything from his wife that night.
I hope all goes well as you move along your path and you reach the joy and happiness you deserve.

Victoria D

[Ann Louise]

Gosh no honey, I don't think you're off base at all to be scared. This really embodies a very common danger we all have the possibility of confronting, almost any time, anywhere. The fact that he was military doesn't seem to be as crucial as it is that he was a physically mature, aggressive and mouthy transphobe. There are many of these dudes around, and why discretion and tactical retreat are good skills to keep current. Just thinking out the reality of it...

[Badtranny]

What can you do?

This is our lot. We are openly hated and in most places we have zero legal protections. I live in the great state of California so it's a lil bit better, but some of you girls are literally surrounded by wolves.

Transition is a hell of a thing.

[cheryl reeves]

im confused here,just cause your transitioning,you seem to forget how to deal with these dirtbags..along time ago 28 yrs ago i weighed 135 and could pickup 3-400 lbs and i looked scrawny..when i went to basic i had a dirtbag in my unit that learned to be very afraid of me,tried a g.i. shower on me with 40 other guys and they found that 135 lb weakling was strong and mean as hell...even now at 49 i still do not look like much for i hide my strengh real well...you need to relearn a few things and self defense is one of em.

[Badtranny]

...you need to relearn a few things and self defense is one of em.

LOL

way to go bro.

She wasn't attacked, she was mocked. What would you have her do? Get in this dudes face? Why? To defend her manhood?

Let me tell you a little secret about HRT bruh, it really saps your strength. I am only a fraction as strong as I once was, ...but I'm a whole hell of a lot prettier.

Self defense is about protecting yourself from an attack is it not? She didn't tell a story about being attacked, she told a story about being openly mocked and enduring a hostile environment. That's the world us full-timers live in. Are we supposed to be punching dudes in the face whenever they sneer at us or call us names? Sorry but I wasn't that aggressive as a dude, and I'm definitely not gonna be picking fights with dudes who are clearly bigger and stronger now that I'm much smaller and weaker.

[stefan37]

im confused here,just cause your transitioning,you seem to forget how to deal with these dirtbags..along time ago 28 yrs ago i weighed 135 and could pickup 3-400 lbs and i looked scrawny..when i went to basic i had a dirtbag in my unit that learned to be very afraid of me,tried a g.i. shower on me with 40 other guys and they found that 135 lb weakling was strong and mean as hell...even now at 49 i still do not look like much for i hide my strengh real well...you need to relearn a few things and self defense is one of em.

This comment is the difference between a person that is says they are TS and not transitioning and one that is TS and transitioning. Women do not pick fights with men. Living your life as a full time women is a process to integrate as a female. The older you are when you start the process the more challenging it is to be accepted as female.

As Melissa said Hrt reduces muscle mass. A female 135 lb person has no where near the strength of a135 lb male.
I am 5'10 185. Full time close to 2 year's and I would have done exactly like the OP did. Verbal confrontation with a large large testosterone pumping hostile ex marine would not have ended well.

Josephine, you did the right thing by avoiding confrontation. Early transition is challenging and it will take many years to erase or hide the male traits we developed. If you want to succeed integrating your life as a female. When you feel uncomfortable or fearful going out is when you need to push through that and go out. This develops your confidence and shows society that you are what you are.

[kimdl93]

This individual has serious problems....probably not limited to his intolerance for transgendered people. Sadly, he really didn't understand the freedoms he thought he was defending and probably never will.

I will cut him just this much slack. It could be that he is suffering from PTSD. The experience of combat and prolonged deployments have taken a toll on thousands of GIs. If that is so, I hope he gets the help he needs.

[ErikaS]

As a former Marine I am sick and tired of these people who are so just out of it. We need to stand up and get in there face and do the right thing not just for us but for the whole world to see. I have seen and been around these small he man women haters for a long time and have gotten in the face of many of these and said to stop or else. I am very proud of you Josephine you are showing a far greater strength than he will ever have. keep taking the hill Girl we are behind you all the way.

We got your 6 !

Erika

[Emma Beth]

If he had just gotten back, then he may be dealing with a lot more than what it looks like on the surface.

He could have been carrying wounds that you can not see, such as PTSD. People react in different ways to this.

He could also be dealing with the fact that he may be getting out of the Marines soon as well. From personal experience, it is very nerve wracking to go through discharge. You face re-acclimating to civilian life, which is very different from life in the military and it can be very scary.

Now don't get me wrong; what he obviously did is not acceptable, and I do not condone his behavior in any way. I'm just trying to add a different perspective of understanding. Our service men and women that are dealing with PTSD is a huge problem that all of us need to be aware of.

Josephine, I fully agree with the other girls in that you handled yourself wonderfully.

If it were me in your shoes; I most likely would have approached this man (with caution of course), and thanked him for his service. That most likely, in my case, would have led to a brief conversation about his life in the military and possibly swapping "war" stories. But that would just be me.

[Michelle.M]

im confused here,just cause your transitioning,you seem to forget how to deal with these dirtbags..

Hardly. But the way I dealt with these fine examples of humanity as a man was far different than how I am compelled to do so as a woman. As Misty says, the loss of body strength changes the power dynamic in ways you obviously can't imagine. That changes the tactical approach as well.

There's a word to describe trans women who deal with this sort of thing in the way you suggest - statistic. If Josephine follows your suggestion then she might end up in a position where I could be reading her name at the TDOR memorial service in November. Let's not promote this sort of dumbassery, OK?

[Josephine]

There was no way I was going to try to talk with this man, I did not want to give him a reason for hitting me, or start a real confrontation. Since I started my hrt treatment, not only has my physical strength diminished to less than half of what it was, my aggressive attitude (which was not much anyway) has mostly disappeared. I have noticed that the responses to my post vary between the ones that are on hrt and those that are not. The people here that are not on hrt are much more aggressive than those that are, with some exceptions. My testosterone level is at less than 5 points, so it does not drive my thinking anymore, thankfully. There is nothing easy about transition, and this is just a part of what we have to face. Fortunately, 99 out of a 100 people are either friendly, curious, or they just don't care. I do feel sorry and sad for him if it is PTSD, and I do hope he gets the help he needs before he harms himself or someone else.

[Laura912]

Well stated Josephene.

[Barbara Black]

When it comes down to it, he has to make changes of his own, just as you are making changes. Or as said above, he will end up paying for his ignorant attitude and any stupid reactions he makes in society. You were right to be scared, but he doesn't have the right to be stupid.

[Launa]

Josephine, don't get me wrong when I talk about self defence I don't think you want to jump in someone's face.. I think you did the right thing by not confronting this guy. You're right about those of us on hormones vs those that aren't on them and there has to be a huge difference in strength as people mentioned. The only reason I harp on self defence is it helps control the fear and makes us react in different ways if we know how to control it.
Some of us here including myself might say do this and do that but chances are if we were in the same situation we would do the same thing you did. Everytime you can escape from a dangerous situation it is to be declared as a victory. So remember you won he did not win. YOU ARE THE WINNER! He has to now deal with what he said because it sounds like his wife was not into condoling his behaviour.

[Vee]

That was disgraceful behavior. Someone needs to remind that marine that his job is to defend the USofA where generations have fought for our freedom of belief, not beat up or mock those with whom he disagrees.