Dressing and sexual excitement

[Sarah-RT]

Hey everyone

I'm sure this has probably been asked before but I was curious to know if anyone had the same experience.

As some members have mentioned in previous threads that they do or at least did get sexual excitement out of dressing, have any of you moved past that and how did that affect the way you dress?

For me I began regularly crossdressing around 14 or 15, soon after but unrelated I also began to become sexually active which eventually linked the two, I would go through the usual spells of dressing but usually end up following it up with porn and what have you, a lot of my clothing was underwear and lingerie based since it was the easiest way to express a form of femininity but it caused sexual desires.

As of the last few months I've noticed that I've steered myself away from combining the two, and prefer dressing without it being sexual, as I began dressing in front of some friends I had the fear of becoming aroused and that I would not be able to do one without the other.

As of now dressing is for the most part a gender only thing and I enjoy my time doing it far more, I replaced my wardrobe with more outerwear and clothing to suit my body type, so lingerie etc is gone. female underwear is now as sexually exciting to me as my male underwear is, I view it only as practical forms of clothing.

Has anyone else experienced this and moved on or am I just peculiar altogether?

Sarah x

[PaulaQ]

This happened to me when I came out to myself, when I finally admitted that I didn't just want to be a woman, that I was one, and always had been. All sexual parts of this stopped rather quickly - within a couple of weeks. My libido overall tanked at that point - I was extremely dysphoric, and I had rather vivid and unpleasant dreams about my genitalia. (I still suffer from these sometimes. They are awful.)

[Jennifer Devine]

The sexual arousal comes naturally and only seems to be brought on when i am fully dressed up especially in a pencil skirt and blouse or when i dream that i am dressed up.
I worry about going out as a woman one day and becoming a bit too excited.

[Nadine Spirit]

I don't think you are peculiar. I in fact think your story lines up well with many people here.

For me, it took long conversations with my wife and her take on things for me to better see my own story. Before I was 20 or so the only fem thing I ever wore was my sister's Guess jean jacket. I had done many gender non-conforming things before that. When I did venture into dressing it was directly connected to sex. Eventually it morphed into what it is now, non-sexual. I always figured that my beginnings were sexual in nature. It took my wife pointing out that I had always experienced a gender variance, from as early back as we can track; long before I was even aware of arrousal. My gender non-conforming behaviors were not ever connected to sex.

So.... what I think now is that my gender variances are something I was born with and just something that is a part of me, and always has been. Bringing it out durig sex allowed me mentally to accept it. It was just a sexual kink, and in my mind that was acceptable, having some sort of gender issue, not acceptable.

In no way am I meaning to imply for everyone that this is what is up, just my interpretation of me.

[Alice Torn]

It is still there with me, but not as strong as years ago. I still get aroused at Alice in certain dresses, skirts, hose and heels, though, at times, but don't go through with it everytime. I hope if i ever go out in public again, to wear long skirts or dresses, conservative.

[LucyNewport]

This is fairly similar to my own experience. It started out as my main (only, really) turn on. Once I started to develop a more complete femme persona, and went out into the world as her, the erotic appeal of the clothes melted away. I think for me a big part of the excitement was the exotic nature of it all. Wearing a dress was so beyond my usual day to day experience! Now that it is fairly normal, my erotic appetites have moved on to other things.

[chris63]

Sounds like my own experience. One of the things that helps me is to distinguish between a sexual and sensual experience. For me, anytime I CD it is a very sensual thing but not sexual. All of my physical and emotional senses and perception seem to be kicked up a notch. However, I usually don't get an erection from putting a dress on. The sexual part for me is when I dress sexy for my wife.

[reb.femme]

About 40 years ago I moved in with my then girlfriend (wife these days) and I definitely had a fetish thing with her nighties and underwear. I came out to her just three years back and the sexual thing did slowly disappear to coincide with my now wearing femme clothing on a more open and regular basis. It's not completely gone though, but much more subdued.

So from my point of view, definitely not weird...said the guy in a dress .

And anyway, I now have to wear a bra to keep my gun in Sarah. Ruins the old gag about, "is that a gun in your pocket or are you just....etc. etc." (For other readers, this is in relation to a comment from Sarah in another post.)

Rebecca

[BobbiD33]

For me dressing has always had an element of auto-eroticism, dating to probably pre-pubescence and continuing to this day (64).

That said, and i'm limited lately to underdressing, i'm not always sexually aroused wearing women's clothes. I can drive long distances in bra panties and slip and not really even be aware of it.

In fact today i bought a three pack of Hanes hi-cuts, cotton and just my size and they feel just right. No erotic thought process involved.

Although i'm sure i could summon one.

I don't know if this helps, just trying to contribute.

[mechamoose]

Nope. None of that. I feel like *myself*. I would be just as happy to recline on the couch with a book.

<3

- MM

[Laura28]

When I was kid first starting out yes it was a sexual thing. Now looking back maybe that was how justified doing it in my mind. Now there is no sexual feelings, it is calming and just feels normal.

[aussie cd]

when I dress with and go out with my wife (not often) but she has little objection as long as I am not over the top , I can control myself sexually and just be me.
But just the other morning after a night dressed with her and she left for work (I work from home) I was feeling I still wanted to be dressed that morning (not to her knowledge, she would not be happy if I did it at home WITHOUT her knowledge...no problem if she knew) but anyway so I dressed and thought I may go down the road to post a letter (drive there) so jumped in the car all dressed up ,got there and just the knowledge of doing it in secret made things excited and right there and then (across road from postbox) in the car even with restrictive garments keeping things snug & shrunk.....I was overcome and couldn't contain the internal excitement and well you guessed the rest...needless to say the letter didn't get posted and back home it was...
in answer mostly I can control myself but it still stimulates me.....

[Jacqueline85]

As with most of the replies here, I experienced a bit of sexual excitement at first, but this has long since faded. Like Chris63 though, I definitely do feel quite sensual. Even if you do get aroused when fully dressed though, I would think that even a half decent tuck should make an erection impossible.

[Jorja]

It is not now and never was about sexual excitement for me. It was about being dressed properly. For some ungodly reason my parents insisted that I dress like a boy. I tried telling them that I was not a boy. Would they listen? No!

You are not weird because you become excited when dressing. No, you are being uniquely you. There are many CDs that dress simply because wearing women's clothing excites them. Who can blame them? Soft, silky, free flowing, and pretty. What more could a girl ask for? Go right ahead and be yourself. Enjoy all the wonderful feelings you have. It is no ones business except yours and if you have one, your partners.

[aussie cd]

jacqueline85, no erection was necessary, the pure excitement overcame that obstacle....it just happened with the thought and no other help

[CONSUELO]

I began dressing at about 5 years old and my sexual exploration and dressing were combined. It was a wonderful time of discovering all sorts of new sensations and I look back on those years with nostalgia. As I became more sophisticated in my dressing the focus was on making good clothing choices and becoming expert at using makeup, etc. i gain a lot of pleasure from dressing well and looking as feminine as possible.

[Teresa]

Sarah,
Dressing and sexual arousal came to me at about nine years old, the clothes didn't mean anything until I had an involuntary orgasm , it wasn't feel of the material as much as the shape of a swimsuit . Something inside must have clicked saying this looks like a woman's body, I did have a girlfriend at the time, the way it happened made the connections of girl-clothes-sex and that has stuck with me all my life .
I enjoy dressing in it's own right now but and have for some years but it's now going full circle because of my lack of intimate contact with my wife, for nearly ten years now ! Yes she does know the situation, the fact that she's being substituted , she knows my needs and isn't interested in me in male mode and I've made it clear that I respect her wishes on the subject ! I do feel hurt that she takes me at my word now but she is prepared to live with the situation !

[AmberN]

For me it's a sexual thing I do and have done for years. My wife is starting to let me do it more and more. Something in me still just thinks it's for the sexual side I have never really understood what first made me want to dress. I know it was very early young like 5 or 6 so I know that wasn't a sexual thing. But like so many now I have made dressing and sex the main reason I do it . Plus I just can't get over the way the material feels.

[Robin414]

Maybe a little bit but honestly when I'm in female mode my libido goes to zero, always has. Right now my libido is zero all the time and I feel like a woman about 90% of the time...maybe an inverse coorelation!? Maybe the low T causing both at the same time...Like a real chic!?

[Victoria Demeanor]

Well Sarah,
For me the sexual issue is what lead to the most confusion in this odd little desire. Like many here I started very young, maybe five or six trying on my mothers bra and panties. Have no clue why I started doing this, but at that time it had nothing to do with sex. As I grew I had different encounters and variations of wearing girl clothing, but still they had no erotic overtones. There was a gap from my teens to later in life because of, well to much to get into right now, but when the urge came back I thought it must be a sexual thing. This is where the confusion came in. I would put on undies, stockings and a bra, but couldn't get excited. Then I would find myself wanting to put on a dress and more. Truly I wish that it was a sexual thing since that would make more sense to me.
Anyways I'm one of the ones that finds this more therapeutic then sexual. Now I can't say that I don't get aroused some times, but like you, it's as often and the same no matter what I'm wearing.

[Debb]

I dressed pre- and post- pubescence. I would get aroused while dressing, around the ages of 13-17 or 18 .. but that slowly faded away, and now, at 53, nope. Dressing as the girl I am just feels right.

[Pumped]

I don't dress often and have tossed most of my clothing except for a few pieces. The only reason I dressed was the erotic side of it. I never saw myself as a woman, I have no interest in being a woman, it is just the clothing.

[Adriana Moretti]

hey Sara...i am in the same boat...dressing lost giving me the sexual willies a long time ago....and underwear and bras, stockings etc are just functional clothing items now too.....everyone dresses for different reasons and at different levels , some are content in that stage, and only dress once a month or so , and its just a sexual release...to girls like us....its just clothes...not really all that big of a deal....

[OCCarly]

For me dressing had a sexual component from the time I was eleven until I was about twenty. After that, it always addressed a need to feel feminine. Dealing with the sexual needs was something separate.

[cd_dominique]

When I finally got up the nerve to start shopping for Dominique, it wasn't about arousal or anything sexual for me either. It felt like a part of me that had been hidden for too long, but inevitably, I end up getting a little aroused when I am fully dressed, like i am right now, sitting at my computer typing this.