Dressing and sexual excitement

[Yoshisaur]

Yeah it has been the same for me as well. Sexual excitement was a big reason as to why I kept dressing as a kid/teen, even now there is an amount of sexual pleasure from it all. However I would say that after some time my sexual excitement from crossdressing has changed towards a more I love feeling like a female and being a female, and not just a turn on. Who knows maybe all of this will just one day become a casual thing for me.

[AbigailJordan]

I think it's quite normal for most CD's to go through this.. obviously some will always just have a fetish for the lingerie etc, but for the serious crossdressers, the ones butying wigs.. heels.. makeup etc, the look and the clothes become more important than the sexual thrill.. this doesn't mean they won't ever get a sexual thrill from dressing.. Most days when I get home from work I change immediately into a comfy dress or jumpsuit and it's just part of the day.. but if I'm getting all dolled up, I'll think about what outfit I'm going to wear etc.. and can sometimes become aroused just thinking about how sexy the look is going to be..

And I can only imagine it's a similar thing to when gg's get all dressed up.. they probably get a little worked up thinking about the outfit they're going to go clubbing in or whatever.. whilst treating everyday dress as just another part of the day.. same as we do.

[Sarah-RT]

Nadine, I too thought for a while that perhaps it was a sexual kink due to the fact of what I got up to while dressed, it seems like an easy way to reduce the dressing to nothing more than an odd sexual urge and nothing more to help make sense of it.

Lucy I found it wasnt my main turn on, nor my first but it did become a big one in certain ways but like yourself, Ive moved on quite a lot and the excitement of it has faded away for the most part ( thankfully too, I found myself hating dressing after an aroused period and wondered what I was doing with myself)

Chris I would agree, dressing has become more sensual to me, I find myself being concerned with how my wig looks or which clothes to match and the other things that GG's fret over in relation to dressing but in a good way if that makes sense. In terms of dressing and being sexual with an SO such as you say with your wife, that probably wouldnt bother me at all,rather than dressing to be sexual I would be being sexual with an SO while I happen to be dressed is the way I look at that.

Rebecca, I would relate to that alright, while I avoid mixing the two it still does happen, just a lot more rarely now.
Hah your learning now, there is only the quick and the dead, at least you can be fashionable while doing it too!

Bobbi, I dont ever recall dressing before puberty apart from wearing my sisters lipstick on one occasion because I wanted to ( this is one of my first memories of doing anything trans) and also crossdressing an action figure with a barbies clothes, but those certainly werent erotic or anything at that time, I crossdressed a few times when I was around 12-13, again because I wanted, or needed to. The sexual attraction to doing it didnt come until later, I think I made it sexual really, as ive heard suggested that dressing causes a dopamine release in the brain this would make sense. As you say about not becoming aroused by underwear etc,in the past while shopping online I found myself becoming aroused just at the notion pf purchasing some of the items, but back then the clothing choices i had were a bit more sexual in nature

Laura I agree with you there, it does feel a lot more normal to me without the sexual attachment.

Jacqueline that is a good point, ive actually only began tucking very recently since I found how to make a decent enough DIY gaffe rather than the shaving and taping method, it does make getting it up more of a challenge, and for the better too.

Jorja the problem I had with it was that I feel I made dressing into a sexual activity when it had not been before and that after an evening of dressing it made me feel worse about myself where I couldnt take the clothes off fast enough and try and forget I had put them on at all, where as now I can dress for the bulk of the evening depending on who is around in the house and feel sad that I have to take off my wig etc before I get into bed. I much prefer distancing the two.

Consuelo I will agree for myself that I feel great when I think I look presentable, and the better I get at dressing such as when I bought forms and a wig that I feel even happier but I dont look back on my teen years of discovery with much joy since I feel it being a sexual experience kind of held me back from discovery the dressing side at a better pace, most of my dressing developments have only come in the last year or two.

Teresa a lot of my early clothing items were one piece lingerie etc and I think thats where the sexual end of things came from, it was very easy to look at something thats supposed to present the wearer as the idea of femme and become aroused, thats the trouble of being straight and a dresser too I guess. Yeah I can see how that cycle can work, Ive been single for a couple of years now since my last girlfriend and hook ups have been few between but I try to keep my sexual longing and dressing away from each other now lest I ruin it for myself which is what im afraid of.

Pumped, I thought for a while too that it was simply sexual or from a lack of intimacy or an attraction to the clothing itself but now I feel its more to do with gender, which I believe it began as before I became sexually active.

Adriana I would agree that its just clothes, Hold up stockings used to excite me where as now I have a collection of tights that have animals or love hearts etc in the designs that I purchased simply because they looked cute, the way it should be

Yoshisaur I found the sexual aspect actually decreased my amount of dressing, and certainly cut short the amount of time I would stay dressed, like you however I prefer looking and feeling female to the sexual aspect now.

[Cheryl T]

When I was young, around puberty, it was a combination of the forbidden and the sexual nature of the styles I chose. Yes, it was erotic, it was stimulating and it was satisfying. Then the regret and shame would kick in.
Somehow over time this just faded. Now there is the sensual side, not the sexual side.
As I explained it to my wife as I was donning my garter belt and stockings one night before we went out ... don't most women enjoy that sensual feeling that comes with wearing certain clothing? Don't they feel more in touch with their sensuality when they dress in what most would consider "ultra feminine" clothing, such as garters and hose rather than pantyhose ? Don't you feel sexier wearing stilettos rather than a stacked heel ? It's not that you're being sexual, but that you are sensual. You just feel more feminine.
Now I feel feminine no matter what I'm wearing, but it's not erotic anymore, it's sensual. It's not that I'm seeking sex, I'm seeking to be more in touch with the woman inside.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Sara, It sounds like you are a normal young man under all of those pretty clothes.

[bimini1]

As Spock would say it's fascinating. For me to say there is no turn on to it would be delusional. And at one point I tried to say that. For some reason it took the sting out of it if I could say it was not sexual. When it started at 4 years old I can't say there was any turn on per say. Maybe there was but I didn't know what it was. I recall a breath taking sensation at that time. Then it started up again at 10 years old like someone flipped a light switch. Again just a light headed endorphin rush kind of vibe.
It became sexually charged during the teen years on up thru my 30's to varying degrees. I can recall dressing once in college at a GF's apartment and getting absolutely no sexual charge out of it and saying to myself, what's the point of doing it if I am just sitting here. This was long before I got into wigs, forms and cosmetics. Looking back it just amazes me of all the stages it's gone thru and after a half century is still around in some form. I'm also blown away by soooo many parallels in these stories only to think that I was alone in this back in those days. Mind boggling.

If anyone has an opportunity to seek out a book called The Man In the Red Velvet Dress, I forget the author's name. As a CD, he gives just about the best break down of the different types of CDers and the phases they go thru as I've ever read. In light of this thread, I may dig it out and re read it.
I will say that if I'm out and about sex is the farthest thing from my mind and my most illuminating and fulfilling experiences with it have come from that plane.

[TrishaTX]

The minute i touch female clothes I am turned on...nothing I can do about it. Now I do not walk around dressed most of the time, I have moments , albeit short ones, where I an dress and relax. anything salon or nylon really does it for me. I love it. maybe one day but I am 49 and nothing has changed, so I doubt it will change for me.

[Jazzy Jaz]

The sexual enjoyment of dressing is still very much alive for me. Recently i have more desire to start attending convensions and experience it socially without coming out to people i know. My gf has agreed to help me shop for social wear at some point but im only really interested in bridesmaid evening type dresses for that and want to feel beautiful and sexy. I definately have other female aspects to my personality and i enjoy both very much. At home when dressed and i finish with the erotic side i remain dressed and enjoy doing chores and watching movies and admiring my nails when i pick stuff up and put it down. I've fully dressed regularly more than two thirds of my life and have always had a sexual aspect as part of it and as long as i have sexual needs i dont expect that to change.

[Sandie70]

When I'm dressed I feel a certain "sensuality," although I use that word instead of "sexuality." I am more into being as feminine as possible, oftentimes overwhelmed with the challenge of it all - the clothes, jewelry, etc. There is a sensual feeling to all this... becoming someone else - to think that some who see you might think of you as a woman. Oddly enough, the sexual feelings come after I undress. It's as if I've just been with a woman on a deeply intimate level... that woman being myself.

[mechamoose]

When I'm dressed I feel a certain "sensuality," although I use that word instead of "sexuality."

^THIS^

I love feeling pretty. I love the fabrics and the colors and the styles, I just don't get turned on by wearing them. I guess I get past that 'sexual' feel because I know myself and my interests and can participate in them regardless of if I'm dolled up or not. Maybe it is because some some of us (like yourself) you only feel free when dressed? I'm not sure, I'm just speculating.

- MM

[Isabella Ross]

Like the majority who have replied to this thread, there was absolutely a sexual element to my initial dressing forays when I was not even yet a teenager. Then again, at this age, there was a sexual element to making toast or mowing the lawn or anything else for that matter (raging hormones). Seriously, I believe the sexual element is part and parcel of repression for crossdressers living in absolute secrecy. Take away the secrecy, and it moves into a different realm...one of sensuality as opposed to autoeroticism. This has largely been the case for me, although let's be honest here, folks...there is absolute nothing wrong with a little healthy self-gratification, and if making yourself pretty stimulates you, go for it. But for the most part, these days, I do feel sensual rather than aroused when I dress, particularly in lingerie. The arousal comes when my wife enters the scenario...

[CONSUELO]

Isabella Ross makes a good point. As a teenager I would become sexually aroused for no apparent reason. So, add some sensual female clothing and the outcome was preordained.

[LisaKarenAZ]

Originally, I recall there being a sexual element to my dressing. Years later, now that I've been able to come to terms with what this all means, and where I sit in the overall spectrum, I've come to recognize that the sexual element was there because it was during the self exploration phase of my youth and it's an easy way to explain the unknown.

I've also come to realize that my place on the spectrum leans more toward gender dysphoria, and that I am more female than male. I find myself feeling more sensual that sexual when I have some sexy clothing on. When I'm dressed in day to day women's clothing, I don't get aroused.

[jigna]

I feel very excited wearing woman undergarments.
When I get a chance, I never leave any opportunity to make up my face and wear saree, Blouse and penticot and all sort of ornaments bengles, bindi etc.
I also apply nail polish, Mashkara, eye liner etc.
I get very excited doing all this.

[mechamoose]

I do analytical work for a living. I'm a chemist and a computer/systems engineer by trade. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Everything has a reason. Figuring out what is causing that is what makes ALL the difference in being able to understand and measure what is going on. Without that, you can't make educated changes. Until you do that, you are just left with your intuition and guesses... which may be right, but you can't prove that to someone else. It isn't reproducible and can't be written up as a guide for someone else.

Let me set up a situation and pose a bunch of questions.

Setup:

You discover that you will get time to be the 'other you', a really big window. Days. You can dress and doll up as hard as you want to. There is zero chance that anybody is going interrupt your time. You get to transform. Those 'hot' feelings come to the surface.

Questions:

What about you is feeling 'allowed' to be able to feel & be different en-femme than what you can be in your en-male version? What are those feelings? What power does it bestow upon you? What is different? Is your desire only 'free' during that time? What do you want now that is different than before you got this time?

Is there a way you could include some of those answers into your genetic self?

My intuitions say:

You are the same person you were in intellect and genetics before you put on that pretty stuff. Literally speaking, it is a costume. It is just clothes and coloring. You are expressing yourself differently based on the clothing, in the same way as you would a sports mascot. That sports mascot gets away with a lot of random stuff, and nobody will do anything but have fun with it. Nobody questions it. That is a "role", and can be played by anyone.

Yet, it feels different. You feel like YOU. Parts of your personality get that WEIGHT off them. You get to breathe.

I'm not going to give a word of opinion as to those answers. It isn't my place, I'm not in your heels. I have been trying very hard not to make this about sexuality issues over identity ones, but I do believe that they are linked at some level. I believe it is something that we each need (Need!) to identify in ourselves in order to be at peace.

What I *will* say is that I believe that we must figure out how to accept ourselves regardless of those answers. We have to be true to ourselves or we will be miserable. If we can't do that, we will always be in hiding, and nobody else can follow our lead.

My two cents, adjusted for inflation.

(...and based on previous posts, I'm a Wet Nellie on this party, but I think it is worth the answers.)

<3

- MM

[Kristy 56]

For me there definitely is,and several GGs also once told me that being all dolled up was an experience for them too. Probably the worst part of being in the closet ,and having a non supportive spouse

[TrishaTX]

The arousal comes when my wife enters the scenario...[/QUOTE]
Me too Isabella...the enjoyment is to be accepted by the one I love....

[Heelios]

I can relate to this. This all started for me as a shoe fetish and was all very much about getting aroused. The dressing in clothes thing is relatively new to me but the more I do it and now that I have accepted that I like CDing the less it is about getting aroused although i do still go there sometimes especially when heels are involved! But more often than not I just enjoy doing things around my flat dressed.

[Diversity]

In my younger years, there definitely was a sexual feeling associated with my dressing. Now occasionally that still occurs, but much more often, I find a sense of relaxation, inner peace, and feminine fulfillment when I dress.
Di

[anna.h]

Not sexual at all for me. I just feel like myself -- my pretty self.

[thatperson1551]

It is for me at times, but it is unintentional. Like when I am getting dressed and looking the mirror It makes tucking impossible, so I have to sit down and wait a minute. ha

Nothing happens in a vacuum. Everything has a reason. Figuring out what is causing that is what makes ALL the difference in being able to understand and measure what is going on. Without that, you can't make educated changes. Until you do that, you are just left with your intuition and guesses... which may be right, but you can't prove that to someone else. It isn't reproducible and can't be written up as a guide for someone else.

That is certainly the most eloquent/articulate way I have seen or heard that explained.

[Badwolf]

For me the clothing items do have some sexual meaning, that I don't think I will completely grow out of, but the dressing itself isn't. Most of it developed pre-pubescently and doesn't drive me towards sexual experiences.

[weyburn]

when I first started it was very high arousal level
Now I can feel so right about it and everything comes so natural but if I am out and about and a man tries to pick me up while treating me as a woman the level goes back up again

[AletaHawk]

For me, dressing was sexual until I came to understand and accept that I was genderfluid. Once that sank in, I've found I get less arousal out of dressing and more comfort. Like I'm finally whole. It still pops up now and then (no pun intended), but that's more when I'm feeling "sexy" than anything else. Most of the time, panties are just that.

[Sandy Clifton]

At this point in my evolution, dressing-induced glandular excitement of some sort
(whether gonad or adrenal) is certainly a factor. I sometimes feel guilty that these
urges are indicative of a kind of immaturity, but ultimately conclude that it's healthiest
for me to be honest about what I feel.