Coming out.......

[thecddj]

Hi all,

My partner knows all about my dressing (told her within the first week we got together, have no idea how i managed to tell her and i wasn't drunk lol) and she is so amazing with it, we shop together, buy things for each other, the whole nine yards, i really can't believe how lucky i am with her, but i now feel the need to come out to my family and friends, i have an idea my mother has an idea or knows about me but i'm not 100% sure. There is a very close friend of mine that i am so close to telling, and that is because i get a similar vibe that he is also a closet crossdresser from some of the chats we have had.
My sister would prob initially take the p then moan that some of my clothes were better than hers lol
But i really don't know what to do or say ext........ very confused......

How did you all approach the subject to your family friends ???

[justmetoo]

For me it depended on whether I was in a position where I could talk to them face to face or not. Face to face, I just came out with it and told them, this is who I am, this is part of me. With a few who I wouldn't be seeing face to face for a good while I wrote letters or emails (depending on which I typically communicated with them through), briefly telling them about this part of me. In almost all of those cases I was pretty confident it would go well. In the 1 or 2 cases where I wasn't so confident I had made my peace with whatever the outcome or reaction was, good or bad. And I had come to a good level of self-acceptance.

Best wishes to you!

[Jenniferathome]

Why does your family need to know?

Will you dress around them? If not, then it's irrelevant to them. I always ask this question: are you telling them for THEM or for YOU?

[TrishaTX]

Why does your family need to know?

Will you dress around them? If not, then it's irrelevant to them. I always ask this question: are you telling them for THEM or for YOU?

Outside of your mom, I agree with Jenn.

[justmetoo]

For me, it was hard (impossible) to be close to people when I kept a large part of myself walled away. Coming out to loved ones brought us closer together (except for one case, which came apart for other reasons, too). So who was it for? All of us.

[kimdl93]

Take your time and clarify your reasons for coming out before you take that step. Ask yourself some serious questions about your motivations for wanting to share this information and how you see your life in one, three, five or twenty years.

When I say motivations...is it because you're tired and frustrated by denying who you are, or do you get some sort of thrill out of coming out. If it's the latter, probably better to keep it to yourself. If it's the former, and you look forward to living more openly as a transgendered person, then coming out is part of realizing your life's potential.

[Rachelakld]

My mum knew by the clothes she used to wash for me when I was a teenager living at home (bras, undies, stockings).
I informed my sister, having coffee and just told her, she smiled and said that is why she loved me, because I am me.
She informed her husband and kids, and they sent sweet little notes.
My dad, he used to be old school, I asked if I could wear tights (yoga) and girls top around his house and he said, yes what ever makes me comfortable.
The way my dad used to hang around checking out the ladies section of clothes "for mum", I sometimes wonder about him.

My teenage kids often see me dressed, and they allow some of their friends to see me dressed

[gailprice]

My Mum knew and she was quite cool about it.
Your partner knows and seems accepting which may have put you in the "pink fog" zone. Is it important that others should know right now.
Why not give it a while and let the "pink fog" clear.
Who knows you and your partner may find opportunities where you can let others know more about your girly side together which may not seem such a shock to your freinds and family.


Take a deep breath and count to ten first I thinks.

Gail xxxx

[Marcelle]

Hi there,

I think before you come out to your family, the one question you should ask yourself is . . . How integral to your life is dressing? Specifically, is this something you can do at home with your wife's knowledge, do it, then put it away for another day. Is it something you feel compelled to do in public from time to time or a lot? If you go out in public, is there the possibility your family could see you? Is dressing so important to you that it defines who you are such that doing so is something you see yourself doing a lot and wanting to be more public and open and not doing so will cause emotional distress?

I know seems like a lot of questions but if this is something you can do once in awhile (in private or in public), enjoy yourself and then go on with life as a guy, I agree with others as there may be no need for your family to know. However, if dressing defines you on a fundamental level and not being able to share that with others (be who you need to be) will cause emotional toil, then perhaps letting your family know might be a good thing. Lots of those who water here have come out to their families and friends for their own personal reasons. Sometimes it goes well and other times not so well but it is an informed decision we have all take for specific reasons. You need to decide if your desire to tell your family is for an appropriate reason or if you just feel you should because others have. Remember, once the bell is rung, it cannot be silenced.

Hugs

Isha

[emma-louise]

why does your family need to know? what you get up to in the confines of your own home has nothing to do with them xx

[Claire Cook]

As with other questions we deal with, this depends on your personal circumstances and how strongly you feel about your TG. I like Kim's response, so that hers would be my suggestion. In my case, my family is spread far and wide, and I have not felt the need to tell them about me (yet). I have some very conservative cousins who would probably disapprove. I've come out to a number of GG friends and as Justmetoo has said, it has made us closer.

[Stacy Sissy CD]

Well, in March 2011, I took the leap of faith after cross-dressing since 1973. I first informed my Biological Mother then Biological Sister; both fine. Continued to inform my Foster Mother; fine. She informed my two Foster Sisters and Foster Father; all fine (yes, even Foster Father!!!). Informed Landlady; fine. Informed three Mates who I have know for years; fine. So, in conclusion, if people are close to you; it would appear that they will have no problem; my experience! Admittedly, my Biological Brother does not wish to discuss but accepts.

[Tina_gm]

Like others, I would ask you to ask yourself (or maybe you already know) why any one person needs to know. There are people in our lives that may need to know, depending on our living situations. How much a part of dressing is for us. Partners should be in on this. Probably anyone who we live with should be, but not necessarily. When it comes to children, that is likely the most difficult situation. While some here have children that do know, and for some it causes no problems at all, that cannot be expected every parent who is TG. Depending on location, the age of the children, other variables, it may not be the best idea to inform them of this. Unless of course the TG parent is planning to live full time, and or transition. If it is more basic CDing and occasional, without the majority of people in their lives knowing, and without any major outings (not saying any) Do the children need to know? or parents, other family members, friends, coworkers? If your life situation does not require their knowledge, and it has a strong chance of negative consequences, it is best to not tell IMO.

[thecddj]

Well that was unexpected................

Went round to moms the other day for a cuppa and a chat, was talking about normal stuff and one of the daytime tv shows was on (jeremy kyle) and one of guests said that they like to dress up and i just turned and looked at my mom to ask something totally unrelated and i got
"you dress don't you"
well i went bright red and then she said
"it's ok, i know, have known for a long time, i have even washed some of your underwear while you used to work without you realising."

[justmetoo]

LOL
Sounds like your mother is fine with it.

[Badwolf]

haha that is incredible, seems like she even knew you were ready to come out too. Definitely a "mothers intuition" moment. You just posted about possibly telling her a few days before (checks for camera's on forum).

It goes to show that you never really know how people will react until it comes out, but that not all scenarios are bad!

[thecddj]

I tell you, i have never gone so red ! lol