Passing the torch

[Charlotte Williams]

I met an older CD (after trying to track down breast forms) and he was getting rid of all his old things. He seemed sad and deflated that every time he tried to sell his things, someone would change their offer or only want one thing of many. He told me I was his last chance and if I didn't want them, he would just throw them away . I wasn't sure if everything would fit me, but I also didn't want to be somehow linked to so many beautiful pieces of clothing going to their deaths. So many corsets and items to go through and determine fit or if I can resell them to someone who will appreciate them.

I asked why he was getting rid of everything and he said he was becoming more and more aware of his mortality and didn't want his kids, wife, family to have to go through his things and the thought of that mad me sad too. I always wonder what my family would think about my massive collection of clothing, if something ever happened to me. I guess it shouldn't really matter, since I'll be dead and my opinion won't count. But still I wonder...

[CynthiaD]

My family has already seen virtually everything I own. On me. Well, except for that one ratty old dress that I wish I'd never bought.

[kimdl93]

That's very sad. One last expression of the fear we have all known at one time or another.

[Charlotte Williams]

I'm envious of such freedom, Cynthia

[Alberta_Pat]

I have had this type of discussion with my Bride.

It has been determined that in the event of my passing, my forms and hair would go to the cancer center and clothing would be passed on to a charity shop.

If at some time in the future, I decide to discontinue dressing, this same disposal method would apply.

Enjoy the stash Charlotte.

[AllieSF]

Surprise, surprise! "Dad did what??????"

[Teresa]

Charlotte,
I try not to have thoughts like that but I know I'll have to make some arrangements to clear my stuff out as painlessly as possible, at least my family all know about my dressing and where my things are despite never seeing me wear them at the moment .
I did feel hurt when my wife said if I go first she'll just order a large skip and clear out all my stuff I'm holding onto at the moment ( not just for my dressing needs !) I felt that's a sad end when your wife tells you that's how your life will end and I told her in so many words that comments like that aren't necessary !

[Jaylyn]

I think we've all wondered that at some time in our CD years. My wife will dispose of everything if I die first. Sad but she'll probably just throw them away. I've often thought that if she goes first I might just quit and purge every thing of mine. My daughters will probably clean out all her outfits and a few tops I might just hide, to remember her and to wear since a few fit me as well. I know the heels and panties will probably be thrown out.

[JayeLefaye]

Ahh, mortality. It's been on my mind a lot lately, even though I'm just approaching 60. I gotta stop thinking about it so much and just enjoy the moment:-)

As to the stash, and who discovers it and what they think.

I finally came to terms with my CDing when I was around 45 and had been divorced for a few years. Much of my awareness came from this Forum when I was a lurker. I had an apartment and lived alone, and wondered what would happen should I suddenly pass. My solution was to simply set up my apartment as if there was a woman who shared it. Two sides of the closet. Two of everything in the bathroom, including box of tampons to complete the illusion. I was coming out to friends and social gatherings, but my belongings would be sorted through by my siblings, and I figured it would be easier for them to try to figure out who my mysterious girlfriend might be...Call me silly:-)

Then I met the woman who eventually became my wife, and she knew from our first date. What will happen to my stash should I pre-decease her? She will keep everything! Every skirt, every pair of shoes(all 4 of them). Everything! Why? Because they will all remind her of the man she loves. She will often borrow a skirt or top of mine to wear now, and I imagine she would continue that.

I hope I live long enough to eventually be able to "wear purple".

My heart goes out to those who haven't been as fortunate as I have been.

Jaye

[Krisi]

Reality is, any one of us could die today so have we made plans? Do we care?

My assumption is that I will die before my wife and she will get rid of my stuff. If we both go together, I suppose my children will find out but I'll be dead so I won't have to deal with it.

[CarlaWestin]

Charlotte, that is a very touching story. How wonderful that the elderly CD met a compassionate like minded person. Accept all he has to offer at a fair price. Let him tell you the stories that are hidden in the wardrobe. I'm sure each piece has a story. And use what you can and donate the rest. I know as an older CD, I own cherished pieces that just aren't made anymore.

As far as my 'what if' strategy goes, I really couldn't care less. I'm sure my wife would throw everything away as soon as the death cert was signed. I got to thinking about, not only the walk in closet full of dresses, maid's outfits, sissy dresses and lingerie and drawers full of bras, panties and bd and cb items but, what about the thousands of images and videos on my computer? So I've been slowly consolidating all that on a separate 1TB USB drive.

It's kind of an odd residual left over from being totally in the closet. You know everything you have and exactly where it is. And, anyone who steps into my office can plainly see two framed pictures. The first picture from before I knew I was Carla (exhibit A in my divorce. That tactic failed miserably) and, my best picture. The one where people say, "OMG, that's you?"

But, you know? When your time's up, it just doesn't matter.

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[Sarah Beth]

It is sad to think about but also a reality for many. I was friends with guy who was really great, went out of his way to do things for other people, would share what he had with anyone, had never married, so lived alone. He was also a big collector of a lot of things and a hoarder of sorts. After he passed and his family came to clear things out they found huge stashes of all sorts of porn. It didn't bother me that he had it but his family was all horrified about it. So I can see why people would want to get rid of that sort of thing.

[jigna]

I never think in this direction.
Just live in today, enjoy your available time with happiness.