What's Missing?

[AprilMayy<3]

So recently April hasn't been having as much fun as she'd like, and I'm rather confused. I don't know whats missing.
I have everything I think I would need. I 'pass' in the few photos I take(according to others). I get everything ready, the buildup is great(buildup as getting ready eg shaving, makeup, dressing etc), and then; nothing. I feel good, though something is missing and that something is depressing me since dressing no longer has a 'rush?'. I'm more than content to just sit and do normal things while dressed(what I'm doing now), though it no longer feels 'feminine'. I feel feminine before I dress, I feel feminine getting ready, then actually looking like a women doesn't feel feminine. It's so strange.
Do I need a boost? I have yet to go outside as April, as my walk nor voice is anywhere near passable, so maybe going outside should give me that boost I'm looking for? Maybe?
Maybe it's just a down phase? It's not like I don't WANT to do it, I'm just not 'enjoying' myself while I do it. (On a side note, that sound eerily similar to what an addict would say...)
Any advice?

Also, sorry for any inconsistency with my writing, I usually type as I think, which is inconsistent :P

[Rachelakld]

I always plan it as a great adventure, then once in the mode, end up doing normal girl stuff (cook, clean, go out shopping or swimming) and my attitude is now that it's just all so normal being a female now, where once it was a buzz.
Think I'll have to plan another "challenge" for myself

[AnnaMarie]

That's not girls stuff - I do all that in man mode
Don't think there is such a thing as girl stuff now in our sexually equal world.....Oh hang on a minute..... Crossdressing, not always accepted in our world.... Not that sexually equal then

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi April May, It seams like the more we get the more we want.

[Katey888]

I think you've said it yourself April:

Do I need a boost? I have yet to go outside as April, as my walk nor voice is anywhere near passable, so maybe going outside should give me that boost I'm looking for? Maybe?

Well, your walk you can practice and improve, and a lot of folk that get out can't do much about their voice, so don't let that be a barrier - and you live in a region that seems very accepting of us so yes; you probably need to try getting out...

If you feel like you need some 'moral' support in doing that, then an LGBT friendly club would be an 'easy' way to start - if you can do it with someone who's prepared to help (we have quite a few experienced members in your area..?) that would be good to have the support to help with those butterflies... I suspect once you begin interacting with other folk, even if that's in a safe and supportive environment, you'll feel some validation and feminine feeling return..

The Girl will out!

Katey x

[Jorja]

Do I need a boost? I have yet to go outside as April, as my walk nor voice is anywhere near passable, so maybe going outside should give me that boost I'm looking for? Maybe?

Get out of here! No really, drum up the courage to step out the door. Start off small and work your way up to the local mall and exploring the city enfemme. Open the door and step out a couple of steps and build from there.

[docrobbysherry]

U mite try going out as April. I never wanted to go out dressed but do it regularly now. Can't say I find it exciting. More like stressful. Nothing like my katy bar the door, anything goes dressing in private.

If you're a TS, u may need to get out there to complete yourself.

But, if you're a closet drssser like I am, becoming any woman I chose in any outfit, or lack of, at home, is much more fun then going out as a man in a dress trying to blend! It certainly is still very exciting for me anyway. So many different women and looks and so little time!

[jigna]

This is a calculated risk when you do something different than routine, worth trying.

[suchacutie]

Putting on the clothes and makeup was a rush when it was all new, but we always knew Tina was more than that. The physical illusion was a good start, but the important piece for me was finding out who Tina was/is. As time has proceeded, Tina's activities have become more and more her own. This does include body movement and voice use, but also includes what books she reads and movies she watches. Her craft projects are her own, and she's even taken up her own musical instrument.

Some here at the forum don't need that separation, but I do, and it sounds like you might. So, the next time you transform, don't do the things you do in guy mode. You might go out, but you don't need to if you let your girl self have another life/agenda.

[Debra Russell]

Getting dressed is always fun, but in the end leaves me very empty if I can not express myself by going out - try it, be cognizant about it and you will again have a more fulfilling experience ....enjoy it.......................Debra

[Adriana Moretti]

Hey girl ...this happens, i was like that too, I guess it depends on you, and what you are trying to achieve, and what you want to get out of crossdressing. Just because others go out and do things does not mean you have to too, you dont have to "keep up" with the jones's....sometimes people feel they need to cause they see and read about it here....dressing no longer has a rush for me either...( exCept for when im rushing to get ready LOL )....
as for your walk & talk...trust me on this, i seen many gals have neither down and be fine...i get getting the walk down, but too much emphasis is placed on the talking, every gal I ever met in public used their real voice, for better or worse, and nobody cared, in fact those who "fake it"...look....well...fake. LOL....Maybe the reason you are not enjoying it is because you are doing it alone...I think Katey is right, you should find yourself some local gals to go out with, make some friends, and share..that will REALLY take you to the next level ( if thats where you want to go )....I went through that phase too, and it wasnt till I ventured out with the help of friends that things changed....or maybe you are content at home...but to me it sounds like that boost you need is a gal pal xoxo Send me a plane ticket...I will come out ..we can rock Southern Cali LOL ...

[PaulaQ]

Doing this alone is just not much of a life. This isn't a hobby, this is a part of you. Integrate it into your life such as you can. That means going out.

(On a side note, that sound eerily similar to what an addict would say...)

This isn't an addiction. It's much more powerful than that.

I feel good, though something is missing and that something is depressing me since dressing no longer has a 'rush?'. I'm more than content to just sit and do normal things while dressed(what I'm doing now), though it no longer feels 'feminine'.

This is possibly a sign of progressing gender dysphoria. Pay attention to the bad feelings - if they get worse, I'd suggest you might want to talk with a gender therapist.

Part of what you are experiencing is that your appearance feels more normal to you.

[CynthiaD]

You should definitely go out. That will be new and thrilling for a while, but eventually that too will become ordinary.

What you do after that depends on why you're doing this. If it's primarily for the thrills, take a break. Nothing can be thrilling all the time.

On the other hand, there are people like me who just want to be ordinary normal women. In this case, the early period, when everything is new and wonderful, is just the learning period. The objective is to get to a place where everything is ordinary and normal. This is so you can live your life as it was meant to be lived, instead of spending all your time pretending to be something you're not.

So, figure out what you really want, and go for it. Good luck!