how a man can handle it? i speak on how my tomboy middle sis handled herself,she must have been on t for that gal can fight. ive oretended to be male my whole life,ive learnef to be very aware of surroundings and also who you hang with. im very feminate but a tomboy,i like who i am.
But not for trans women? Probably an unintended meaning, but interesting nonetheless, considering the topic is about trans women.Originally Posted by Lori Kurtz
You don't even have to be dressed to draw this animosity. I have had looks that could kill. (I'm pretty androgynous, and some of these likely assume I'm gay or something.) The trans woman I mentioned earlier who was beaten unconscious had it come out of nowhere. The guy was coming on to her. She didn't respond. He suddenly realized she was trans, and WHAM - out of nowhere. I know others that have been verbally assaulted and stalked.
Don't draw the parallel between GGs and trans women in regard to violence too closely. Assault rates are much higher for trans women. They are higher across the board for LGBT people, but the highest levels in the larger community - by far - are those on us. You have the "normal" factor of assaults against women, to which you can add some additional factor to account for trans ignorance from our lack of socialization and training on safety, plus the haters and weirdos. I also understand that physical assaults on trans women tend to be far more brutal. A trans woman will get holy hell beaten out of her where a GG might get cuffed or something in the same circumstance.
Last edited by LeaP; 06-29-2015 at 07:55 PM. Reason: typo
Lea
I've drawn the evil eye for my "sins" quite often enough, thank you. But the crazies who first try to seduce, then beat on trans women, are the sickest. They believe that we are trying to trick them into having sex with us. I'm only attracted to women, but even if I were straight, I couldn't imagine wanting to make love to one of these monsters. Fortunately, I am pretty much over the hill as far as tabloid romance is concerned.
Lallie
Time for a change.
My fear is more from those who would prey on crossdressers or the transgendered - not fear from being seen as female. Because there is so much hate out there, that's the reason I am careful not to broadcast to my neighbors about my crossdressing predilection. I am not concerned about being outed as much as letting the weirdos out there know where I live - and that's why I'm very circumspect when I come and go.
Don't know about fear of being female,, This is the Trans section right,,, Most of us here fear NOT being FEMALE MORE,, lol,,That's why were here,, So don't be afraid get you some protection and shop till you drop!!
To escape the bonds of being born in the wrong body, only to be afraid to go out and enjoy it, and be the woman you were meant to be, in a very shallow victory.
Use common sense. Maintain a 360 degree vigil around yourself, and stay on the right side of the tracks.
I hate to say it (I belong to every advocacy group there is) most attacks happen- To sex workers. At night. In bad neighborhoods. To women who have had a few/using drugs.
This does not imply you are perfectly safe, attacks can happen in broad daylight, in good areas.
Stay the hell out of hetero cis bars. A mild mannered man, who thinks his masculinity has been threatened is a dangerous beast.
My apologies. I seem to misinterpret when posting in this section. And I remember the story of the member that was attacked. We all just need to make sure we are always aware of our surroundings for our own safety.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
Afraid to be a female? Sorry that does not compute. I am thinking what you are really afraid of is the unknown. I have spent the past 35 most wonderful years as a female. Yes, there have been a few times I was in real danger. There have been a few times when life really sucked. There have been many more times that I have truly loved every second being female. Most of the time though, it is just like being a man. Get up, go to work, come home, go to bed, repeat. It is up to you to fill in around the gaps and make life interesting.
Fear is a tool that the psyche uses to help insure its continued health and wellbeing. Fear is a very natural reaction to the unknown. While there are situations where one might choose to ignore Fear, in most situations it is in our best interest to realize that we do have Fear and think about what concerns us. It is also useful to remember that people who do dangerous things (police, firefighters, test pilots, race car drivers, etc.) are not fearless. They most assuredly do have Fear. The only difference is that they have learned to deal with it and not forget doing those things that contribute to their safety.
DeeAnn
There is nothing terrifying about being a woman. There is nothing that sucks about being a woman. What sucks is the difficult, painful, and slow process it takes to transition. We face many trials and tribulations while in transition.
Also, life happens and it has nothing to do with being a woman or being trans. I was sick for two months with bronchitis, and plenty of people I know had a similar bug since December. Both men and women. Both cis and trans people.
Me too. Yeah, I have much less experience, as I'm only a year into my transition (11 months on HRT, a few more months living as a woman). But yeah, I love being a girl WAY better than being a dude. I was completely miserable as a dude. Everyone around me noticed how uncomfortable in my own skin I seemed as a man. The same people notice I'm WAY more relaxed and comfortable with myself since I came out as a woman.
Just be aware of your surroundings, both as a woman and as being transgender. We were raised as men, with the male privilege of being able to walk anywhere we want, anytime we want, including at 2 am, without worrying about getting sexually assaulted. We have to let go of that behavior. We face a double-whammy depending on how well we pass. We can either be read as a woman, and become the victim of violence against women, or we can be read as trans and become a victim of a hate crime. We should avoid walking outside at night. If we have to go somewhere, go to familiar, well lit places. If you need to go the store at night, park as close to the store at night and walk in well-lit areas. It's better to go out with a friend or partner, since there really is strength in numbers.
If you have a car, use it. Using the public transportation, whether it's being on the bus or the train, or walking to or from the bus or train, drastically increases your odds of being the victim of any type of violence. If you don't have a car, then you have no choice. But a car can literally save your life if you have one.
I will say this. I started another thread about being mis-gendered. One thing I have noticed is that I seldom get mis-gendered when I'm with my boyfriend or in a group. And I spend a LOT of time with him. Most of the times I have been mis-gendered are when I am alone. Getting mis-gendered sucks, but is a better way of letting you know you don't pass than a beating.
Last edited by Michelle789; 07-01-2015 at 03:01 PM.
I've finally mastered the art of making salads. My favorite is a delicious Mediterranean salad.
AMEN!
If this is a "safe space" then perhaps there are less demeaning ways to gently correct her error?
Hugs,
Persephone.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
I don't know what you are trying to say. After you have lost the majority of our muscle mass by hormone intake ( in my case roughly 40 lb) any thought of kicking anyone's ass or eating anyone up is just fiction. Quite apart from the fact that I have no desire to any of that anyway. In this sense this comment is entirely non-sequitur for me. Women experience this all of the time.
http://www.rccmsc.org/resources/get-the-facts.aspx; http://www.rrsonline.org/?page_id=944
Kris, reality check: One out of six women are sexually assaulted before the age of 34. That is 16.8% of the female population. That is 26.64 million out of a population of 158.6 million. Sexual assault prevalence is rampant in the US.
"Never forget the many ways there are to be human" (The Transsexual Taboo)
I’m gonna try hard not to derail this thread, so I’ll be brief. Can we quit with the language policing? I get that some people are sensitive to words like “tranny” and “T-girl”, but not all of us are. Just because you may be sensitive to the term that doesn’t mean it’s inherently bad. Personally, I am totally OK with the term “T-girl” and I can find no evidence to suggest that the term originated in the porn industry (although it may be used there frequently).
Now back to the topic.
Kathryn’s comments are spot on! After a few years on hormones I find that even trying to open heavy office building doors kicks my butt.
I suspect that all of this tough talk comes from those who are either pre-transition and haven’t had much time in transition and still think they can be Rambo in a skirt. That sort of thinking will get you hurt, and you’re only showing your macho bravado and ignoring reality.
I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back keep me here to wait for me so I don't go back out and miss myself when I return.
It would seem that this is buried somewhere in the concept of Male Priviledge and how that defines and shapes our behaviors and our relationship to the world. Maybe that's one reason that makes adjusting ones thinking difficult?
DeeAnn
DeeAnn, I think you’re on to something.
When I became an Army officer after years of being enlisted, the hardest thing for me to learn was how not to be an enlisted soldier. This required me to radically alter my thought paradigm to take myself out of the norms of my former life.
Giving up male privilege is tough. I see trans women struggle with it, and I suspect that this may a contributing factor to all of this macho swagger. Thanks for sharing this.
I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back keep me here to wait for me so I don't go back out and miss myself when I return.
Mackenzie i would urge you to find therapy and information..
if you are a woman , thats just the way it is... you won't turn into a transsexual...you are or aren't
fear of safety is a reasonable thing to be concerned about... if you take precautions safety is pretty achievable however unfortunately how you appear to people will have a big impact on people's reactions to you..and some violence towards transsexuals comes from the families themselves...if you are in an environment today where people fight and violence is not uncommon, you are much more susceptable to it ...that seems obvious but transitioning or even dressing in the face of peers that have fist fights is recipe for disaster..
My wife is worried about me as I have very little situational awareness pre E.
Now, it's really bad, but I'm trying to not get in a situation.
Kris
Gee, that must have been like 0-60 in a heartbeat, relatively speaking.
Time is a very significant factor in all of this as changing, or adjusting, years and even decades of responses and perspectives is not the work of a moment.
It is still true that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure...
DeeAnn
This is the biggest reason for not assimilating in the new landscape of living a woman's life for transwomen. The denial by transwomen of the privilege that they bring from thei former existence is often staggering.
Women are incredibly aware of their surrounding. Once you lose your strength this is your real survival strategy.
"Never forget the many ways there are to be human" (The Transsexual Taboo)
Thanks for this.
Few things chap my hide more than pretentious PC'ness. I for one would not consider this a "safe space" if my language is constantly being policed.
You want to know a safe space? My house. There is no safer place for trans or queer people to relax and be themselves with no judgement. However it is NOT a very safe place for people who are offended easily or are 'triggered' by certain words. We are grown ups who love each other and love life. We have no patience for people who pretend or need to be treated like fragile china.
mentally you think that you are female only since birth n ignore if someone comment on you.
All problems will be solved.
so estrogen makes one weaker,wish some gg's i know got that memo,for they are far from being weak. muscle mass doesnt mean a thing,its how you handle yourself. ive never had male muscle mass,but fem muscle mass and could beat the snot out of many men who looked like rambo. what i dilike is excuses.
Last edited by Nigella; 07-04-2015 at 01:04 PM. Reason: Read the rules, the topic of weapons is not permitted on this forum
In the context of hormone therapy, yes it does
Agreed, but not everyone has the training to avoid a situation, and even those have been can be severely hurt if the cirumstances are wrongmuscle mass doesnt mean a thing,its how you handle yourself.
This thread has nothing to do with "beating the snot out of someone", its about avoiding the situation in the first place.ive never had male muscle mass,but fem muscle mass and could beat the snot out of many men who looked like Rambo
Nope what you don't like is someone not conforming to your view point.what i dilike is excuses.
Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said
The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another
It's silly season here, apparently. Pay attention so you don't miss it, because it's really short and simple.
Size matters!
Now the long version. ALL THINGS EQUAL (skills, etc.), bigger and stronger beats smaller and weaker. You can invent all the theoretical compensating mechanisms and circumstances you like, but if you meet in an equitable situation, you lose. Violence statistics bear that out. Avoid trouble.
Lea
size does not matter period,its the thought process. i guess most of you think women are weak,me i learneed first hand they are far from weak when they get rid of the woe is me attitude,and always being aware.
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