Have known several men who suffer from gynaecomastia and they must wear a bra. These men were very self conscious about the bra wearing.
When you don't know--don't ever say nuttin.
Jodi
Originally Posted by BLUE ORCHID
Hi Roberta, The man may be suffering with Gynaecomastia and wearing a bra .
I'm going to play the devil's advocate here (why stop now?). Gynaecomastia is most often fairly obvious...in other words, the bra would look at least a little filled. If that's clearly not the case, why not say make some friendly overtures, and if you seem to be on the same page, say something? I've thought about this carefully and tried to place myself in the same situation...and the answer I come up with is that I would not mind someone noticing my bra strap (or nails, or lace panty waistband, etc.) and commenting if they were friendly, sincere and from the same community.
Heck, at the next meeting ask him out for a cup of coffee or a beer. Talk about whatever the club's interest is based on. Get to know the guy. There is no reason to comment on his bra. I bet he was wearing panties and hosiery too!
Definitely treat him as a human being. Just because you both like bras doesn't mean you will be super special BFFs forever. Strike up a friendly conversation, get to know him as a person, and then bring up the bra strap thing if it comes up naturally.
I was really skinny as a teenager. I still am, but I have better muscle definition now. I got gynecomastia around puberty, except I didn't know what it was. I know now. It's not caused by being overweight. It's a hormone thing. So you can't say he is too skinny for it.
I don't know why people keep saying that a guy with gynecomastia would be wearing a bra. Most normal men would wear a compression garment to try and hide it, not a bra to try to enhance it.
oh why so cautious folks?
I'd wear a bra,obviously, go talk with him, make sure he notices, be friendly, and open up with something like, "hmmn, my bra's showing tonight" :-)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.
thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er
Periodically I clock another crossdresser and so much want to approach her and chat her up. But I don't. Maybe I'm wrong? Maybe she wouldn't appreciate a stranger in drab imposing on her space? Maybe she just wants to be left alone.
And then, maybe, like Hilde mentioned, we need a special secret handshake or signal to recognize each other. I know that many lesbians wear key chains on their belts or clothes... an outward sign to others of who they are? What if we had something similar?
Anyway, when I see someone whom I think is a crossdresser, I want so much to break the wall of loneliness and interact with a sister - to share a bond that must exist between us.
I suspect that if you keep observing you will see other clues such as how he sits or maintains his skin or whatever. I would not be too direct because you could easily cause him to never return to the meetings. If you are determined to know, engage him in normal conversation to learn about his life. In the espionage world this is known as social engineering. Just remember he is a person with feelings.
See if he is a regular or just a one timer. No one says you can't talk friendly and maybe over time drop subtle hints. I have found subtlety is better than a ball bat ( or cricket for our over the pond friends)
Last edited by Tammy Lynn Tx; 06-30-2015 at 10:20 AM. Reason: Spelling
He must be like me.
I am crazy to wear bra and panty.
Sometimes I take a calculated risk and wear bra beneath my male T-shirt.
Absolutely not. It would eventually be found out, and those of us who are closeted would be outed. So no thank you to the secret handshake.
Are you out? If so, you can just approach him when he's out of earshot from everyone else and ask. If not, it's more problematic.
BTW. Know how many people it takes to keep a secret? One. Because if more than that know, it's no longer a secret.
AFA engaging him in conversation, if you can find out his email, you can send him an anonymous message explaining that you crossdress and wonder if he'd like a friend who does (just create a free email address, either yahoo, gmail, or some other web portal that offers free email).
After all, as unlikely as it may seem, he may be wearing it because he has man boobs and needs the specific support.
Going up behind him and giving his bra strap a Twang might get you a punch in the nose. I'd avoid that one.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Perhaps he broke a collarbone and was wearing that bra-like brace that the Rx prescribes.
"Missed it by that much!"
My wife came home a number of years ago very angry and very upset. She told me that someone's brother was visiting his sister in a nursing home and he was wearing a bra. Then she turned her anger on me because she knew I was a CDer also. She wasn't accepting at that time. We separated a few months later but eventually did get back together.
If you approach them, you risk outing yourself in a social setting which you apparently are involved with regularly, if it turns out it is not a bra. If your wife snoops around with his wife and asks questions, you may out them to their spouse if they are not already out. If your wife did not know, would you want someone to out you in such a fashion?
Do not get me wrong, I'm an advocate for telling a spouse or Loved One early on in relationship. After a certain number of years, it sort of becomes discretionary on the dressers part, because only they know what they truly stand to lose or gain if they reveal later in a relationship. But to out another CD/TG/TS to their possibly unknowing spouse seems like a huge violation upon that person, and I am not so sure I could advocate that. If you wish to broach the subject and risk outing yourself, that is one thing; to out another, that is an entirely different thing.
Ever & Always,
Caden Lane
"These aren't 'women's clothes'. These are my clothes. I bought them with my own money."
Eddie Izzard
I'm flipping genders, what's your super power?!?!
Please visit my wordpress blog: http://southerncrossdresser.wordpress.com
All's well that ends well.
I saw my friend yesterday and was not surprised but happy to see she had gone full time and is on the path to be who she really is.
As we were waiting for the rest of our group to arrive she made a comment like "You're not even going to say anything? I expected more explaining." I told her we share more than one hobbyand since I am currently going through a purge I offered her first pick before I take it to the Goodwill.
I think I made a friend.
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