Angry Encounter

[STACY B]

I have seen this before,, Living down South it's not uncommon to encounter Crazy Old Guys with extreme values. An the early stages of some Dementia are showing signs of extreme anger for sure.

What's the odds of you encountering this Goof Ball again,, Me I would have had some fun with him, But that's just me and my Twisted Brain. Better not come up or out spewing your redneck wanna be beliefs on me,, I was the original Red Neck,, Easy,, Very Easy thing to be or portray ,, Just close your mind and don't Agree with anything unless EVERYONE else agree's . See how simple it is?

Trust this and Believe what I am telling you from a Vet, There is NOTHING those Clowns have or will ever do that this Clown hasn't done, So why fear them ????

Ohhhhhhhhh I don't ,, Maybe a MMA fighter that's it,, An I could give him a run too,, So pick and chose your battles,, Some are lost causes !

[Claire Cook]

It's not going to stop me. That level of hatred, based on my own experience, is extremely rare. It did shake me up, though. I could feel the hate! Over NOTHING!

I think all the press lately is causing a backlash. Gay marriage, Caitlyn, all the various things in the news... I hope the backlash is limited to angry old men. I guess they see that they're losing. They think we're all going to hell.

Hi Rhonda,

Like everyone else I'm so sorry this happened to you. Most of the discussion here has been about older people and dementia and it may (or may not) have been involved. But I think Jorga makes a good point. American society is changing, and has been since the 50's civil rights movement. There are, sadly, those out there who don't like where society is going (and it is not just angry old men), and I'm afraid we're seeing the backlash -- not so much as to what the press reports (after all, it is the news) but rather to these changes. We'll probably see more of this, but I am hopeful that such reactions are in the minority. I've had one or two comments like this in the past and chose to ignore them. I'd rather encourage positive interactions. As to going to hell, I'd rather stay in the Pink Fog....

[Maxi]

I would have had a comment like: You wouldn't let your Grand Daughter paint your nails? My little girl did a nice job huh? It would make him think.

This comes to mind, as my best friend came over one night just after my daughter painted my toe nails. I wasn't about to tell her no. She was like 3 or 4 at the time and did a pretty good job on them.

[joanna4]

First of all, I praise you for doing if for over 40 years. Thank you for your service if I could say.

I would have felt the same way you felt; shaken but continuing with my life and doing what is my definition.

I apologize that you had a terrible experience with this person. I do agree that they are rare as I have not experience this, but I will be prepared to and I hope others are as well. I do believe that they are inevitable, however, I hope that they will be impossible to encounter one day as times have changed and people are becoming more acceptable/tolerable. Good luck with everything.

[Rhonda Jean]

Thanks, everybody. Good points about cutting him some slack. I think Claire stated it really well about their reaction to a changing world. Guess I represented the embodiment of changing times. Never thought nail polish was so powerful. And Doc, just for clarity, I wasn't wearing a dress and I don't do the "man in a dress" thing, although I guess I see some similarity with my nail polish and purse.

This is such a rapidly changing time. Transgender is all the rage on TV. The Supreme Court decision on gay marriage. It's such a different world than it's ever been. Much more so when you look back several decades. It's all very empowering for gay and transgender people. It's a difficult pill to swallow for the "when men were men" generation. I have undying respect for those who fought for this country. I think they probably feel like for all they've done, this is what it's come to. A few years ago I had another angry encounter with a person who said exactly that (and more). I sometimes feel quite inferior to those who sacrificed so much. Always have. I suppose to him I represented some element of change that he had a hard time accepting.

[adrienner99]

A good lesson for us all. 50 years ago, his sort of behavior would have been more common. While things are better now, and the worst reaction I usually get is a snicker or an occasional bit of ridicule, there are still plenty of people who might treat us this way. I think hatred like this is base on fear, ignorance, and a lifetime of "being a man," meaning he was tough, aggressive, confrontational, and blindly followed rules and conventions someone else set down for him. His safety is in conformity. Differences scare him, threaten him. He would NEVER in a million years dare to be different and never have the courage to do what we do--dress as women and go out in public. The male side of me wants to beat the s--t out of the guy, no matter what his age....He is poison. Congratulations on dealing with it, and not letting it affect who you are...You have courage. He is an ignorant coward.

[docrobbysherry]

Please don't think I'm defending the angry old farht. But, being one myself it seems everyone is jumplng to conclusions about him.

Of course there r haters out there exactly like everyone described with all the motives you've mentioned. And, probably countless more. Which is why I don't enjoy going out dressed often.

But, he may not be any of them. Heck, u may just of reminded him of his loser nephew, Jared the drug dealer. Who wears earings, tatoos and carries his stash in a woman,s purse.

[Patrica Gil]

Hell, maybe he's just an angry person, there are a lot of them out there. Let it be his problem, not yours.

[melanie206]

The culture is slowly growing more tolerant but there's still are large component of repressed angry white men out there with reactionary views reinforced by talk radio and cable news. This one old man might have been losing his mind but I regularly encounter males who feel free to express their uninformed racist and sexist comments and are clueless about who they might be offending or how stupid they might sound. I feel better now.

[jigna]

Not to worry at all, be yourself.

[UNDERDRESSER]

It's easy to understand. Dude is probably marinating in that sceene. From that guy's perspective, the world is really coming to an end. On the inside, he's a distracted toddler ... you're the hat, and our country is the stuck elevator.

Good way of putting it.

I have hope for the future. My children are literlly mystified as to why anyone gives a crap about this stuff. Their children will grow up in a world where almost nobody does.

The reality is, the younger folks really don't care how you present. It is the older ones, and mostly the really old ones, who have problems and want to make trouble.

Yup, young teen that my GF mentors said "What's between my legs. and what I do with it, is nobody's business but me and whoever I choose to sleep with."

I hope though, that the powder keg these reactionary opportunists are stoking doesn't blow, and result in some sort of horrific Oklahoma City domestic terrorism thing along the way to our brighter future. Given the track record though ... well it seems only like a matter of time. Be safe out there, sisters.

Amen. When you get the chance, vote the A-holes out!

[BabyTia]

It's not happened to me yet. But I am so sorry to hear what happened to you, just don't listen to them... I know it's hard and it's going to be hard in the future if it happens again but try to think "I am a boss ass bitch" :P Because you are! Don't listen to them they don't understand the love and passion we have for this -Tia x

[Alice Torn]

I have had to help care for my mom, who died three yrs ago, and my dad, who is still at home at age 94+. I see some of my dad's anti-social, angry, bigoted side in me, which i have to constantly work to change. The world is in a lot of turmoil now, in every nation. Anger is in the air, sad to say, as overpopulation causes tension in all of us. I am truly surprised, that more angry out bursts are not happening,, because most people are on edge. It makes me, like Doc, reluctant to go out in public much. One more thing, I am getting older, in my 60's now, and my sister, is 66, brother , 64. My dad is in his 95th year. We will all be old timers someday!!! We do tend to be more irritable, and ornery in older age, as our bodies just don't want to cooperate with our minds, and our minds, don't want to be stifled, and quiet. We all will see things that offend us, and if we are in a vulnerable state of emotion, can blow up, or say flammable things . When we are elderly, there may be "new" trends, or things in society, that we don't like. Sad to say, in this world, we sometimes switch places. I know i have. Humble pie.

[Bethany_Anne_Fae]

"We" to the old guard are a hard sell. They are entrenched in their ways and beliefs. Some are coming around but there are many that will never accept us. You just have to move on and live your life. The old guard are dying off one by one and being replaced by more and more of the new generation of people who are growing up with acceptance. Its happening a little at a time, but its worth it.

Bethany

[PaulaQ]

Folks, be careful out there. It is possible there will be some limited, but nasty violence from this, random, hard to predict and prevent acts of violence from unstable individuals. A lot of us also expect the right to try more nasty things (and they are not disappointing so far.)

Watch your backs though.

[Claire Cook]

Paula,

Thanks -- we always learn from your experience and perspective.

[Marcelle]

Hi Rhonda,

Unfortunately there are going to be those who don't understand us and for some it is pure hate (likely hate everything that is not like them) and for others is discomfort. In the case of older folks I cut them a lot of slack the same way I cut giggly teens a lot of slack. Getting old is not easy for some folks as they see their way of life disappearing and that is a hard pill to swallow. They have gone from being the out front caretakers of the world to secondary and in some instances tertiary placement, watching from the sidelines as a younger set take on the role of caretaker. In a way it puts them in touch with their own mortality and when they see something that rankles them a bit, they are more likely to wear their distaste openly. It probably comes from years of pent up frustration, not living the life they wanted to live or just not being happy in general. Now this is not to say I wouldn't call BS on an older person who was outwardly rude or aggressive, but in the case of this gentleman who really said nothing until you engaged him, I would have let is slide and just went on with my day.

Isha

[Stephanie47]

I'm an older person. Over the years I've seen people just explode over everything. I think it's in the nature. I'm sure that elderly man went home and for the next week it ranted and raved to everyone about you and "your kind." Actually, I'm glad you did talk to him. That probably gave him more fuel for the fire in his belly. I'd be more concerned if the person doing the ranting and raving had the ability to do bodily harm. Just chalk it up to ignorance and the fact some really older people just are set in the ways of the past.

At least you know where this guy stands on the issue. Most people will just smile and stab you in the back later.

[Rhonda Jean]

I probably shouldn't have said anything. Looking back I don't know what I expected him to say. The reason he was angry was pretty obvious, even if unwarranted.

[Imalittlelost]

My dad is traumatically brain injured & I can totally see him doing something like this. He had a similar melt down when my niece showed up at a family party with a mohawk. He isn't completely in control of his actions, but I am in control of mine. I refuse to disrespect him & instead choose the 'kill him with kindness' angle. I'm not going to be able to change him & I've accepted that. Just an alternative viewpoint. -Jenn

[MelanieAnne]

I guess they see that they're losing.

Not sure what you mean by this. Who are "they", and what are "they" losing?

Back in '69 I was passing out antiwar leaflets in downtown D.C. when I handed one to an old lady she called me a communist (somewhat true at the time) and hit me upside the head with her umbrella.

I know that lady.ruth buzzy.jpg

[char GG]

I agree with Imalittlelost. I have a handicapped adult son who tries very hard to communicate with people but sometimes comes across as inappropriate. "Angry man" most likely has more problems going on than you could know. Sorry that happened

[Judith96a]

Maybe I'm a little old fashioned but for me CD is an all or nothing affair. I could never go out in guy mode with any femme stuff on or showing.

You're not being old-fashioned! I'm mostly the same. Except, recently I've taken to wearing lipstick while driving to & from work and while visiting a city in another country (with no opportunity to get fully dressed up) wore lipstick and eyeshadow all day.

Still a long way to go for men to be anything other than MANLY MEN and be fully accepted in the mainstream.

Agreed!

[Maria Blackwood]

I have to admit to feeling some schadenfreude these days. I never really identified with any community, but I was getting so weary of the religious forces dominating the culture on many fronts. Every week some school board voted to teach the world was 6000 years old or some other anti science, anti reality movement that was dragging the country backward.

Their anger and apoplexy at recent events is highly entertaining. I hope they all have something pop in their little heads. It's not like they were using their brains anyway.

As for people positing that the guy had other things going on, you're being too kind. Ideology can drive people with perfectly fine lives into rages over things that have no effect on them.

[Nadya]

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience being out. There's not much you can do to try and understand that type of hatred and I wonder if there's much you can do to fix it. Take some comforting that the times are changing and I think people with this type of anger will diminish. <3