When you are out dressed and you get "read", what do you do?

[Paulette]

I just ignore it ans continue to do what I was doing at the time. Most folks will not say anything and if they do if it is unkind I ignore it. If someone complements me on my outfit I politely say thank you and continue on. I dress to blend so being overdressed has not been a problem. After all of the years dressing and perfecting my look I can go most places and just not be seen at all. I do have a couple of GG friends who have helped me so much by correcting behavior that was not womanly. They also will go out with me to events and venues where even the GG's are in at least pairs. One thing I learned was to not hold the door for my female companion, this is something we all need to learn.

[chris63]

A transition in my thinking helped me with this issue. I'm not out to necessarily convince every person- I'll always have flaws and will never look fully like a GG. The reason I'm out is to express externally who I am internally. Of course, I want to do the best job I can but its about who I am and not what folks think.

[Angela Marie]

The more I go out the greater my confidence level becomes. Now if I do get read I generally keep walking. I have not had any confrontations since I think most people are deep down rather decent and while they be taken aback they won't try to humiliate you. I pass a bit easier because of my size, 5ft 6 145, and also i've found that as we age (i'm 61) the facial characteristics between men and women tend to blur a bit. Just my theory. In any event I enjoy my feminine side and i'm not about to let any closed minded person interrupt my journey.

[Tracii G]

I ignore them and go one with what I am doing as if they aren't there and leave them trying to figure out what I am.
There are some that "read" me and there are some that don't.
Most people don't care enough to make a big deal out of it.
I do get some that maybe have never come in contact with one of us and they have questions.I answer them as nicely as I can and always keep it friendly.
I find a lot of middle aged women and 20 something women are intrigued to some degree.
When I explain I am TG the most common reaction is "Oh well that makes sense". Not sure exactly what that means.LOL.

[AbigailJordan]

Okay, well I have the perfect example of this.

One night when I was still very much an after dark girl, I had been visiting a friend of mine in a nearby town. She was the first person I confided in and so obviously when going round to see her after dark in winter I would take the opportunity to "sneak out" en femme and then come back late when most people were in bed etc.

So, I'd spent the evening at my friends, and as I set off back, I decided I was starving and wanted something to eat, so I used an online app to order a pizza online from a famous pizza chain store named after a pub game. I drove to nearby and sat and waited until the app told me it was ready so that I could just walk in.. pick up.. and leave.

So.. the app tells me "your pizza is ready!!!" I take a minute to gather my composure and head in. As I enter the tiny store (2 seats and a counter in a tiny little waiting area). There is a young guy at the back of the store, maybe 18/19 etc.. he does the traditional double take and heads out back. 30 seconds later another guy comes back, then the original guy, and then a third one joins them,... none of them were very old and they stood there staring at me. quite obviously a "hey.. come look at this.. there's a guy dressed as a woman out here!!". I give them that look of "is anybody actually going to serve me here???" after what seemed like a long time but was probably just a few moments, the manager comes out, an older guy of mixed heritage, asks if he can help, I give my name and he says "oh.. it will just be another minute or two"

So firstly I'm annoyed at the app for lying to me.. and then I considered the wait.. at first I was thinking of using the excuse of a cigarette to go back and hide in the car, but then it hit me that I wasn't doing anything wrong, and that it was their problem. So I plonked myself down on one of the two chairs and I sat and waited, despite the fact that the 3 boys were still staring and talking quietly among themselves.. i just smiled at them whenever one of them looked over at me..

After what seemed like an eternity, the pizza finally arrived.. I thanked the manager.. blew a kiss at the boys at the back and walked out head held high.

More recently I've had better experiences.. recently shopping at co-op, the staff walking round the store were obviously more mature and acknowledged me kindly in every case. Even the guy on the till who was in his early twenties did not bat an eyelid as he served me. My makeup is much better these days so maybe I get made a little less often than I used to, but I still have a strong masculine face so anyone looking for it would, so far however, not one person has ever gone so far as "excuse me.. you ARE a guy right??" or anything like that

[Sometimes Steffi]

If it's a dude, I try to ignore him. I don't want a confrontation, so I don't do anything to threaten his masculinity.

If it's a chick, give her my biggest smile and look her right in the eyes. I'm generally not afraid of beibg beat up by a chick (there are some exceptions), and the smile tells her that I know that she knows, and that I don't care. I've actually gotten a number o very nice comments when I'v done that, like you look great, or some other affirmation.

[lily1974]

Ok I realize my following story is not about me being read as much as it is me reading other. Maybe a little tip on not getting read.

Yesterday me and my SO decided to stop and have coffee at a local large chain coffee shop. I know that one of its employees is a m2f transgender. Forgive my ignorance if that term offends anyone. Well the young lady was sitting with a friend outside the shop on her break. I noticed she had died her hair red and made the comment to my SO that I liked it but could never pull off the color. She laughed a little and said she loved me. Then she stated she wonders what happened to the young transgender that used to work there. My turn to laugh. I politely responded to her that she is now a young lady and has beautiful red hair. Ha score one for the cute barista. My SO took a double look and was floored. Other then I have that little nack of never forgetting a face she has completely blended into her femme self.

After we finished our drinks we decided to walk down the path to one of the many shops. While visiting the shop I caught a glimpse at another lady. I thought to myself "god I hope I dont look like that when I dress." she was wearing clothes that should have been on someone twenty years younger and had on tacky heels. I wanted to approach hee and comment what a bad outfit was doing and how it was completely outing her. I was nice and left it alone. We walked around the isle and somehow managed to get back next to the lady. As we got closer I thought I will just smile and keep going. No need to be rude. As I smiled thats when it hit me. She was gg and just really tacky.

Moral of the story. Dress and own your idenity and you will be less likely to be read. Dress trashy and it dont matter gg or not people will think something is up.

[krissy_toronto]

Thank you both -- the truth is that no one ever points and snickers at me (to date) or makes rude comments. But, it's just the feeling of being watched or stared at a bit too closely. It's unnerving. My instinct is to keep walking and ignore, but sometimes I wonder if I should do something else. People are very nice otherwise.

I'll come out with ya hun, my height is about the only thing I notice people staring at. LOL

[Helen 2]

First, I have to comment that it is more likely that ALL of us are read 100% of the time when any scrutiny is made. We shouldn't kid ourselves. It's more than a face, makeup, etc. it's a million cues.

Therefore, because I assume that every person that sees me knows that I am not a natural woman, i don't worry. I make eye contact. I smile. I say hello. I act like a person. I have never noticed anyone pointing or snickering, but if that happens, that's on them, not on me. If that were to happen right next to me and I noticed, I'd say hello and smile for sure.

WIN!!!!
;o)

[NoraTV]

I ignore them because I feel so fabulous.

[leannejacobs]

I've been out quite a lot, I'm very tall and am under no illusion that I pass when I'm in close proximity to others, I find the only people I'm weary of is males from early age to 30's, especially a group, I feel they are the most likely to make a scene, I've been made on a number of occasions and generally make off in the opposite direction, I was browsing in a store recently and was obviously made by a group of three young girls, they kind of followed me for a bit, giggling stupidly and loudly, as kids do, this drew unwanted attention so I took off, I must admit I've never had any hassle,.

I've had a few occasions where I've had the mind set that I just don't care what people think, they seem to be the best times, when you totally own it, I'm a straight CDer and have been seeking friendship from others in our spectrum, I recently met two at their house after talking online, it was so refreshing being able to relax and enjoy being dressed in the company of others.

[Helen_Highwater]

OK I don't get to go out that often and while I'm relatively relaxed these days there's still that element of excitement, that rush. So being oh so slightly nervous does tend to make me a bit more conscious of those around me and I know I get read by some. Most are too busy doing there own thing or if the do read me just don't care. I must admit to watching more for reactions from males and reading their body language. As it's posted here so often about staying safe I want my natural instinctive early warning system to tell me if what I've encountered is a knuckle dragging neanderthal with a point to prove so I can exit to safety. Other I just carry on and stay calm. I don't agree with making eye contact and even a slight smile with males. It could provoke the "You laughing at me?" response from an otherwise uneventful encounter.
My few encounters with SA's or other GG shoppers have all so far been at best pleasant and accepting, at worst slightly awkward. I suppose it just spurs me on to be better at my craft.

[Helen 2]

I normally smile, stand tall and continue on to my destination.

WIN!

Thankfully I am rather short at 5'7 in bare feet, usually 5' 11" in heels but I do have a rather unmistakable male face/features so at a reasonable distance, I'm usually not read but anywhere inside 20 feet I know I am read often....

Stand up straight, swish the head/hair a bit, smile genuinely and mouth 'hello' and go on doing what you were doing -specially the 'stand up straight, belly in and boobs out' part. Be confident, be proud. If people sense a weakness in you, they will tend to take advantage of it, so....no weakness. that's a give-away in and of itself......

[XemmaX]

keep walking or doing what your doing. someone will always double take you it's a fact of life and normally that's it.

[Loni]

I have never not been "read".
but most out there say and do nothing, young girls giggle,

I just go about what I am doing,
nothing just another great day as a lady.

.

[Beverley Sims]

Just keep on keeping on.
That's life.

[Carole/CCD]

Looking at your pics on flicker I bet you do not get "read " very often

[Richelle]

I just go about my business. If they start a conversation with me, then just talk to the as if I was any other women.

Richelle