How to manage CDing at Uni?

[JazT95]

Okay, for starters, I just want to say I'm in the closet and have no intentions of leaving. I almost enjoy living a double life and it's something I don't want to change

Anyway, I've been interested in crossdressing for ages, since I was around 6 or so, started properly dressing around the age of 14 and have progressing from there. Now, last summer I had quite a collection for attire: clothes, wigs, make up, accessories, everything. The problem was I was leaving for uni and living with 11 strangers for a year. Yeah I had a room with a lock, but I had nowhere to put anything or any way of transporting it there without notice. In fear of my mum rooting around my things while I was away and finding EVERYTHING, I made the really stupid decision to bin it all and do without while I was away - which sucked.

I'm back from uni for this summer now and I'm in complete euphoria. I haven't dressed in what seemed like forever and I'm currently slowly building back up what I had. The problem is I know in a couple of months I'm going to have to leave again, this time to a house with only 3 others (whom I know well know), with even less privacy. This time I'm adamant that I don't want to waste everything I've literally just bought. My question is to those that maybe had a similar problem - maintaining crossdressing at uni, and is there any advice you could give me on how to?

This year will be slightly different in that I'll have a car and can visit home on some weekends. Maybe an idea will be to keep everything locked away in the loft or something while I'm gone?

Thanks for any help in advance

[Kate Simmons]

Well, there is no book titled "CDing at Uni 101" but I have found over the years nothing is impossible if I really want to do it. This is where ingenuity comes in.

[Sarah-RT]

keeping your clothes under the mattress would be a good start, in the void space under a chest of drawers or at the back of a wardrobe under regular clothes. Unless the people you live with are nosy they shouldnt really be rummaging through your male clothing? I think the notion of hiding things causes us to be more paranoid than is necessary, for an example if you make a comment about female clothing in front of someone you worry you think you'll have given the game away yet if you tell them you crossdress they'll have had no idea.

A bedroom doorlock is all you really need!

Sarah x

[AnnieMac]

Ok at the risk of sounding like your father - or mother perhaps -)
Get your priorities straight girl!! You're at Uni now - Focus all of your energies on your success in that!
Pack the cross dressing undies away somewhere for awhile until you graduate.
There will be plenty of time for cross dressing in life for sure after that.
Besides you might end up meeting a lovely English Co-ed along the way.
-I wish you much love and success
-Unfun Annie!

PS Besides being at the University is the perfect time to explore your male side, if you get my drift, and that time is short. You won't
get the opportunity to be in that environment again.

[Katey888]

Thanks Jaz, it's been a few decades since I had to worry about this particular issue...

Looking back I didn't have a great deal and that's probably my preferred recommendation: don't get too much and no more than you can safely keep with you - I would be very wary of leaving stuff with the parents... you never know when they decide to clear out the loft, start remodelling rooms, etc. If you wish to remain closeted then the risk isn't worth it.

If you only have a relatively small amount of girl stuff you can keep it with you and keep it in a large sports holdall with a padlock or pick up a cheap, large locking suitcase - that should keep any roomies' inquisitive, drunken, burrowing at bay.

I hate to say it but I've lived the secretive aspect of this and it's the only way to be IF you don't want to be accidentally outed... and I wouldn't want to be at your age - for me the desire took a back seat as uni, work and girls (not necessarily in that order... ) occupied more of my time.

Katey x

[AllieSF]

If you are a good student and know how to prioritize your important things to do and accomplish, I think that the Uni is a great place to explore this side of you. I like the idea of a solid and very lockable, using a very good lock, to keep your stuff in. If you can lock your door then do that from day one. Consistency of actions is always best because it raises the least questions. starting to lock your door mid semester may raise additional questions. Do not room with any friends, nor people from where you grew up. By dressing up while you are studying, you will get a great opportunity of learning more about this side of yourself and how important or not this is for you. I would guess that your Uni would have some type of LGBT support center or groups that you could join too. You may find a kindred soul with whom you could then maybe share an apartment with and have even more freedom. Since all of the LGBT is more open, protected and common at Uni's than it was so many years ago, I see it as a place to really experiment and grow with it. It would also be a great place to go out the first time, so far from home, if you ever change your mind.

[Judith96a]

I don't know if they still exist but, when is went to uni I had a large cabin trunk (it was a two man lift when full!). Very useful for keeping things in! So... If they still exist, and you haven't already got one, get one, stash it in your room at uni (preferably very casually) and make sure that everyone knows that you keep spare clothes in it (moan plenty about not having enough wardrobe space). It's called "hiding in plain sight"! O, and make sure that you have some boy clothes as the top layer, AND that for the first few days it's unlocked, but has plenty of stuff on top of it.

And... Good luck. Enjoy uni!

[Jaylyn]

Universities are for exploring and learning new things, different ideas, and figuring out what you might want to do in life. My suggestion is similar to Annie's explore all that it has to offer. There's lots of life left after the education so live life to the fullest and when you earn that degree you can find a job that will buy lots of clothes and accessories.

[LeslieSD]

Boys at college age can often be stupid, and I can understand that you do not want to expose that side of you to potential harmful opinions. This is also the time that a lot of people meet their life long mate, so it makes sense to be careful there too.

But I would agree with the previous comments that this is the best time of your life for exploring new aspects of you. Remember popularity or coolness among peers are all temporary, and your happiness is the thing that matters most. Keep an open mind and be honest (listen to us older folks here), you will have a very enjoyable time there (and more to come).

I wish I was that young.

[Samantha2015]

I don't know about the UK but here in US there are a million self storage places one on just about every corner.
Americans seem to have a problem with storing our junk and need extra space to store stuff we no longer use but can't throw out.
If you are old enough to rent one maybe get the smallest space they have.

[JenniferR771]

Good advice above; and...be sure to have a couple zippered "garment bags" in your closet. Very handy for housing and protecting the odd tuxedo--and also will hold about four cute dresses on hangers.
Just remember--have a calm attitude and a good coming out story if you get caught.
Be ready to accept the risks of discovery.

[AllieSF]

Leslie has said it better than I did. If you explore when you can now, and keep up with your studies and other things, you will be so far ahead on the trans experience curve than probably most here on this site. You will probably only have a few regrets about this time of your life. As we get older, and being very old right now, I can say that what seemed important then, or was the thing to do then, is not what my mind tells me I should have done then. Live your life as fullest as you can. Unless you believe in reincarnation, you only get one to live, which unfortunately can end at any time and age and many times at the least opportune moment!

[Nancy Sue]

"Oh, that stuff? Haven't you ever dressed up for Halloween, or Mardi Gras? Or one of your girl friends wants to borrow it and you tossed it. Its a shame to throw it all out, or give it to the thrift store, and its expensive so you don't want to have to buy it again later. Its just easier to keep it around, since it doesn't take up much room." Or -
"Well, I have a thing with girls. Everyone who stays the night must least something here when they go." Or ???

[Vickie_CDTV]

Actually, there is a guide of sorts for this. There is a series of videos on hiding your dressing while in college over at tgforum.com by a young student in the same situation.

I was actually in this situation myself in the late 90s... thank goodness I was able to get my own private room. Interestingly enough, I came out to a friend in college... who 12 years later got in touch with me again and told me he was a dresser too but could not face it back then and actually dress up and admit it... go figure!

[NickyLycra]

You know ..... showing an interest in photography turned out to have its advantages.
I was for ever doing every pretty girls portfolio .... and a good photographer knows how to do makeup and has his own kit.
And that bag of lingerie and womens clothes there ..... well I love styling too ... some girls just can't put themselves together.

[ange_o]

A lockable trunk or footlocker is what I used to keep everything safe when I was at uni. A blanket and then a few other things on top in it just in case anyone asked what was in there.

[Lady_Fiona]

Ammo can with a lock. Irony FTW.

As for actually being able to dress up, just time it right. Stay at the house/apartment you're living in the weekend everyone wants to go out of town. Just make sure you wait a couple hours after they leave in case they show up they won't find you half way dressed up.

[bcpmax]

Well it just so happens that I have had to figure out dressing at college(uni?) too. My strategy has become increasingly more lax. At first I was very careful storing my clothes and would hide my girl things in a drawer in a single layer under 2 layers of my guy clothes. The next year I realized the probability of my closet being opened by my roommate was near zero, so I just hung my clothes in the closet normally and was careful not to leave it open when I left the room.

In terms of finding time to dress, I was very lucky my first year to find 2 open minded people who were roommates and would let me dress in their room. My second year I wasn't so lucky and only dressed 3 or 4 times when I stayed in my dorm a day after break started when my rommates had left; I did underdress a bit in the winter though.

Hope this helps.

[JazT95]

Sorry I couldn't reply to this sooner, but I've been really busy with work recently!

Just wanted to say thank you for all the advice, I think I'm going to struggle, but I'll manage It should get better after this year anyway, 3rd year I'm going to start commuting to make everything easier haha