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[lily1974]

Okay I know a similar conversation was started on this but felt it waranted its own thread. It was brought up "what you would call a young enfemme man vs a "tom boy"? It brings to mind a conversation I have had with my mom off and on since I was young. Because I have always been interested in sewing, shopping and other "lady like" things. She always seemed and seems to find a way to ask me if Im gay in one sentence then tell me same sex relationships are a sin. That being said it kinda makes me wonder how many how many other people thought the same thing when I was younger.

Anyone else get stereo typed like this when they were younger and want to scream back "Yes and I like dressing like a girl too".

[BillieJoEllen]

I have just finished answering a similar thread about being dressed by your mother. For some reason while growing up I was always characterized as a 'sissy'. Many of my aunts and uncles would call me that or tell me to act more like a boy. I tried my darndest to fit in with all the other boys. As it usually happened though I always seemed to wind up playing to with the girls. At that time I never desired to crossdress. What hurt the most was when my father would call me a sissy. He even told me on a number of occasions that I looked like a girl.

[Ceera]

Either Sissy or Effeminate would seem to apply to the male version of a tomboy - a boy that likes girly things.

[Mary Lee]

I like the word Tom-girl.

[Roli F]

I had a conversation with a GG who coined the word "Dudette" for a guy who likes girly stuff but is straght

[Christie ann]

I was called a Nancy girl as a kid when I couldn't handle being in left field. I didn't know where that came from but the kids who called me that thought they were quite clever. Problem was is that yes, I did want to be Nancy...Oh Ya, those were the days.

[Angela Marie]

I always played sports and hung out with the guys when I was younger even though I knew I had feminine leanings. I hid it very well. I'm 61 now and grew up in a much different era. I had to listen to all the comments about girly men, sissies, etc. I have a different take on it than most. The people; family, friends, etc grew up in a different era and were the product of the times. I bear no ill will toward any of them as they were fundamentally good people. Given the changes in society they may very well have been more understanding today. I always try to see the good in people. It's hard sometimes but it's usually there.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lily, I guess that I was lucky as I never had to endure that.

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

I mainly got it from my brothers because I wasn't tough enough and didn't get into fights very often. I fought quite a bit, but mainly to hide from family. If you lost a fight, you got beat up at home then had to go fight the person again.

[Belle Cri]

Always always always. Constantly. Throughout my dating and somewhat questionable married lives, always - "are you sure you are not gay?" And I would characteristically look offended as I pulled the soufflé out of the oven.

Um. Well. Kinda. Yes I am - well, bent with hugely straight tendencies, I've been quite open about that, and well a bit too much on top of that - but no worries now. I've just always been that way and suffered horrific agony over my life because of it. I would call such a young man a young man and treat him with the empathy and respect he gives to me. When I was just on the verge of manhood - 17 and going to college, my mother's former finance took me under his wing in NY. He was a beautiful man, who tragically died, and he taught me a great deal. While I will not go into details, I will say that he taught me that it is good to be different, and he showed me how to be loving and respectful within the same gender under concededly odd circumstances (and no we did not).

It's taken years to learn that there was really nothing to fear, although I lived in dread fear for decades of being found out, spotted, outcast, etc. - much the same as anyone here has gone through. I am uniquely fortunate in my SO, and so my advice would be, regardless of gender, focus on who really, really loves you, not themselves, but you, and follow fortune accordingly.

[Krisi]

Unless you're trying to insult him, I wouldn't call him anything unusual. "Sissy" or "Nancy Boy" are pretty insulting. Is there any reason to call attention to his likes or actions?

[Belle Cri]

Billie - I was threatened by my father with death, quite literally, on this subject. I love and revere the man to this day, however. To this day, as a linguist, I am inordinately sensitive to hurled inequities and slights. I really don't think derogatory references to one's children are ever acceptable under any circumstance.

[Tracii G]

I really don't think derogatory references to one's children are ever acceptable under any circumstance.[/QUOTE]

I agree with this statement.

[pamela7]

hmmn, a boy who did not have it all together male-wise would be called "a big girl's blouse" in my youth ... that at the time felt insulting, now it's hilarious and sa big "yes I'd love to be wearing one" (if i'm not already)!