Stressed in Laundromat

[ChristinaK]

Sitting here wondering if my best friend is going to walk in with his daughter.

I'm full en femme minus makeup and wig, but hair is done up nice. All my delicate and women's laundry in dryer. He texted that he is next door at an Italian restaurant we go to.

I had told him earlier that I'm doing my laundry. Rushed out and hid car in back. Stuck here until clothes dry.

That's what I get for dressing up, I guess. This sucks and I'm not going to know what to say if they walk in. I guess "hi" would have to do. I'd better dial 911 and be ready to push call when I have my heart attack!

That's exactly why many of you don't go out.

[pamela7]

best friends need to be told. it was such a relief when i told/showed mine. He was completely accepting. Youngsters these days are so much more accepting also. Pop into the Italian!

[ChristinaK]

Well, my buddy is 50 and a little old fashioned. He may have discovered my clothes one night that I wrote about in a previous post, but never said anything. He was pretty drunk then. He really looks up to me and it would be hard on him as he has absolutely no understanding of crossdressing.

But, I dodged the bullet. They didn't come in, but I did some sweating until I was able to clear the joint. He is prone to doing something like that. I had to quickly steal my womanly garments on hangars and my womanly self down the sidewalk and around the back. When I drove away his truck was gone. He was supposed to be taking his teenage daughter sightseeing today and they live about 8 miles away anyway in a big city. Go figure.

As soon as I got the text, I ceased feeling like Christina and felt very ashamed. Not a nice feeling at all. Definitely ruined my outing, but it turned out for the best!

Maybe someday he will find out. Then I'll find out how strong our friendship really is. I wish I could tell him, but even if I didn't lose a friend, he would most likely not want me to mention it again and he would lose respect for me.

Where I normally live, I don't know anybody. So, going out has very little risk. Now I have some semblance of what you girls anguish over that live in small towns and have friends and family in abundance.

Isn't it strange that we have so much to risk, yet the desire to dress and express our feminine side is strong enough to overcome the risk?

[ReineD]

As soon as I got the text, I ceased feeling like Christina and felt very ashamed. Not a nice feeling at all. ... I wish I could tell him, but even if I didn't lose a friend, he would most likely not want me to mention it again and he would lose respect for me.

You might in the future consider going out to the next town over (lunch, coffee shops, shopping, etc), rather than continue to go to the places where your friends and acquaintances are apt to walk in?

A word on feelings of shame: in my opinion, you need not be ashamed. You feel a need to dress, this is how you are, and you are not hurting anyone. It's a part of your fabric.

My own SO chooses to not dress in our town, not because he is ashamed but because he recognizes that most people have not developed the same understanding about the CDing as our CD/TG/TS community. We can get people to tolerate or at least be polite about it and certainly the people we know would never say anything to us about the CDing if they knew, but we cannot change how they feel about it, no matter how they feel ... whether they believe this to be a harmless lark or kink, weird, or aberrant. It's sad, but because we do not live in a world where a significant number of men enjoy putting on feminine things, most people (not all) lag behind our community's understanding that it is OK for men and women to express a different gender, even if celebrities "in principle" are lauded for "being so brave" by a fair chunk of people.

In other words, just because people don't get it does not mean you need to feel shame. Think of it this way: if your friend were a CDer, he'd have the same feelings about it as you do!

So I understand why you do not want to tell your friend. You cannot change his core beliefs. But, you could certainly choose to go out to places he is not apt to go to?

[Krisi]

You don't have to tell your friends that you are a crossdresser. Once you tell one person (other than your wife who has good reason to keep a secret), you might as well tell the world. Telling him you were going to the laundromat and then going there partially dressed is almost like you want to be caught. And what will his daughter think? And what will he think about his daughter seeing you dressed in women's clothes. Also, if you are out "full en femme minus makeup and wig", in your home town, it's pretty clear that you want to be caught.

You've made your bed, now it's time to sleep in it. If you don't get caught this time and don't want to be caught, think things out before you venture outside the next time.

[ChristinaK]

KRISI,

Thanks for your feedback, but I'm not in my hometown. I'm 2000 miles away. Even if I were, nobody knows me there as I don't have a hometown. Ex military.

My buddy was supposed to be at an aquarium many miles away. He lives about 8 miles away and never gets in this area unless he's here to see me, which he was not. He took his daughter to a restaurant that he likes, which I did not anticipate.

You are correct in that I would have been devastated in his daughter seeing me, as well as he would have been.

A perfect storm, so to speak. Thankfully, disaster was averted.

Reine,

Thank you for your thoughtful words. It is difficult to kep my head high sometimes, but I do tend to push the limits just to make us more a part of the masses.

As I stated earlier, my buddy does not ordinarily hang around this area. Complete surprise. He has showed up in the lobby a couple of times waiting for me. So, it's fairly unnerving to enter my hotel en femme. So, if he's there waiting on me some day I guess we'll have a talk. I definitely don't want his daughter to be there. But, she is leaving next week.

Hugs,

Christina

[Tracii G]

Well you made it out alive LOL.
I was out shoe shopping one day enfemme and my youngest daughter and her husband were at the end of the aisle I was in.
It was a GASP !! moment for sure. He looked right at me but I guess he didn't make the connection from 20 feet away.
Nowhere to run so I grabbed a pair of shoes and sat down to try them on.
Both walked right by me while I had my head down tying the shoe strings.

[Sarah-RT]

Christina while I've never had a situation like that I've had a similar panic alarm when say a friend would ask could they check something on the Internet on my phone or make a call because of the photos I have on it or this website on an open tab but I've since told all my circle of friends and they are great about it, it could be my generation simply.

With regard to your friend looking up to you, my best friend I thought I would never tell, he is very macho, into the gym, ufc, sports etc and he has a "badass" attitude which I have when I'm in male mode and I felt if any cracks appeared in that he would freak out, we go to football games together and go drinking and try to hook up with girls at a bar etc but it turned out he was one of the strongest supporters of our two gay friends, and now he accepts me too, I had told him when we can crack jokes about it it'll become normal, he said yesterday when we were drinking that there is an awful lot of single lesbian women these days and that's a gap in the market I could get in to, so now it's normal.

You'll never really know how a person will respond until you tell them but don't assume it is all pitch forks and torches.

Sarah x

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Christina, That's what makes the game so much fun.

[Krisi]

Christina, I still don't understand why you dress as a female but without your wig and makeup and then worry about being seen or recognized. You're a "man in a dress" and you're going to be pretty obvious. If you don't want to be seen, put on the wig and use enough makeup to at least cover your beard shadow. And a bit of lipstick. You may not pass to everyone, but the wig and makeup will throw most folks off long enough for you to move on.

And of course, dress for the occasion and time of day. Heels and a cocktail dress at the Laundromat at noon will give you away.

[pamela7]

Krisi is right, I could walk past most people i know well while dressed and made up + wig, and they would not recognise me.

[Samantha2015]

And of course, dress for the occasion and time of day. Heels and a cocktail dress at the Laundromat at noon will give you away.

Well crap, there goes my plans for the day !!

[ChristinaK]

You girls crack me up! Samantha, your reply is really funny.

Sarah, thanks for the advice. I would really like to confide in him, but he is from another generation and is discusted with the world of today. Too many blurred lines. I think he would really be freaked out.

Krisi,

It was over 100 degrees and I was dressed like any other woman, in jeans and I think it was a polo shirt and bra. Hair curled, could be a little too feminine for a man. Also had on womens watch, bracelet and womens sneakers. Most people don't pay much attention. I felt girly and looked pretty girly unless one looked directly at me, which people at that laundromat are not prone to do. I have had a few people check out my nighties, panties, etc. They assume they're mine or my wifes, but don't seem to be overly interested. That makes me feel some semblance of acceptance by the huddled masses. I like that. No pitch forks and torches yet. There are some really tough characters there sometimes, but none have ever made an issue. "Another crazy white dude," is probably what they think.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it's sticky and gooey sometimes, but there's a cherry there somewhere.