Does anyone miss being a guy? I know, stupid question but I've thought a LOT about it lately and just curious?
Does anyone miss being a guy? I know, stupid question but I've thought a LOT about it lately and just curious?
Well, I have never been one, so I can't really answer.
I just look like one...sort of..but that's OK.
Kris
Disclaimer: I'm not presenting as female at work yet, although it looks like that change is probably happening sooner than I originally thought (and honestly can't come soon enough; it's getting kinda ridiculous). I'm full-time everywhere outside of work, and I'd be shocked if most people at work don't at least suspect.
No, I do not miss being a guy, primarily because I never actually was one. You might as well ask me if I miss being a velociraptor. The more I talk to friends old and new, the more I realize that even the things I thought I had in common with most guys weren't actually commonalities. Much to their chagrin, I've given up on trying to answer questions from my girlfriends about guys because I pretty clearly don't actually have any special insight into their (often dumb) behavior.
What I do miss occasionally is simplicity and sleep. I miss waking up, doing nothing, and leaving the house at least semi-comfortably. HRT is doing great things for me, and hopefully a few more rounds of the extremely-nice-but-ultimately-evil technician shooting laser beams at my skull will improve that a bit.
Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.
Thanks for the replies, I hate to admit it but I think I'm greedy, I get the 'male privilege' and I'm having a tough time letting it go I think 😣
Last edited by Robin414; 07-24-2015 at 11:21 PM.
"Male Privilege" is like Tinkerbell. If everybody stops believing in it, it disappears forever. Please stop clapping.
I have literally zero idea of how you identify or what your intentions are, but when it comes to male privilege I very humbly request that you be part of the solution and stop perpetuating it by clinging to it.
Last edited by Zooey; 07-24-2015 at 11:32 PM.
Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.
really? maybe time to rethink where you're going
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
No. No I do not. Not even one bit.
She's not being snarky. I seriously don't know one trans girl who misses being a guy. Granted I don't know ALL of them, but PaulaQ might. (sorry girl, couldn't resist) :-)Originally Posted by Lorileah
I would hate to see someone go through what I've been through, and then miss being a dude. You may want to chat with some of the middle path ladies.
Sorry but being male isn't all that it is cracked up to be!
Miss it, yeah sort of like a tooth ache, its much better when it's gone.
never had much insight on being male,just got used to trying to play one,kinda like a ftm transexual tries to play male..always wondered about those male privaleges are,never got the handbook.
Too soon to comment accurately but seeing as I identify as female, why would I miss it?
I'm only five months full-time and I can't think of anything worse that going back to being a guy.
As for male privilege, I have always been aware of it on some level but never took advantage. The whole boys club thing was alien to me.
The only time I notice the difference is when people automatically treat me as knowing less or nothing about a subject they just assume a guy knows.
It happens at work sometimes, DIY stores and mechanics mainly it's no big deal for me, I feel right in a woman's world.
Sometimes it annoys me as there is an arrogance or sexist undercurrent to it.
I think 'you have a damn cheek'! I have never thought, 'I miss that'.
With our equality values, I imagine it's not as big a difference in Britain as elsewhere in the world.
Last edited by becky77; 07-25-2015 at 03:26 AM.
Hi Robin,
Although I am not TS (kind of like the "middle path" term ) I will add my two cents as there are days when I identify as a woman. On those days which currently is now on day 4 or 5 (sorry lost count), I do not miss my guy side in fact I don't even think about him. Don't get me wrong he is there lurking behind my eyes the same way my girl side is when I am guy, but I don't miss him. However, I do all the same things I would do "guy or girl" and that includes working out (just a different outfit), yard work, errands, DIY jobs, and work - so there is nothing to miss about doing what I normally do. However, I just don't think about him. When I am presenting as a man, I enjoy him the same way I enjoy being a woman and this is not a "male privilege thing" it is just a feeling that he is part of me the same way she is part of me and I love them equally. Funny thing though and this is something I have discussed with my therapist at length . . . while I do not miss my guy side when presenting as a woman, I do on occasion miss my girl side when presenting as a man.
Cheers
Isha
Seriously !!! With statements like this, is it small wonder why we no longer have a strong FTM membership, what makes the statement worse is that it is coming from a self identified MTF transexual. I guess you are playing at female then?
Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said
The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another
really? really??? a FTM transsexual tries to play male????
if someone is FTM TS, they aren't trying to "play" being a male, any more than someone that is a MTF TS person is "playing" being a woman.
jesus. where do you come up with this shit?
Last edited by steftoday; 07-25-2015 at 06:29 AM.
When the answers escape us when we start to fade
Remember who loved you and the ones who have stayed
Cause my body will fail, but my soul will go on
So don't you get lonely I'm right where you are
First up Cheryl- Shame on you.
Although I was never male, I got pretty good at playing one.
Do I miss acting male? Never
Do I miss dressing male? Never
Do I miss guy stuff? I still do all the stuff I used to. What's wrong with a woman with a nail gun?
Do I miss male priviledge? Never had any.
More and more, even my memories of 'being' male are fading.
Cheryl I can't believe your statment.
If you don't know you ask.
Oh and for your information no one who is TS plays at anything.
For some it can be a life long struggle.
I remember watching a TV documentary on PBS about two guys who transitioned and eventually "de-transitioned" (back to guys) so I suppose there are some out there.
Do I miss 'being' a guy? I would instead ask: Do I miss acting as a guy?
No, not at all. There is absolutely nothing about presenting as a guy that I miss. I'm much happier with my life and with myself now.
I grew up looking like a white male. That would label me as the new minority. I always perceived that ladies were the true privileged class. Since I came out at work (still dress as male, waiting for name/gender change), the guys treat me as female. I can't even replace a headlight on my truck without one jumping in to do it for me. AND I LOVE IT!
Leah
Be nice; It don't cost nothing.
No-one who has met FTMs would make such a comment. Most absolutely drip with guyness, so much so that it's almost startling.
Lea
I miss hanging out with guys, especially other musicians, but not being one.
Last edited by Frances; 07-26-2015 at 08:57 AM. Reason: Super important missing word
It's Frances with an E, like Frances Farmer. Francis is a man's name.
To put it another way, since I'm not full time, I always feel a degree of exasperation, frustration, resentment, and sadness when I'm obliged to present as male. I never experience the opposite feeling.
I'm not altogether convinced that there is anything more than a residual or vestigial sense of male privilege anymore. In my narrow world...healthcare, most professionals are women. But listening to science and business, I'm struck by how women are transcending men in so many fields. I feel like I'm joining the winning team.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Guy stuff never did it for me before, so there is nothing to miss now.
Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said
The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another
@Cheryl - my boyfriend is FtM. He is a police officer who works in the most dangerous areas of the city, and has over his entire 25 year career. He has been decorated for valor in the line of duty multiple times, and he deals with situations that many other cops are afraid to handle. He's done this while facing prejudice and discrimination from his department - his first few years they deliberately put him into the MOST dangerous situations in the hopes he'd be injured, killed, or at least frightened off. He wasn't.
He is more of a goddamned man than any cisgender dude you've ever known, I can assure you of that. The FtM's I've known are generally BETTER men than the cis guys I know, because they had to fight for stuff that just gets handed to the cis guys.
@Robin - I hated every second of being a man, and I would never go back. I'd rather die, than do that.
I don't know if you try to irritate people, but I do know I won't believe anything you say now.
How can a true TS ever make that statement?
You seem full of it to me.
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