Yes. I believe everyone thinks about it sooner or later.
However, it would be just a passing thought while being who you are now.
Life is very complicated, not even close to an exact science. People always think what if I didn't do this or that? Did I do the correct thing?
That is all normal. The trick is to move on and just enjoy life.
TO OVER WEIGHT TO POST A PHOTO, MY wife tells me I look like I am pregnant
You may believe it, but that don't make it true.Originally Posted by Gerrijerry
I have never regretted transition and I have never missed being a man. If my friends are being honest with me, (and why wouldn't they?) I don't know any other Trans girl who regrets living out loud either.
Though I think we all wish the world would relax a little bit.
Is that the same as missing being a guy or some aspects of it? There were many times in my transition I questioned if I was doing he right thing or not, and even a few times when I did regret what I had done. But that was not for missing the guy I was, it was from external pressures (dealing with the losses, family, friends, the job). The trip was hard for awhile. Sometimes it seemed to hard and I would have been better off where I was.
you beat me to it...
outside of a major WTF meltdown I had about 3 months prior to full time I can honestly say I never regretted anything..
here's the thing, when you live out your nature authentically the thought doesn't even occur to you...there is nothing to think about...at least for me..
As it happens, this week I was thinking of my former identity as a male and for the life of me many aspects of that life I have either completely forgotten or had trouble remembering. Bottom line, I don't miss being a male at all.
“When it comes to life, we spin our own yarn, and where we end up is really, in fact, where we always intended to be.” ― Julia Glass
That sucks....and is very real. I have had a great experience at work. Great enough to be wondering if I still carried some level of privilege because those I had worked with pre-transition (most everyone) just treated me the same way because that is how they always treated me. If this is true, then it will start (or has) sliding away slowly until someday I will notice it is gone. My similar story is that this week, I had someone dismissing me, which is new. I asserted myself hard and was a little worked up. As I walked away with two old friends, I told them that if he did that again, I would go all low voice on him.
First, privilege does not necessarily mean that you were given anything. The main principle is the assumption of difference. Said another way, first among equals. As I said, it is like air. The way the culture works, it surrounds us whether you are aware or not; whether you take advantage or not. You may not see it, but that doesn't mean that it is not present.
Don't hang you hat on the wine list example. It is merely an example to show how this construct occurs without asking for anything. The waiter would be deferential because he/she thinks that the male expects this treatment. The male customer would not need to ask.
Also, be aware that the full effect of male privilege to more powerful than female privilege. And further, perhaps you could say that female privilege exists because males allow it to. Now, I said Perhaps; it is just a theory.
DeeAnn
It's not prective model (a theory). It's a dogmatic ideology that requires a major confirmation bias and a healthy does of misandery.
I am starting to think that most CDers forumites were major white alpha males before transition.
Like I said, I feel more "privileged" now that before. Like Marilyn Monroe said "I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it."
Being clocked negates any chances of experiencing cis-gendered female privilege. The transitioner who gets read has less privilege than any cis-gendered woman. It sucks, but it's a fact. Black males also experience less privilege than white males (the major demographic of this forum).
I am NOT SAYING that male privilege does not exist. I am saying that there is female privilege as well and that every group has privileges and hardships. For one, women have the privilege of not being labelled potential pedophiles and forced to change seats if they are seated next to unaccompanied children in a plane.
I am not a crossdresser. I am a post-op woman who transitioned socially six years ago. Don't you think I have a good idea of what it means to live as man and as a woman in the world?
One more thing, I am not American. I live in a society that is mostly unreligious and egalitarian. Patriarchal hierarchies are not de facto where I live.
It's Frances with an E, like Frances Farmer. Francis is a man's name.
It is a male world. This country gave womanhood a foot up on the ladder of equality. Yet when I was working in the corporate environment, there certainly was a male code. Tall males were always on top. There were a few women and they had to play the game. I remember many men saying they would never work for a woman. I am a male typically. Went to a convention last week and had to be the male self as I am publicly known as one. Yet I saw a publisher editor who was regarded well and she appeared to be a strong woman. But as the back cover of my books show, I am a male author.
Part Time Girl
It was offered as an unresearched guess. No more, no less.
Perhaps, but there is no way to tell. There don't seem to be many people here that know other members.
Yes, but remember the phrase: "Well behaved women seldom make history..." which is another way of saying that one probably needs to be outside of the usual limited expectations held for women in order to truly shine. Very difficult otherwise.
Consider this in relative terms. When it comes to major things like promotions and raises in the workplace, for example, female privilege won't help much.
Yes, it is a unique opportunity to witness both sides of the same coin. However, what I've said is based on looking at the construct of privilege and how it works. It is not based specifically on looking at this from a crossdresser or transsexual perspective. The construct exists first. The crossdresser or transsexual aspect is just an additional twist, but the construct remains the same.
As I've said, from the female perspective, we know what we've been talking about as sexism. All of the ISMS (sexism, racism, agism, homophobia, disability discrimination, etc.) work in the same manner. Some people are afforded "more than" status and others are afforded "less than" status. The basis for this is things that we cannot change: our sex (in the inherent sense), our race, our LGB status, our age, etc.
While I don't know where you live, I will say this. Offhand, I don't know of any countries where women outnumber men in local, regional and national government. Also offhand, I don't know of any countries where women outnumber men in technical and scientific occupations. So, if these situations do occur someplace, I don't know about it. But, you have to wonder why these imbalances exist.
You mention female privilege, but obviously it isn't enough to change the situations I mentioned. In all seriousness, the world would look considerably different if female privilege were the equal of male privilege.
DeeAnn
Last edited by flatlander_48; 07-31-2015 at 09:44 PM.
Perhaps actually listen to what Frances is saying, rather than hammering home what she already knows?
She doesn't need a lesson in male privilege, she isn't denying it's existence.
If you don't understand her perspective than just say that, I don't really know your history but you sound like a man, telling a woman how she must think like you?
Ok this thread is now done, it has gone way past the original OP
Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said
The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another
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