i apolgize for the way i said that,i was kinda upset with some crap thats going on in my house that i share with my wifes brother and their sis and took it out on yall. i guess after all the yrs ive been dealing with my own issues,im just wore out and grumpy these days and seem to take it out on others.
Me neither. It was kinda fun being able to write my name in the snow, but only a little. I'll find a new drunken pastime.Originally Posted by Anne2345
I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back keep me here to wait for me so I don't go back out and miss myself when I return.
me neither.
it never even occurred to me to wonder which frankly surprised me and it also helped me understand i was doing the right thing...
Doesn't that perpetuate the concept of privilege/sexism?
DeeAnn
it's not that easy Cheryl. Your comments are ridiculous and filled with nasty judgements you make about everybody.
Frankly I don't see why anybody pays attention to what you say at all
Oh I do, all the time, hence the OP 😦
And that is okay Robin. If you have thoughts like this, then take your time. Think it out, talk it out. Time is your friend until you hit the point that something is busting your door down saying it is time. I have many friends that at least go through a period of their lives, if not permanently, where a middle path served them well. It is about calming the thoughts and if your thoughts indicate something else, let it process and progress.
Robin, I think that what you are going through may either be part of the normal checks and balances to be sure you are going in the right direction. And it's OK to discover if you are not. Or it could be a prolonged WTF moment. I'm glad you brought it up here and hope that some of the answers will help you work out where you are going.
To answer your original post, I don't miss being something that I was no good at imitating, but I sometimes miss people trusting me to do something that they know I am good at.
Check out this link if you are wondering about joining Safe Haven.
This above all: To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any
Galileo said "You cannot teach a man anything" and they accuse ME of being sexist
Never ascribe to malice that which can be easily explained by sheer stupidity
I don't miss being a guy but I'd take being a cisgender male over this shit any day! I do miss having a functional sex organ (my SRS was a dismal failure) I've paid a very high price to get rid of the dysphoria and it's not even all the way gone.
Last edited by Aprilrain; 07-26-2015 at 02:37 AM.
I guess that, as expected, the overall response is no, there is nothing to miss, however, there are, upon reflection, somethings we enjoyed then but cannot do now like "snow writing".
Generally once transition is complete, there is not much that you stop doing, just the odd thing or two that is not "missed"
Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said
The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another
actually I can still do snow writing, I need to bend juuuuusssssstttt right tho
No. Not even a little.
Male privelege? Remember that also comes with male expectations. Never wanted either.
I did once miss having a penis though. It was when I had to use the facilities at a place with only filthy port o potty s.....
All I ever wanted was to be a girl. Is that really asking too much?
Miss being male? No way! Male privilege? What is that? You want to be heard and be taken seriously? Know what you are talking about and speak up. Don't allow them to bully you! They are just men.
Yep, I love being free but I would have taken a pill to make me a 'normal' dude in a heartbeat. My heart goes out to people like April who've had surgical complications (and it happens waaaaaay more than you hear about). However, I have met April and she has no issues with passing or assimilation, so how's that for a trade?
I've also met gals who have had successful GRS, yet will never pass very well because they just didn't get a good pull in the genetic lottery. How's THAT for a trade.
...and for those part timers on the road to an eventual transition, please opine judiciously until you've got a couple of years under your belt. We have been where you are, but you haven't been here yet.
It is apparent from your comment that you have no idea what male privilege is. It is something that is conferred on you as a result of your upbringing and socialization as a male not something you can have control over unless you do some serious unpacking of your own and other peoples behavior. It might help to look at this : http://amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/ ad to understand that it takes a lot of work rid yourself it. It is not something you can or cannot take advantage of.
"Never forget the many ways there are to be human" (The Transsexual Taboo)
I assume you are being facetious.
Yes. It is like Air. It surrounds us, yet it can be very hard to actually see. However, the effects of its existence are quite apparent.
DeeAnn
Last edited by flatlander_48; 07-29-2015 at 03:04 PM.
Perhaps your life has benefited from male privilege, don't assume everyone else has.
I'm not sure how someone that's clings to their male identity and doesn't live full-time as a woman, can have an unbiased perspective on male privilege. It's easy to claim it doesn't apply when you don't know any different.
What do you mean your thinking about it? Like wondering if you would miss it if you transitioned? What kinds of things do you think you might miss?
No, there is nothing I miss about my old life. I don't even understand how I ever lived that life, it was like a bad dream I finally woke up from. I look at guys and wonder how they can just be guys and alright with that and why I couldn't be. It's just not who I am. For me it was just all wrong.
Some people who were close to me sure miss him though.
I'm sorry to hear that April
The price can be very steep.
I've not done well in my recovery and am still waiting to see how things end up. The pain I've gone through and am still in has been horrible. I can't even walk normal yet after 9 weeks. . But what is done is done, and there was nothing that could have been said to me to convince me not to do what I did. But I have had these moments in pain when I have felt pretty bad for doing it.
Last edited by arbon; 07-29-2015 at 04:04 PM.
if you think about it, I doubt successful transsexuals think about worrying about missing being a guy..
its falls into the don't transition unless you have to bucket...if this is on your mind, you probably do not "have to" transition
if its a coping thought to avoid committing to transition it will melt away like all the other coping thoughts in time..
that's a different thing than Melissa's very pragmatic statement that given how her life started she'd be happy to be cisgender..
Everyone? Probably not, but I would guess a clear and distinct majority. Case in point is the Equal Rights Amendment. Women wanted a way to insure fairness in job opportunities, job promotions, pay equality, etc. As a nation we were pretty lame in not ratifying it, but so far 23 states have put their own versions of the ERA in place. The most recent was Oregon in November of last year, so obviously it is still an important issue and discrimination based on sex still exists.
Privilege is a very insidious thing. You don't have to know about it in order for it to happen and benefit from it. Many decisions that effect us directly may not be done in a transparent manner. For example, how many of us know exactly how decisions are made regarding our promotions and raises in the workplace? How many know exactly what topics came up in conversation for those who make those decisions? These days people are smart enough (usually) not to say Joe Blow was promoted even though Jane Doe was more qualified, but there is the possibility that it reflects their thinking (consciously or unconsciously).
Look at it this way: from a male perspective it is male privilege. From a female perspective, it is sexism. It is 2 sides of the same coin.
Last edited by flatlander_48; 07-29-2015 at 04:58 PM.
I don't know how to answer this really but all I can say is I always hated being a man. And as the years went by even looking in the mirror after a shower was becoming horrible. It's still horrible but it's getting better.
If Morpheus was sat next to me and gave me a choice between the red pill makes you a women and the blue will make you a Eman. A god to women 😊.
I would take the red pill In a heart beat. Would not even ask for water to wash it down with.
Being a man sucks. They smell, covered in fur and all they do is talk shift about women and tump there chest all day long. Again being honest 😕
You know we can do the same thing as a man can. We can drive fast, play in the mud, build stuff.
We are not limited because of our sex. You have to just put your mind to it and stand your ground.
My two cents worth again 😊
Julie summers
Your first statement clearly shows that you misunderstand the nature male privilege. I am also not sure what you are trying to imply with your second statement. I have been fulltime for close to 5 years. I transitioned in place, I am a lawyer in the same town I practiced in before. If you were raised as a boy and lived as a man for any length of time you become privileged because those around you believed you to be male. It is nothing that you create but it exists. For many TS the ambient noise of such upbringing is the greatest threat to their integration and assimilation into society as women.
"Never forget the many ways there are to be human" (The Transsexual Taboo)
The thing that is stopping me from living as a full time female, is mainly social, and by that, I mean I'm quite comfortable with my socially assigned gender.
I still feel a sting when people address me as Mr, but it is nothing compared to the disruption in my life had I chose to transition completely.
It isn't inherently good or bad being a social male, but I'm good at it. After all, I've been doing that all my life.
Although I'm more of a female psychologically, that doesn't matter because the public doesn't have to know.
Would I miss being a social male if I transitioned completely? I would say "yes". It isn't because of the 'male privileges', it is just because I was more familiar with that role.
Some would argue that maybe I should rethink my path but I pay them no mind.
Also, I think in time, if I had transitioned completely, I would learn to forget my male social role and adopt a female social role and that would be the end of it.
If you are talking about 'missing the biological male'... Well... absolutely no.
I've been on HRT for almost 18 months now and the changes on my body are very pleasing and I welcome them.
I'm still a tad frightened of by budding breasts but that it because I'm afraid it might jeapordize my social male status. But again, that is too small an issue to worry about. After all, fat men have boobs twice my size.
Hope this answers your question Robin.
Hugs,
S
Lol... that is hilarious.
Last edited by sarahcsc; 07-29-2015 at 06:09 PM. Reason: To add in Kaitlyn's quote
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me" - Ayn Rand
The second statement wasn't aimed at you, it was just an open observation.
I fully understand the nature of male privilege, I don't understand why you think you always know best?
I never said I wasn't subjected to male privilege, but I have never really benefited from it.
You don't know my upbringing, the last part about ambient noise etc (what does that mean?), I have found integrating very natural, a massive relief.
You said it takes a lot of work to rid yourself of male privilege, does that mean it took 'you' a lot of work to rid yourself of it?
You mention male privilege all the time, which implies it has been a big deal for you, can you understand it might not be a big deal for me?
I have an awful lot to work through still, but missing my male life isn't one of them.
according to that checklist i been left out for a woman can get a job faster then i ever could,that is why i loved truckdriving they did not care what your sex was all they cared about was if you could drive the truck and make deliveries on time..most times i look at other men and wonder how it must feel to be a true male,for i never really have been good at it no matter how hard i tried.
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