More acceptance or is it my attitude?

[Christie ann]

I just answered the thread about titles and when I was a kid. It is in stark contrast to yesterday when I had a surprise day all to my self. Black sleeveless dress, fun sandals and new wig (sorry no pictures). I drive to a nearish city, had the "works" done at Sephora, where we just had a fun time talking and learning make up. As I sat in the big girl chair, many women stopped to watch and we chatted. And, yes, there were a few that went by scowling, but that is their problem. From there to dress barn. I spent to much time in there trying on the dresses that they suggested would be on sale soon. Lane Bryant was next door...and you get the picture.

I do try and be strategic, picking places with few teens and few guys. It's my experience that females over the age of 16 seem to be pretty accepting. I avoid malls.

I even stopped into David's Bridal where I had tried on wedding dresses a bit ago. The SA that helped me then remembered me (is that good or bad?) and she offered to me to make an appointment some time and we could play dress up. I will not let that one get away!

Then to lunch at Chiles. Just me in my dress. Being who I am.

So I do see a change in acceptance even here in a very conservative place. I think It's not because I am so passable but because I am being me and being transgender has now become OK in our part of the world.

[Belle Cri]

I've noticed the same thing. The minute you try not to hide, you test people for who they are and that is an enormous convenience. If they act ugly, walk away, they were never a valid part of your life to start with.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Christie Ann, The first thing is that you have to be honest with yourself to be accepted.

[Krisi]

If you believe that being transgender has now become OK in our part of the world, that's great but I don't think you should let your guard down. The Jenner thing has caused quite a stir and many people are rather put off by it and less accepting.

Of course I have no idea what part of the world you're living in.

[Victoria Demeanor]

A person is smart, People are dumb panicky, dangerous animals.. (Agent K. men in black) I think you are right and acceptance is changing, but I think as more information gets out and the media and Hollywood stops evilizing transgenders thing will get even better. So glad you had a great day and wish I was out shopping with you .

[Eryn]

There may be more acceptance, but I think the most important thing is your attitude. If you see someone acting oddly do you want to interact with that person? Act like a normal person and people will treat you as such.

This was difficult for me to do as "normal" women don't act like men, but now I find that it is second nature. Today we (myself, Mimi, Persephone, and her spouse) went on a walking tour of the Art Deco buildings in downtown LA. I was in a group of a dozen people walking and talking for two hours and nobody gave any indication that they were uncomfortable being with me. Afterwards we visited the LA Public Library and had lunch at Coles, where the French Dip sandwich was invented. Everything went fine as I expected it to.

(PS, I know of the dispute regarding the French Dip inventor. Both claimants make great sandwiches and I'll leave it at that.)

[pamela7]

In my opinion, both are at work. The more comfortable we are in our own skin, clothing, the less we see this as a guilty fetish to be hidden away, the more normal it will be for others. Sounds a great day you had there.

My own journeys out and about have affirmed one thing: people are by and large, SHEEP. A drunken crowd might be dangerous, flying into Saudi dressed might be suicidal (even if the men there are already all in dresses), but outside of late night when the human predators are about, don't worry. Be alert of course, like any lone sheep, but remember, they are all afraid of "the law", "breaking the social code of acceptance", "speaking out in public".

As I've said quite a few times, if all the millions of closet dressers got over their fears and came out, then "game over"; numbers, acceptance, normality is men cross-dressed.

xxx

[Teresa]

Chritie,
I'm glad you had a great day out, I would struggle to fight the urge to go back to the bridal shop, especially if the owner was so easy about it, I'd probably head for the bridesmaids dresses they are actually easier to wear and often prettier than bridal gowns !

Pamela,
I'm inclined to agree with your comments, the only question is if all the crossdressers came out of hiding where do all the disapproving partners go , in the closet ?

[pamela7]

Pamela,
I'm inclined to agree with your comments, the only question is if all the crossdressers came out of hiding where do all the disapproving partners go , in the closet ?

its simple, once they realise everyone else is ok with it, they slip into conformity (acceptance), cos that is the nature of sheep.

xxx

[Marcelle]

Hi Christie Ann,

While agree there is a growing acceptance of what we do out in the world . . . it is still minute. I think what you are experiencing is more likely a factor of tolerance based on ambivalence and to some degree, people just not caring what others do so long as it doesn't impact negatively on their lives. Complete acceptance will take time and education and perhaps as more TG persons come to media attention, are seen out and about interacting with others . . . who knows. I also believe that if you are seen as just a normal person doing your thing, people will be more tolerant.

Cheers

Isha

[Claire Cook]

Hi Christie,

Yes, I would agree with Pamela as well. In my experience the two go hand in hand. I now pretty much go wherever I want, and am treated as a woman, or at least tolerated, pretty much all of the time. I think the more comfortable you are with yourself, the more comfortable others will be with you. Krisi, I've not responded to any the posts about Kaitlin but it's funny that I am asked about her by most of my GG friends who know about me. My feeling is that we can be our best PR here. We're still the people they have always known -- we are just letting that gentler, softer side of us come to the fore.

[Angela Marie]

Several months ago I had an epiphany and just took a deep breath and began going out with an air of confidence. It has made a world of difference; at least in my case. Is it always perfect? No! But I feel much more at ease going about my daily routine. Everyone is different and we all have to find our own comfort level.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm sure we r all different, Christie. But, for me it's kind of like Eryn says.

I will NEVER be comfortable out dressed amongst the Muggles. However, I'm getting more used to their varied reactions, both humorous and negative, when I'm out. When I get a fisheye or a loud,"OMG! That was a man", now?

It's no longer a dagger in my heart. Just another piece of sand in my heels!