Contemplating attending a convention mixed

[Saikotsu]

As the title states, I'm thinking of going to a convention mixed: I.e. I'm thinking of wearing a pair of pants, a guys t-shirt, bra, forms, nailpolish. As I am gender fluid, I want to present as how I feel. Since 95% percent of the time I feel somewhere in between, I want to present as a mix of male and female, so my objective is to not blend in.

Some things you should know: this is a furry convention. I was invited by my friend who does a lot of furry art. I make mention of this, because I figure that many of the people there are more likely to be accepting of it, due to similar circumstances. Of course, there are bound to be exceptions.

No doubt, some of you are wondering why I would want to do this. Simply put, a small condo can feel like a prison when its the only place you feel like you can express yourself the way you feel you should. I want to go out into public and be me, even if only for a weekend. Besides, the way I figure it, at the convention, only my friends will know me, and they are already accepting of it. Everyone else is a stranger I will likely never see again.

As for safety concerns, I'll be traveling with my friends at all times, so I'm not going to go anywhere alone. I'll also be careful not to let people know which room I'm staying in.

Please be considerate of others when replying to this post. I realize that my desire to do this may not be something you approve of, but there is no reason we can't discuss this with civility and aplomb. Also, to be clear, I want to hear from you your thoughts on the matter. Should I do it? Should I not? Other safety concerns? Advice?

[pamela7]

Be yourself, it is the only way to truly influence others to do the same.
The more i just go to the pub (bar) in a skirt, top and 3-day shadow with lipstick, the more i hear from others the respect i get for being myself and not giving a damn what other people think or say. I think folks are more ready and accepting, they hate conflict, will avoid it, and so no problem. You group sounds and easy one. The hardest group for me, strangely was a bunch of hippies - go figure!

[Saikotsu]

Really, hippies gave you the most trouble? Wow, that surprises me. Thanks for the advice too.

[Sandie70]

Everyone decides on their own how to present. Of course, your environment will determine both how comfortable you feel, and how safe. The world is not exactly an accepting place yet for those who are "in between" looks as we might say. Hopefully, there will come a day when people get used to all of us and learn that inside we are quite normal. Until then, those who present in the way you describe, push the envelope for all of us.

Go for it and have fun!!

[Eryn]

It sounds llike a place where you'll feel comfortable presenting as you wish.

One caution: Others may not perceive you as you imagine they would. Some will still try, out of habit, to pigeonhole you as "male" or "female" in the way they interact with you. There are no pre-made rules for interacting with androgynous people! If you are prepared for this it can actually be an interesting way to explore human nature.

I spend a lot of my "male" time in andro mode, but don't push the issue with femme-only items like skirts. Comfy tees and khaki Capris are my normal style. With long hair (tied back) and stud earrings I do occasionally still get ma'am-ed which doesn't bother me in the least!

[Saikotsu]

@ Sandie70
Thanks, I will.
Part of me wants to push that envelope. I want to better understand the furry community, and I hope they want to better understand the LGBT community as well. I kinda feel like a foreign ambassador or diplomat in a way.

I honestly don't mind people referring to me as sir or maam, him her, etc. The way I figure it, they can call me whatever they perceive me as. But yeah, it does sound like fun to observe the social interactions. Im sure some people I'll meet will have never encountered someone like me (knowingly)

[Jaylyn]

I'm with Pamela, just be yourself and enjoy the convention. In this days times most are either very vocal or very quiet but talk about you later. You'll never know so the words can't hurt you.

[Krisi]

You can wear whatever you want as long as you cover your private parts. Realize though, there may be consequences for dressing out of the ordinary. Most people do not understand and do not like folks who act differently than the norm. Most will not physically harm you be you may get some dirty looks or disparaging comments. Be prepared for this and try to ignore them or at least respond in a way that doesn't escalate the situation.

BTW: You may find your photo or videos on Facebook or youtube. That's life in the high tech age.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Adison, Although I like to completely dress as a lady, I have no problem with what ever makes you happy.

[Saikotsu]

Thanks.

@Jaylyn. Thanks for the encouragement.

@Krissi.
I hadn't thought about the book of faces and youtube. Thats definitely a huge thing I'll need to consider. I'm prepared for disparaging look and comments, after all, even though a lot of furries face the same persecution as us because we act different from the norm doesn't mean they'll be welcoming of me. After all, I'm still an outsider in their community. I'm just hoping they focus more on what we have in common than what sets us apart.

[Krisi]

I guess you better explain to me what a "furry" is.

[Allisa]

I almost always dress somewhere in between genders and it may confuse others but not to me so I go about my way and if I don't blend in to the norm so what I'm not norm to begin with but I'm happy. I don't know what a furry is but as long as it doesn't hurt anyone so be it. Enjoy yourself, be safe, life is too short ,good luck.

[JamieG]

I don't know much about furry conventions, but you may want to double-check how welcome non-furries are in general. Will you be treated with suspicion, like a cis-man at a trans convention might be? Are there such things as furry admirers?

As for a gender-fluid look in general, go for it if it makes you happy. You'll probably find more acceptance in general in major metropolitan areas, especially the art districts and/or LGBT neighborhoods of such areas. If you are going out, you should be prepared for what happens if you run into somebody who knows you, but doesn't know about your gender-fluidity. Are you prepared to explain it? Most full-on CDs look different enough that they may not be recognized in casual encounters; you will probably be a different story.

[Saikotsu]

Alright, I'm probably not the most qualified to explain the concept of a furry, but I'll do my best.

A furry is a person who feels some affinity for a type of animal. For this example, let's take a fox. Furries have varying levels of dysphoria, much like the members of this board. Some feel a kinship or a respect for a specific animal and try to emulate it in some way. For instance, they may want to emulate the cunning and resourcefulness of a fox. However, when asked, they'll probably tell you that they have no desire to be a fox.

Then of course, there might be a furry who feels deep down that they are actually a fox born into a human body. If you asked them what they are, they would tell you they are a fox. Such a person would likely feel great distress that they aren't a fox on the outside.

Some furries will wear fur suits, which are kinda like cartoonish mascot costumes of various animals. Some will Even pay top dollar to have a suit custom made to look like their fursona. Some wear them only in private, others out in public. Some wear them full time, others only at conventions. Some don't wear them at all.

A fursona is an online or mental identity/avatar of a person as an anthropological or realistic animal. Much like we might go by a female/male name to go with our presentation, they would do something similar with a fursona. Some people have a fursona and only use it for role play purposes.

A common misconception of furries is that they're into bestiality and are sexually deviant. However, most are normal people, like you or me.

Anyway, time for the actual replies.
It is a concern of mine, running into friends or co-workers who don't know. If they're coworkers, I'll likely just say I lost a bet. If it's a friend, we'll have to see. Most of my friends know by now. The ones that don't won't be at a furry convention. If they are, I'm going to be super surprised.

Whether or not I'll be welcome, I'm going to gain a better understanding of them. That's gotta stand for something, right? I'm for certain going, but Whether or not I'll let on that I'm transgender, that's still up in the air. Besides, not everyone there will be in a fursuit. Unless someone asks me outright, no one will know I'm not a furry.

As always, thanks for the responses.

[pamela7]

oh wow Saikotsu, you just made my year, this is so so right up my street / interests (intellectually / work-wise)!

[Marcelle]

Hi Saikotsu,

We all dress the way we feel comfortable and this is no exception . . . dress as you please and go enjoy yourself being "you" Let us know how it went.

Cheers

Isha

[Saikotsu]

Thanks, I will.
Glad to hear I made your year, Pamela

[Ceera]

I go to furry cons. I'm a furry author, artist and fursuiter. I fursuit as both male and female characters, and while I normally present male while not in my fursuit, I may go en-femme at a con as well - especially to attend a dance held at a con. I've been part of the Furry community for several decades, so if any of you have questions about that fandom or about furry cons, ask here or send me a private message. But Saikotsu did a very good job of describing the furry fandom in general.

You'll find lots of bi, gay, TG and Gender fluid people in the Furry community. No one will even blink at you presenting in a Gender Fluid manner or going there en-femme. Just bear in mind that in public spaces you still have to keep it PG, as there will also be families with kids present. The type of presentation you mentioned should be perfectly fine.

You may want to pick up a set of ears or a tail to wear, but you don't really have to. A good percentage of the con goers will be in ordinary street clothes at least part of the time.

You'll also find that most Anime cons are equally open/friendly to LGBT and Gender Fluid presentation, with or without 'costuming' for an anime theme. The second pic is from Jan, 2015, when I attended a rave dance at the IKKiCON 9 Anime convention en-femme (Wow... my makeup skills and wig have improved a lot since then!). Waited in a long line for the dance, and no one blinked. Had a blast dancing all night with both guys and girls.

Have fun! Which con is it that you'll be attending?

Attached pics are me in my vixen fursuit at a Furry con, in my fursonna as "Ceera Murakami", and dressed en-femme to attend a dance at a the Anime con, as a human version of Ceera, with just a tail.

Oh, and you will also find that most people at a furry or anime con will ask for permission before taking photos of anyone. You might end up in the background of a pic of someone else, but general con etiquette is to ask permission before snapping a picture.

[Saikotsu]

Thanks for all the information. I'm glad I was able to paint a good general picture too. No worries about the PG thing, I'm not comfortable wearing riskier clothing anyway.

I'm a regular at Nan Desu Kan, which is an anime convention in Denver, and I love the atmosphere there. I've even cosplayed before, though I've only cosplayed as Male characters so far.

The convention I'll be going to is Rocky Mountain Fur con. Also in Denver. By the way, thanks for reminding me to bring my ears. A couple years back I acquired a pair of nekomimi cat ears at NDK. they're battery operated and move in different ways based on how you're feeling. I bet they'll be a hit at the convention.

Anyway, I'll take a look at the pictures when I get home. Thanks again for the response.

[Ceera]

Oh yes, I've seen those animatronic Nekomimi ears! They will definitely be a hit at the con, and you probably won't be the only one wearing them. I considered a set myself, but my furry characters are all foxes or dogs, so cat ears don't fit what I do, and also the headband on those runs too small for my head size.

[Saikotsu]

Some specialty shops will make other kinds of ears. My friend has some nekomimi fox ears.

[cheryl reeves]

ive always been partial to timber wolves,some people will tell you im a wolf in human skin,guess thats due to my native american heritage..even around a pack im a loner,been pretty much a solatary person my whole life.....have fun and be yourself.

[pamela7]

i feel like asking for a whole new section of our forum for the furry CD/TG spectrum - there's like so much i'd be interested in learning about that and the anime cosplay world that seems to fit/overlap. Our f2m child is mega anime/manga, and they've been painting foxes recently!

[Ceera]

While there is no doubt some overlap between our community and the Furry/anime/cosplay crowd, I doubt there would be enough of us here to justify a section in these forums. I'd be happy to point anyone who is interested to the many on-line sites that already exist for those fandoms. All of them are pretty open minded to crossdressers.

Among fursuiters, a sizable percentage, quite possibly the majority, of fursuiters who do female characters are actually males inside those girly costumes. And it's not uncommon for a GG fursuiter to also do male suit characters.

Cosplayers, regardless of which fandom they prefer (Anime, My Little Pony, Pokemon, etc...), quite often gender swap, even if they are completely straight and wouldn't ever cross dress for any reason other than to cosplay as a character they fancy.

[Krisi]

Well thanks, I now know what a "furry" is. I am at a loss for words.