Went to first SAA Meeting last week.

[Aleca]

Sex Addicts Anonymous. Twenty men were in the group, one homosexual male and one cross dressing male (me) attended. I spoke at the end of the hour and came out. It was not what I was expecting, meeting held at a LGBT church and almost everyone a heterosexual male. I felt I had to be honest about myself, so came out with my lifetime interest of CDing, in support of the CDing but critical of acting out too much. I was surprised by the overwhelmingly positive reaction and support of being a cross dresser. As I look ahead and try to keep my arousal under control, I figure the best way to do that is to just desensitized myself by getting out more and not by suppress ing it or denying it as that would only make me more anxious and more angry. So anyways, as I recover from a nasty sunburn this week, I go from here.

[NicoleScott]

It seems to me that if someone is going to a support group, counseling, etc. it's a must to tell all and honestly. So good for you for doing that. I wonder, though, if the acceptance you received was for your crossdressing, or for your admission of your addiction, something that you do have in common with the others. Or maybe both. Is your addiction that you crossdress for sexual pleasure? There is a sexual aspect to my crossdressing, and I have often wondered if it an obsession, compulsion, or addiction. It may be a "fun hobby" but I'm sure it's more than that.

[Teresa]

Aleca,
I have to congratulate on your double coming out !
To admit you need help with your sexual problems and then confess to be a CDe ! I hope it goes well for you .

It's an odd World that some have to accept help with sexual dysfunction and some struggle with an excess . My CDing started as sexual and has not diminished that much over all these years, I find it very hard to achieve a balance when my wife lost interest in intimate contact almost ten years ago. I do respect her wishes and make no demands on her but feel slightly hurt when she knows I still have needs but totally ignores them .

[Katey888]

Likewise, Well done Aleca!

I applaud your honesty and courage and it's so good to hear that a support group is really being right there for you and giving up real support... One would hope that you'd get that from comrades who had also suffered addiction of whatever sort, but it's still awesome to hear that it happens...

I hope your progress goes well - you know you can always come and vent here if you need a place to unload...

Katey x

[Alice Torn]

Interesting! In 2003, i went to a Sex addicts anonymous group once, and i also, mentioned that i put on the clothes of a woman who died, that i was crazy about. Same thing, acceptance.

[St. Eve]

Aleca, blessings on your recovery journey, I hope you find the peace and acceptance and sobriety and spiritual awakening through your recovery journey in whatever way is the best for you....

I am glad to hear of your SAA adventure. After a couple of disappointing weeks in SAA (very little sobriety in my local community) I ended up in SA in my community 6.5 years ago. I put my crossdressing on the shelf as part of my sexual sobriety and rarely looked back. Then in the last couple of months, I realized I HAD TO KNOW if my crossdressing and gender issues were part of - or separate from - my sexual compulsivity. The last two months have been great...I am learning that my sexual compulsivity could have arisen as a way to manage my gender issues and I am finding even more gentleness for myself. I have come out to my SA group and to close friends and received nothing but support from everyone except my wife. She was hoping my crossdressing days had disappeared with my sexual sobriety.....she is supportive of me finding my happiness, and she is terrified I will become what she can not be married too....

Back to the topic...I am so grateful for my recovery and my step work and my 12 step community. It is really only with the help of recovery that I am able to slowly come out as CD and gender fluid to my closest friends and spouse. I thought the more conservative SA crowd would have such a hard time with my CD exploration, but all I have received is loving support!!

Aleca, blessings on your recovery journey, I hope you find the peace and acceptance and sobriety and spiritual awakening through your recovery journey in whatever way is the best for you....

peace
St. Eve

[flatlander_48]

A:

After you put it all out there, the only way to go is UP...

My Best To You,

DeeAnn

[Aleca]

Thank you all for the responses, means a lot. Went a second straight Saturday this morning. As for me and how I see myself as , I would say it is about 50% sex with self satisfaction and 50% feminine inside. My goal as I would like the cross dressing to be is 100% self-esteem building. As with the sex addict stuff in crossdressing I think it is to deal with the anxiety of real life exposure and the only way to get over the frequent masturbation is to get out more and more.

[flatlander_48]

Went a second straight Saturday this morning.

Very Good!!!

I don't know how common this is, but one thing I found is that when I understand a facet of my life well enough to explain to someone else what is happening for/to me, what I feel, etc. it means that a significant gain has been made. Also, there is also something about hearing myself say the words. It seems to complete the circle: think-say-hear-repeat...

DeeAnn