Neighbors

[carhill2mn]

I live alone and present as a woman at least 90% of the time so, I was en femme last night. I live on a cul de sac that has 10 units. I am not "out" to my neighbors but a few have seen me going/coming in my car or near my house. No one has ever said anything to me about seeing a woman and wondering who she might be.

Last night while online I received a phone call from a woman whose name I did not recognize. I usually do not answer a call unless I recognize the caller. A short time later I heard knocking on my door while I was upstairs. By the time I reached the level where my front door is the knocking had stopped. I soon heard very loud knocking coming from the door leading to my garage. As I approached the door one of my male neighbors opened the door and stepped into my family room. He said that neighbors had noticed that my garage door had been open all day and wondered if I was OK. I was a bit taken aback and assured him that I was alright. I also told him that CJ (that is the name by which he knows my male self) was not home just then. He quickly turned around and told someone outside that everything was OK and left.

Apparently, I had not shut my garage door after bringing in the paper that morning. The phone call from the woman whose name I did not recognize was from a neighbor whom I do not know. She was calling to see if I was OK. I do not know if the neighbor who came into my house recognized that the woman he was looking at was really CJ (probably, since that is who he was expecting to see).

There is a "neighbors night out" gathering next week for people living on the cul de sac. It will be interesting to see what, if anything, any of my neighbors will say to me.

Ah, well, such is life for a "pretend woman".

[Krisi]

If your neighbors have seen you coming and going as a woman, you are "out" to them. They may not let on to your face, but you can be sure some of them have figured it out and told the rest.

[kimdl93]

I'm sure you have reasons for being 10% 'in', but maybe it's time to reconsider these reasons.

[Pat]

I have to agree -- if they've seen you coming and going then you're out to the neighbors, you just haven't told them yet. They sound like good neighbors though, if they're concerned about you so you should probably tell them so you can feel comfortable being around your own property.

[Tracii G]

I think they know and were just checking up on you.

[AngelaYVR]

Seeing as how a lot of neighbours wouldn't do anything until there was an unpleasant smell coming from your house, you are really quite lucky.

[Eryn]

They either see two different people coming and going or they see one person coming and going in different modes. Since you haven't mentioned personal friendships with them I assume that they are simply neighbors and the details of what they think will not really affect you.

I wasted a lot of personal energy worrying about what other people thought. I've hidden in the back seat while Mimi drove the car away from our house. I've finally come to the conclusion that if my neighbors want to peer into my car as I drive away they can see whatever they choose to see. This decision hasn't brought one negative consequence and I feel a lot better about myself.

[Rachelakld]

I so love your neighbours, I wish all neighbours were as caring as yours.
My neighbours know about my hobby and are still friendly, maybe more so than before, especially the females.

[Joansometimes]

Sounds like they are a caring and friendly bunch. They may already know about your alter-ego.

[Alice_2014_B]

Sounds like some good watchful neighbors.

[Jorja]

So are you going to the neighbors night out as yourself or as CJ? Be glad your neighbors are watching out for you.

[Debb]

Out or not, that's a couple of great neighbors! Plus, you can leave your garage door open and nothing happens .. at least today.

I've got a neighborhood night out on Tuesday, can't decide to go as Deb or Dave (I'm in early transition).

[Robin414]

I think I may have outed myself to the neighbors as well with an open garage door, they're in their 80's so I hope they thought I was just some woman visiting (they're really nice people and I seriously don't want to give them a heart attack) 😯

[ChristinaK]

Always a cunumdrum,those neighbors. You want them to care, but not see you. That's the way I look at it. Better start locking your doors.

[Belle Cri]

We live across a garden plot from a very traditional spanish family. As I've been increasingly becoming more publicly open, they come to find it rather entertaining to see just what I'll be wearing today. The men, I suspect quite conservative Maya, simply shake their heads, look down and get back to work. The women waive - point at this or that, smile, big thumbs up. Got a thumbs down and head shake the other day...ooooooooooo. Now we all chat with the indian neighbor about gardening and cooking. Doesn't bother her a bit, the third sex is an institution in her culture and no shame is attached.

What could have turned into a strange and tense situation has turned into this sort of fun multicultural hen party in the back lot. I love it. And the more and more I find is that despite my instinct to duck, people are really quite open and curious for the most part, and frequently find it just, well, fun.

[JeanetteX]

Guess it had to happen sometime Carole. I live alone as well and I'm almost sure one of these days one of my neighbors will find out about me as Jeanette. Well we'll see what happens then I suppose. Meanwhile enjoy your neighbors gathering next week and let us know how it went ok?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Carol, It sounds like you have some great neighbors, Keep us advised about
the neighbors night out and how it goes.

[Dana3]

It's been my general experience that whenever you think your fooling yourself? YOUR ONLY FOOLING YOURSELF!

[CarlaWestin]

Carole, at this point of your life, what could really matter if you were to present to your neighbors as Carole. When I finally reach my retired life, I'm going to retire all of the covers and present as the two personalities that I am. I just don't think anyone does the torch and pitchfork thing anymore.

[Stephanie47]

I glad you have neighbors concerned about your well being. I'd say at a minimum the male neighbor you had direct contact with may know it was you. The question is whether he respects your privacy and keeps the info to himself. You'll find out at the block party.

[LucyNewport]

I have to agree with Carla on this one. If the cat is out of the bag, why not just own it? I don't think people really care too much about this thing anymore. I say show your true self at the block party. Of course you know you know you situation better than anyone so it's your call.

Personally speaking, I'm not formally out to my neighbors. It's hard to hide when coming and going though, and there are always people on the street so it's really only a matter of time until the whole block knows. C'est la vie.