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Thread: So, tell me.

  1. #1
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    So, tell me.

    If you were to tell everyone you know, family, friends, co workers, managers, acquaintances, everyone, that you enjoy being a female whenever you can, what percentage of them would be fully accepting? In my case I think it's at about 20-30%. Even with all of the diversity and acceptance as of late I think that's all I could expect. The rest would just think I was a perverted freak.

    So, how would you do?
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  2. #2
    Formerly Deborah Whitney
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    Not to spoil the fun .. but I've told just about everybody in my life, with the exception of officially coming out at work.

    If we're talking "full acceptance", then my percentage is very low .. like 5% if I am counting right. Initial acceptance was higher, but the aftershock was what wrecked the percentage.

  3. #3
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    I'm an older conservative person so I think they would be shocked. I think most people would accept who you are but wouldn't embrace it as if you won the lottery. At my age, I have no desire to let family and friends know but I do have a desire to go out in public. I think society has gotten much more accepting and I doubt anyone would disown you or stop being friends.

  4. #4
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    Maybe 10% of all people who know me, as an older person my friends and family are also older so acceptance is highly unlikely, after all it took me 60 yrs. to accept myself.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
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    It's a rather pointless exercise. I can't begin to guess what goes on in other people's minds. All I can know is what I have observed in real life experience....so far, the acceptance level has been unanimous among immediate family members, friends, select business associates and neighbors. Had I guessed beforehand, I would have grossly underestimated.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #6
    Platinum Member
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    Hi Carla, I don't know about telling everyone about my dressing,
    But having both ears triple pierced it seams like no one cares.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  7. #7
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    Hmm, being 'fully accepting' I think 1% (I have a GG friend who happens to be bi sexual), being 'ok' I think 99%

  8. #8
    Work In Progress LucyNewport's Avatar
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    All my friends know. Maybe half of my family. The only people who I expect will have a problem would be my brother in law and maybe a manager or two at work. In my case everyone is going to find out eventually.

  9. #9
    I am me! TrishaTX's Avatar
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    I work in financial services so Id say minus 28.5 % yes minus...I would owe acceptance to someone else lol....very few people in my case...
    No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.

  10. #10
    Member Tonya Rose's Avatar
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    I think I might fall in that 30 percent range! as i only consider about 10 people actual friends!
    Tonya Rose This is me! (song by camp rock)

  11. #11
    Gold Member JenniferR771's Avatar
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    Good question, Carla!
    In my case, those who know are neutral or somewhat negative. Wife--somewhat negative. Daughter #1 somewhat negative--never talks about my cding--never asked to see a picture. My brother--about the same. Daughter #2, will talk about my cding to some extent--but never asked to see a picture. Co-worker woman does not want to talk about it and never asked to see a photo. Thinks I might be a sinner.
    Girls at the thrift store--sometimes friendly, will discuss and look at photos and help me pick out dresses.

    My estimate: many neutral to slightly negative responses. Then again I am nerdy--don't have a lot of friends. Quiet personality.

  12. #12
    0 to trans in 60 seconds! Donnagirl's Avatar
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    I think you'll be suprised. Work, (para-military law enforcement) not a problem, bike club - not a concern, friends, family - all very positive. Coming out has rekindled relationships with two of my sisters, brought me more friends and has given me a social life. Whilst I'm not sure of the criteria for acceptance, in my situation the percentage would have to be high.
    Call me Donna, please

  13. #13
    Banned Read only
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    You will never know, or probably even guess closely, until you actually do it. I predicted the results of my coming out accurately in exactly one case, out of all the people I told I was going to transition. That would've been my now ex wife, and you can probably guess how she reacted.

  14. #14
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I'd have to say that a lot would accept it, but wouldn't like it. Nor would they be accepting of me in their lives as CD or TG, either; it would definitely alter the relationships for the worse. I don't know anyone who would embrace it. None. So, Zero percent.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member JeanetteX's Avatar
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    I have thought about that so often as I would love to come out and tell people. But in my case I can't see more than 5-10% of people who would give it even the slightest bit of acceptance. So I have decided to remain in the closet for now. But my wish to tell keeps on growing and growing...who knows in the future it will explode into the outside world
    Love and hugs Jeanette

  16. #16
    Senior Member kayegirl's Avatar
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    In my case I would say that most of my family and friends know and accept, this includes my wife who is highly supportive, even encouraging. When I did come out, I had only one negative, but we remain friends and close neighbours. I'm retired so work is no problem. The one part of my life where it remains a secret is my lodge, not sure how well it would be received there!!!

  17. #17
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Carla,

    I guess I will throw my own experience in the ring since I am out completely in my social and work environments (military). When it comes to my family I would say 90% are completely supportive (unequivocally) with the remaining 10% understanding, being okay with it but indifferent. My close friends again I would say about 70% are completely supportive with about 25% being okay with limited support and 5% are still on the fence (neither in or out). When it comes to work colleagues that is going to be a guessing game. In my experience about 80% are okay with it, understand but are indifferent and about 20% avoid me in work settings.

    Cheers

    Isha

  18. #18
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    Carla,

    I'm judicious about whom I come out to, but my numbers would be similar to -- probably higher -- than Isha's ... I have been amazed at the positive responses I have had from those I have told. Admittedly the vast majority of these have been women, and I've told few people I work with, and no one in my family. Well, I'll change that last ... I sometimes take power walks with my cousin's wife, and one day I just said "You know, it feels good to do this wearing a bra." Her response: "Just don't tell me anymore".

    Just yesterday I met with the supervisor of our condo here in Virginia, telling her that I'd be spending more time here since I have a temporary job with the Feds. She had seen Claire in the elevator, so I told her that she;d be seeing more of my transgendered self. Her response: "I have to meet Claire. I think it is great and you have to introduce us."

    Hugs,

    Claire
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  19. #19
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    i'd say uniformly positive, seems to be a non-problem. But then how true are people to your face?
    One friend seemed completely accepting, but later revealed that really they didn't want that in their life - it's like a DADT friend.
    If that were more widely true, then acceptance might be more face-only.

    it's like organising an event, 100 people say yes, 40 attend!

    How do we know?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  20. #20
    Reality Check
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    Well, you can never "be a female". You can dress like one or with $100K worth of surgery you can look like one but you can never really be one.

    "Fully accepting"? I would say my wife tolerates my hobby but I'm sure she would rather I give it up and take up golf or fishing. I am no longer working for a living but I doubt my co-workers or the people I dealt with on the job would be too accepting. My (adult) children would probably tolerate it but ask that I keep it away from my younger grandchildren. Friends might tolerate knowing about it but wouldn't want to see it.

    The general public views crossdressing as a perversion or a mental illness. They would rather not have to deal with it.

  21. #21
    @--}----- Sissy_Michelle's Avatar
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    How would I do, if I came out to everyone that I knew.

    5% would support me.
    25% would say "I knew something was wrong with him."
    50% probably would stop speaking to me.
    10% would want to know what I was wearing.
    10% would freak out.

    + or -

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Sarah Beth's Avatar
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    If I came to out the people in my family and my friends the only the people I would have left would be my wife and one friend. I know for a fact from recent conversations with my parents what their stand would be and even my kids would not have anything to do with me. Well my son might but I am sure it would change our whole relationship and not for the better.
    "It takes all kinds of kinds" Miranda Lambert
    Now some point a finger and let ignorance linger
    If they'd look in the mirror they'd find.
    That ever since the beginning to keep the world spinning
    It takes all kinds of kinds.

  23. #23
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Carla - I have no idea... at all...

    If I was able to predict that with any accuracy I'd be filling in lottery numbers instead.

    Actually, I do that already and I'm clearly no good at it, so I'll leave predicting stuff to older, Romany-type GGs with headscarves and large glass balls...

    I'll keep the knowledge of my secretive existence to just you few understanding girls right now thanks...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  24. #24
    Member Robyn2006's Avatar
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    Funny... I think about this a lot. I've a pretty liberal family and like-minded friends, so I'm thinking the percentage would be pretty high, say 80% acceptance - but you know, after the shock and laughter subsided.
    When lost, alone, or blue I know I can always get through the day, for I've always another shade of lipstick to make things right!

  25. #25
    Silver Member DanaR's Avatar
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    My doctor mentioned to me once that I led two lives; which is probably true. She is about the only one that knows me as a guy and knows about me as a girl, except for my wife. As Dana, she has some friends, but they don't know the guy.
    Dana Ryan

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