It's strange how things happen but I was delayed walking the dog this morning and caught the end of the BBC breakfast show . It featured a story about the pageant being hosted in the UK, I felt the TS featured acted up to the cameras too much but then they interviewed Stephanie ( Simon ) Hirst in the studio, she a recent TS and presents a radio show in the UK. The slot was short but in that time the message came over so clearly, she said the biggest obstacle was getting over to the family and friends how she felt and how the GD melted away once the transition started. Now the conflict has gone she is so happy that her needs have been satisfied and she truly be herself !
Those few words and the way they were put for some reason made me think part of my life felt fraudulent but which half ? I also wondered if my wife was having those thoughts too , she's been touchy knowing my gender counselling is today . I guess it's only inevitable that she should think that when her husband is seeking help with gender issues !
Anyway I've just returned from the first session , it went very well, I was open and honest from the start. After the initial why are you here questions I suggested I show her some pictures, she agreed that it would give a clearer message. Oh boy the look on her face she puffed her cheeks out and said you're serious about this aren't you ! She said the transformation and obvious signs of happiness just can't be denied or suppressed . The conclusion is I was born like it I need to openly express my feelings I need to transition but not fully just be able to live at least 50% dressed, and to somehow work on my wife's acceptance. The hiding and DADT situation is mentally crippling me , she's not surprised that that I can't mentally move on until these issues are resolved , especially as I've lived so many years suppressing a real part of me. She was critical of my wife's attitude to intimacy and sexual activity but I told her I could live with that if the other matters could be resolved.
I have to add she is an attractive lady and couldn't help compliment on her heels which I apologised for but she found it funny !
We touched on shopping and my clothes preferences, she agreed that I could pass but when I told her that I wouldn't wear trousers she raised a questioning eyebrow, I added well would you cover those legs up ? She replied they're too dammed good to hide !