Paula, you are addressing different kinds of issues in your response.
Take Theresa's comment at face value – but in terms of preference, not constraint. What does it say about someone who does not WANT to change their name and gender marker ... someone who lives in a place where it's possible?
The part of your post concerned with not wrecking various aspects of your life goes into something radically different than RLE when you start talking about people who want to maintain their employment, i.e., continuing to work as men. What ever you choose to call it or give for a rationale – preference, survival, whatever – one thing that it clearly is not is RLE.