Making the Vanilla World Nervous

[AllieSF]

Sometimes it is just not "the day" that makes the difference. It is that you repeated something that you did for almost the first time when you may have been very nervous. You are getting used to the experience. Keep up the good work by going out more doing "normal" things and your fears will eventually disappear, or at least go way deep in the background where it gets harder for it to come back. It is just a matter of building up that inner confidence and "don't care" attitude over time. Enjoy.

[Maxi]

I have never been one to back down from anything, but my first time going out, I failed. I was all dressed and ready, grabbed the purse and began putting my thing in it when I fell apart. I tried to understand why I backed down. It's not something I do. The next morning I tried it again, and success, I went out and as soon as I got out of the van at the park, I met a girl who was all compliments, and asked me to walk with her. Wow, what a feeling.

[Jenniferathome]

That's a slippery slope Kristyn;-) See you in Los Gatos soon!

[MarisaRose.]

Kristyn, such a great post!!! Wishing you all the best!!!
Marisa...

[Tracii G]

I'm doing a Snoopy happy dance for you !!!!
Acting normal is part of the key to a great daytime outing.

[gabyespinotv]

you go girl!

[Jennifer B]

Hi Kristyn. Good for you for going in there and doing it, and for going again.

I'm just jealous that you are in Carmel. I've always loved the idea of hiring a house there, overlooking the beach and painting the sunsets. Lovely.

[Helen_Highwater]

Kristyn,
I think your original comment has something to be said for it. People may not necessarily be hostile to us but if suddenly confronted don't know how to react. They're taken a little out of their comfort zone. Want to see how that works? Get in a lift with one other person in there and then stand close to them. OK somewhat different I know as this is about personal space but have you ever gone to shake hands and found the other person has a false of deformed hand? Remember that instant of uncertainty? It takes a few moments to recover your composure and that's what muggles, however accepting, experience. That moment of uncertainty.

[pamela7]

your two trips really resembly my first two solo dressed shopping trips. I think its mostly our nerves radiating, and the more natural we are the more accepted as we are, that we are. We get used to it, no big deal, and its easy. Reminds of that first time buying a condom, at 16 years old that was way worse with a lady shop assistant!!!

[melanie206]

When I made my first and last visit to Carmel I had long hair that I wish I had now. It was the seventies and I was a bit of a hippy travelling down the coast. Was walking into town from the coast highway in hope of getting to the beach. Didn't take long to be noticed by a police officer who gave us a complimentary ride back out to the highway. My travelling companion in later years became a notable Ferengi.

[flatlander_48]

Armin Shimerman?

DeeAnn

[melanie206]

I won't be revealing that.

[Claire Cook]

Hi Kristin,

Your first post expressed so much of what many of us have felt that first time out ... and your second, wow girl, what a difference! I think you said a lot when you said you went into the store like you owned it. I've always thought that "passing" comes from within. When we are comfortable with ourselves others are comfortable with us. When I'm out and someone looks at me, I just flash a smile and almost always get a smile back. (It's funny that when I'm out and about I smile at other women a lot more than I ever did dressed as a guy.) And I'm always surprised and gratified when I'm addressed as a female -- no matter whether they guess I'm a dude.

Sounds like you have many more wonderful outings ahead!

Hugs,

Claire

[Krisi]

You didn't say if you were dressed appropriately for the time of day and shopping for groceries so it's hard to judge people's reactions. You also didn't say how well you might pass or not pass as a female. Some folks will not know how to react to you, some won't care and some might be a little angry seeing a man dressed as a woman in public.

It's great all went well and now you have the confidence to go out and interact with the public. Just keep your guard up, there have been stories posted here of attacks on crossdressers.

[paulaprimo]

see Kristyn... nothing to worry about!! you are much too pretty and "blendable" to worry!
those that stare are just checking out a pretty hot lady!

[Dana44]

It is always nervous on the first trips out. But hey, we live in this world also and they want our money. I am not sure if they care what you look like. One time a girlfriend gave me lip balm when I was driving for my dry lips. I said thank, this seems to work good. I stopped at a gas station and went in and paid. LOL, the attend looked at me, took my money and I walked out. I thought he had a strange look at me but never said a thing. Got to the hotel room and looked into the mirror. My lips were bright red. She had given me her lipstick. So, I had walked in with a short beard red lipstick. Yep look really out of place, but they just took my money and had no problems. I think when we go out, just own it like the GG's do.

[irene9999]

Good for you! I think having confidence really helps when going out and it sounds that you're now more confident and enjoying yourself when going out!

[Lizzy Straite]

Not much experience here, just told my wife a couple of weeks ago. She pretty much grabbed her purse and said we had to go get shoes! Got the cutest pair of Guess booties and wanted to drive home in them. However, we were low on gas and had to stop so I just left my heels on and pumped the gas. Nerves? Oh my yes I thought everyone at the station was looking at the dude in heels but several people walked by me and never noticed, but if they did they didn't say anything or look at me funny. Can't wait to go get coffee! You go girl

[kimdl93]

I'm pretty sure that nervousness heighten a person's sensitivity to interactions of any kind, especially perceived slights and particularly, real or not, when it confirms our expectations. But in most cases we simply underestimate our fellow humans. In the end, that interaction turned out better than you'd expected.

When I first entered the real world, I tended to go to gay bars and restaurants in the same neighborhood thinking these would be safe and accepting. Once I got a little more confidence and experience I began trying to integrate myself into the everyday world around me, walking the dogs, going to the bank and the grocery. Even getting oil changes and such en femme. Innumerable positive or just routine experiences Have reduced my anxiety level andI really seldom notice any reaction. Emphasis on notice...who knows what goes on when I walk away from an interaction.

[St. Eve]

Kristyn

Way to go. Getting freer and freer in the world must be a great experience.
Thanks for relating your experiences. Having dreamed of being in the real world en femme for years and recently coming out, I know similar experiences are in my future. Thus, I am grateful for your experience and everyone who has given you feed back.
Y'al inspire me!

Peace
Eve