Questions for those that go out in public dressed on a regular basis.

[sara.rafaela]

I travel for work and the first was a walk in the hotel parking lot, late at night. Then, a drive somewhere and a walk close to the car. Then I went to a transgender bar in San Francisco. Then gay clubs. The breakout day for me was when I went shopping in broad daylight. Now I am pretty comfortable and will go out most everywhere; although I still will not go out to a place like a sports bar. The first steps were quite scary, although nothing bad happened. I think I pass at a distance or in the dark, but up close you can tell what I am. I have had a few incidents while dressed, locked keys inside and had to deal with tow truck guy, pulled over by cop, guy hitting on me at bar, lady talking to me at MAC counter (I think she thought I was real). But, each incident really made me stronger and braver, and gave me the feeling afterwards that it is all ok. Good luck.

[binair10]

I remember my first time out. The Wife was away for a long weekend (she does not want anything to do with my dressing)so I decided that it was about time I took the plunge. So, on the saturday night I got ready, coat on and bag over my shoulder, and decided to have a cigarette first. Checking that I had got everything (an extra set of door keys on my person...just in case) and out into the darkness I went, locking the door and putting the keys in my bag. Once outside it was a wonderful feeling. So I walked around a bit and then came home and had a coffee and another cigarette. I am not a car owner so it is a bit more difficult for me. Anyway, it was a chance too good to miss so off I went again. This time I was out for over an hour. It is just the initial "plucking up the courage" that is holding many girls back.
Even at my age (72 y/o when I went first out ...and quite passable. Have seen a few people out at night and quite a few police cars have passed me on various occasions. I have been out to a party at a club with the Wife who was none too happy about it, but as I said to her if you want me to go with you then you will have to put up with it. A good night was had and I even used the ladies (it was really al a posh). Nothing was said in there and just mingleing with the girls and touching up my make-up as though it was something that I always did everyday.
So, dont be afraid to go take the plunge. The first time is always the hardest, but once outside you will wonder why you did not do it before. Get up and go girl you will not regret it.

Enjoy.

Julie.

[Angela Marie]

The first time I went out I did my makeup. Horrible job but I was just learning. I drove down to the gas station at the corner. It was a frigid winter night. I got out. Pumped some gas then ran back home. LOL. Then I began, as another person recommended, driving around at night. Later that year I went for my first makeover. It was awesome. I drove home and on the way stopped at a few places but quickly got home and changed. This routine basically lasted about one or two years. Then I got another makeover and drove home; again only stopping at a few places. I got home and was going to remove me makeup when I basically thought "this is silly I have to start going out". I left the house and went to a local supermarket. I was scared but as most people have noted, no one gave me a second look. From that point on it has been an evolution. I now go most anyplace I want; shopping, dining, etc. Still I must admit to a bit of nervousness sometimes. But it is less and less. You will find your way. Patience is the key.

[Krisi]

I think that unless you have an unusual living situation like having blacked out windows on your car and keeping it in a garage, your biggest difficulty will be getting out of your home and back in without being seen. You could rent a motel room and change there but that gets expensive after a while and if you use a credit card, that will leave a trail that the married folks won't want to leave. This all assumes of course that you don't want to out yourself to the neighborhood and be known as the "neighborhood tranny".

I take care of that problem by underdressing and then finishing in the car, away from home in a shopping center parking lot.

I think folks who skulk around late at night dressed in high heels and overdone makeup are calling attention to themselves and risk being stopped by the police. The best thing to do is walk around in broad daylight dressed appropriately for the time and place. The mall, the park, the business or tourist section of town.

To get past the nervousness, make a plan and stick to it. Tell yourself you're going to get out of the car and walk through the mall and then just do it.

[Cheryl T]

I began by doing a few night time drives around the area. Then I progressed to attending local support group meetings. It was there that I met others who had no difficulty going out and they encouraged me to go as well. After that it was Open door, Go Out !! Just as I would any other time.
Now it's simply doing what I always did. I need something or want to look for something or I'm hungry or whatever...I just go.

[AbigailJordan]

You do whatever you feel comfortable with Jessica.. I started with the late night drives out where nobody would see me..

As time went on I got brave enough to go to drive thru's and order and even into a garage once for fuel and cigarettes.

Then one day, after I'd confided in a few close friends, and found out in return that quite a few people around town knew, my give a crap button just flipped.. the following day I was round at my friends house en femme at around 12:30pm, stayed the day, even went into town and just owned it.

Your first times will be what you are brave enough to face.. and those first steps out the door even at 2am will have your heart racing like crazy.. enjoy it and remember.. you're doing nothing wrong, just being yourself..

Best of luck hunny.. hope it goes well

Lots of Luv
Abi XxX

[Judith96a]

Jess,
Let's see...
Everyone's different so all I can tell you is how I started. Your mileage may, as the cliché says, 'vary'!
I have a 100 mile 'no fly zone' centred on home (seriously in the closet so far as family etc are concerned) so all of my adventures have been while away from home. I started by going out to a well known Trans-friendly haunt in London. My hotel was within walking distance. I got myself shaved and showered, applied my makeup, slipped into the most wonderful dress and high heels, donned my wig grabbed my handbag and made for the door. I put my hand on the door handle and... FROZE. I swear that it took my a good half hour going back and forth to the door before I finally actually opened it! Stepping through it was scary. Hearing it close behind me - I nearly panicked. But I kept going. How does anyone get up the nerve to actually do it? Eventually, your desire to 'do it' becomes greater than your fear of the unknown. And once you're 'out there' you slowly realise that most folks either don't notice or don't care. My first forays were after dark (winter evenings) - people are less able to get a good critical look at you - and to somewhere 'safe'. Now, I'm quite happy to go shopping on Oxford Street in the daytime, travel on the tube etc. And I'm usually a very cautious person.

I'd suggest a visit to somewhere that's known to be T-friendly as a first outing. If you can find a friend to go with, even better. If there's a dressing service handy that offers escorted trips that's an excellent option (if you're ever in London or LA then check out Jodie at the Boudoir - she'll have you looking like a million dollars and look after you too). Above all, have fun and be safe.

[Gladys]

I have just started dressing and going out. I agree, early morning during the week is best when not too many people are out. A trip to Dress Barn would be an excellent start as I am sure you would get affirmative comments. If no Dress Barn around, I think most plus size stores would fit the bill.

[Tracii G]

I started by taking a stroll in my neighborhood after dinner and there were lots of people around and no problems at all.
I will agree going out in the daytime is best but be sure to go where there are plenty of people for your own safety.
Going out to a park at night and walking around in a mini skirt and 6 in heels is asking for trouble in most cases because people will think you are a prostitute.
The bad element are out at night so keep that in mind.
A lot has to do with how you are dressed too. Dress like the people you see wherever you go so you blend in.
Malls are great for your first time.Having a friend with you is safer and more fun.

[JessicaC]

Looks like this Saturday May be my first chance to get out of the house, going to go the safe route and just go for an evening drive without any stops. I already have my outfit and route picked out, this is seeming way too planned out to be too exciting (which is probably a good thing for my first time out), will let you know how it goes.

[CynthiaD]

The first place I went out fully en femme was to Goodwill to give away some male clothing. Another of my first places was Office Depot to buy some pencils. Another was Pet Smart to buy treats for my dog.

You see a pattern here? Go wherever you normally go (unless you normally go to biker bars ) just do it en femme. I'm not a big fan of going out at night. During the day is much safer.

[Adriana Moretti]

my first time out was like 10 years ago to a local cd party put on by a cd support group, it seemed like a safe bet.....sure I was nervous...but ya gotta start somewhere right? that goes away.....now i could really care less where I go

[Barbara Black]

I started dressing regularly a few years ago, but only to the extent of underdressing. Since the wife discovered me, I've been slowly working my way outside, a skirt at night for a short trip, then during the day for a drive, working my way to driving out of the city, about forty miles while dressed, but always in a car. Until last night. I dressed, blouse, skirt, stockings and heels, and stood under a bright lights while filling my vehicle with fuel, right next to a busy intersection. A police car even cruised by, about ten feet from my car (and I recognized him as having worked with him while I was still on the fire department). So anyway, I keep taking small steps and going a little further each time. These may not be your steps, but you'll know which steps you want to take and how far to go each time until you are out and about like any other GG.

[BillieAnneJean]

Some background info first:
I was a late bloomer, started later than most, if not all. I didn’t dream about this all my life. I found out about CDing accidentally. I do this for fun. I am happily married and told my SO about it before I started. I keep no secrets from her. I had it easy compared to most.

I was looking for a place to get glamour photos taken of my wife. She is the most beautiful and amazing woman in the world to me. She is not only a feminine wonder but also a pilot, rides motorcycle, races boats, has run a successful business, and since working for a company, makes them 2.5Million$ per year. Smart, kind, faithful, beautiful, sexy, everything to me. But to her, she sees flaws where there aren’t any. So anyway I thought I she should get pictures to see how I see her.

I found a place. Holland Photo Studios. And Holland is just a short drive west of Grand Rapids. The photos were AMAZING! The poses, wardrobe, makeup, set, everything fabulous. And the women were regular women, not models, who looked FANTASTIC! So I thought a great find for her. They have videos of the photoshoots. I clicked on one…………………………………

…………………………………………†¦â€¦..

…………………………………………†¦â€¦..

OMG!!!!OMG!!!!

I couldn’t believe it!!!!! THEY WERE GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

??And it looked like FUN!!!!!!!!!??????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where did THAT come from???? I NEVER ever thought about crossdressing!????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I showed my wife and told her that it looked like fun. The usual feminine look of “nutty man�. And it ended right there. WHY?

BECAUSE Holland Photo Studios was in Holland, Rotterdam, THE NETHERLANDS! NOT Holland, Michigan. It would have cost me $6000.00!!!!! That is NOT being financially responsible. I found that they called it a “transformation�. I had not heard of this before so I Googled it and found that there are services like this, to one extent or another, scattered all over the civilized world. And then gave up on the idea as too costly. The nearest was quite a ways away, at least one that looked equally professional, TG Miss in Racine, Wisconsin. (I eventually ended up going there and had the time of my life! But that’s another story.)

I travel for work. There was a transformation service in one of the towns I regularly travel to. About a month later I was in that town for work, the job finished early, my flight wasn’t out for two days, the rental car, hotel, meals, and flight were paid for. And I would be getting paid while having the transformation. I had not preplanned this. I called them and asked if I could stop in and check them out for a future trip. An hour later they called and said that the scheduled transformation had cancelled. OMG! I was NOT NOT NOT that far yet. But what the heck, it was never going to be cheaper. So I went for it. That day. Right then.

She was busy arranging an event for the next evening, we got started late, she was able to do one of three makeup styles and one of three outfits. So she suggested we resume the next morning. And we did so. Then she let me spend the day trying on clothes! She had a room the size of a two car garage full of clothes and I got to try on as many as I wanted!!!!

Mid afternoon she asked me what I was doing that evening, I had no plans. So she suggested I join them for the event, an OUTing.

WHAT?!!!??? OMG!!! I was NOT anywhere near that page yet. But what the h311? Paid for so it would never be cheaper. So she got me ready, loaded me in the minivan, and off we went!!!! We went OUT right down main street. I was in the whole kit. Right through all the people, in to a club, and dancing. As part of an entourage of six. For me a comforting perimeter.

Recap:
Less than 24 hours after my first ever dressing, I was OUT enfemme in the general public.

This set the pattern for my CDing thereafter. I always go OUT, don’t know anything but dolling myself up and going OUT, like out walking around, the mall, restaurants, EVERYTHING. And it just seems right.

I have always gone OUT.

Our Group routinely takes new gals for their first time OUT enfemme. Find someone or a Group to help you. In the right city and with the right people going to the right places, you will at first feel EXPOSED, VULNERABLE, SCARED, and then in an hour or so you will just feel like it is the most natural thing. And exposed, vulnerable, nervous, happy.

I go OUT enfemme regularly. I was OUT today. Probably ten stores, two restaurants, and a club. I take three or four outfits and change every few hours during the day. I tried on a few blazers right next to the racks in a few of the stores. Tried on dresses, skirts, suits in the dressing rooms. I found some GREAT buys!

This is SUCH FUN!
Billie

[sherri]

To each her own, but at the time of my first outings I didn't just wanted to be out driving or whatever, I wanted to interact with people. So knowing absolutely nothing about what I was doing (long before this forum etc) what made sense to me was to seek out the most tolerant environment I could think of, which was, of course, an lgbt club. And I still think that's a newbie's safest and least nerve-wracking bet. It's still a big plunge for a first-timer, but hanging out in a relatively non-judgmental environment a few times sure helps you get your sea legs, so to speak. Whether you decide to venture out into the straight world later on is up to you, but as you gain experience and discover that most (although not all) your fears were unfounded, don't be surprised if you get the urge ... and the courage.

Just be smarter about it than I was. First, have a decent look put together before you plunge. It will make a better first impression and help you feel way more confident. Second, R-E-L-A-X, smile and don't take yourself or the outing too seriously. You're there to meet people, have fun and get a fuller sense of the fem you, so act like it. :-)

[SexyMarianne]

Sometimes I wish I could go all the time. But I am not comfortable doing it around certain people(extended family et al). But if it was way more accepting I would do it 24/7 and dress like a woman and remain male.

[Claire Cook]

My first time out was kinda bizarre ... I went for a bike ride. Rode to the nearest mall, didn't have the nerve to go in, and came home. Didn't go out for years after that ... occasional walks at night. Once drove to a TG meeting, but these were all isolated instances. What really got me started -- and I haven't looked back -- was when I was attending a conference at the U. of Georgia and was staying at their conference dorm. I just decided one morning to have breakfast dressed, and when a charming gentleman opened a door for me, and no one seemed to mind, that was it. Went out that night and bought my first nightie, and the rest, well, is history ... and what fun history!

I guess I have to echo what others and the Nike folks say -- plan it, then just do it!