So Unfair

[JaytoJillian]

Last night, I enjoyed a great evening with friends at a swank waterfront restaurant area-the weather was perfect--balmy and breezy. As we relaxed, I took note of what the ladies were wearing--soooooo many great looks from short skirts and dresses with heels, sandals and flats, to short-shorts and tops with plunging neck-lines. All of us guys (yes, I was in drab) were just one long parade of BORING t-shirts/polo shirts/button-ups paired with shorts/jeans/slacks. I was bummed when I thought about how socially unacceptable it is for men to dress in "women's" clothing, but the ladies can wear whatever. I know guys get over in soooooooooooooo many other ways--like the pay gap which is wayyyyy more serious of an issue than this, so no need to begin a debate about who has it better when it comes to men and women. I just wish everyone could be free to wear what they want, when they want. Can I get an "Amen?"

Cheers,



Jillian

[Katey888]

Can I get an "Amen?"

No.

Remind me again what prevents you wearing what you want? We have plenty members here who go out wearing what they choose whether full on femulation or just a bit of Moosey swishing (sorry MM.. )

You ARE free to wear what you want, when you want - you just have to be prepared for the exposure and any reactions that go with that... like others do.

Have a think about the folk who can't even get to a swanky waterfront restaurant in any mode before you start complaining about unfairness...

That's not even entertaining.

[JaytoJillian]

Oh geez Katey.

Really, you found this post to be heavy?

Heavy is being a victim of trans/homo phobic violence because of the way you're dressed.

So no, not everyone is "free" to wear what they want where they want or when they want.

And me going to a swank eatery has zilch to do with fairness, I came from a family that had next to nothing, but I learned quickly to work twice, sometimes three times as hard as my peers to get ahead. That said, I've earned any bit of "swankiness" to which I decide to treat myself or my friends.

[JenniferR771]

Amen. Acceptance by everyone and everywhere would be so cool!

[Tracii G]

I'm with you Jill.
Katey gets all worked up sometimes but let it slide.

[Ally 2112]

A lot of times i have felt the same way Jill

[Leslie Langford]

No. ...You ARE free to wear what you want, when you want - you just have to be prepared for the exposure and any reactions that go with that... like others do...

Fair enough in principle, Katey, but the point that you fail to acknowledge here is that this issue goes beyond simply asserting one's sartorial choices and then having the cojones to face any potential negative reactions that may be an outcome of this.

There can actually be severe consequences for some for flaunting convention - especially insofar as the LBGT community is concerned - that go far beyond mere ridicule. Perhaps the U.K. in general embodies a more tolerant society in that respect, but this is still not the norm in the U.S. where Jillian resides. LGBT "rights" are still a patchwork there as they are legislated on a state-by-state basis rather than on the federal level, with 31 of the 50 states offering virtually no specific protection for members of our community.

So, while Jillian may be free to openly wear her most exquisitely feminine outfit while still otherwise presenting as a male (if she so chooses) and even if she succeeds in staring down her detractors in the process, she may still face the prospect of getting her @ss (@rse ) fired from her job the next day (or evicted from her domicile if she is renting) if word of this gets back there and someone in a position of power takes exception to her lifestyle. And legally speaking, there would be nothing that she could do to prevent this from happening as things stand today in the "land of the free, home of the brave", depending on where where she lives.

Fellow Brit John Oliver, who hosts a satirical "news" show on the HBO network in the US, spoke convincingly to this egregious travesty of justice in a recent broadcast which was also posted to youtube:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5d667Bb_iYA

[mechamoose]

No.

Remind me again what prevents you wearing what you want? We have plenty members here who go out wearing what they choose whether full on femulation or just a bit of Moosey swishing (sorry MM.. )

You ARE free to wear what you want, when you want - you just have to be prepared for the exposure and any reactions that go with that... like others do.

Moosey swishing

I will give an Amen to Katey, AND J2J.

Male clothes are very much a uniform, which is sad. Even the stuff in nice colors is the same shape & cut as the boring stuff. But there is nothing forcing you to wear it. I started by filtering in a female item here and there, and it has spread to more over time.

<3

- MM

[Alice_2014_B]

I've been to events like that; so jealous of how the women dress.

[Tracii G]

A constant thing with me and I am jealous of women and what they can wear.
Guy clothes are so boring that why I don't wear them.
People probably think I'm weird for dressing the way I do but its their problem.

[JeanetteX]

Jillian.....just a big, very big Amen!!! Enough said

[denese]

Amen, Amen, and Amen. that's really how i feel too. like someone posted recently, i don't really want to go the whole route all the time. sometimes i just want to wear whatever feels good, comfortable or right.

[stacycoral]

amen would it not nice just to wear what you want to, and when you want to. hugs.

[Allisa]

Such is life, just curious but did your friends know of Jillian? If so you had a choice in your manor of dress. But as long as you enjoyed yourself why sweat the little stuff?

[JaytoJillian]

Such is life, just curious but did your friends know of Jillian?

Nope, they have no idea.

[AngelaYVR]

Actually, I'm with Katey. Who forced you to NOT wear a nice suit or sport coat? We get this argument all the time but there are members here who do wear what they want and they have lived to post about it.

[JaytoJillian]

Who forced you to NOT wear a nice suit or sport coat?

Well, the last time I checked, the "T" in LGBT is not a protected class here in the states. If presenting the way I'd like could be grounds for dismissal from my job, I would say that there is indeed a policy that "Forces" me to dress a certain way.

[AngelaYVR]

Well, in that case, complaining here will definitely change the law. Or you could wait for other people to expose themselves to do it, I suppose.

[Ineke Vashon]

It gets worse. Look at the recent prez wannabe's debate. All the men in the same same-oh black suits. Check out formal heads of state meeting in Europe, all the men in the same black suits. To paraphrase Henry Ford: "You can wear any suit you like as long as it is black." Women on the other hand can dress anyway they please, any color, bare arms, legs, a freedom we could only wish for.

Who decided that us men have to dress as ?

Ineke

[MelanieAnne]

Remind me again what prevents you wearing what you want?

I'll take "What Is Common Sense" for $100, Alex.

[Angela Marie]

Jillian:

I understand your comment and frustration. I love wearing leggings and just bought a nice light blouse. I would love to wear it out but circumstances as they are I cannot. While there is more variety in men's clothes these days it does not come close to what is available to women.

[Mollyanne]

Hi Jillian, I CAN FEEL YOUR FRUSTRATION AND ANGER. I too would LOVE to go out wearing whatever I liked but this would not be practical (for me anyhow) because of tunnel thinking people. Yes, women can wear whatever they choose and the male of the species must adhere to specific rules of gender identification (yeah I know, it sucks). Me personally, I prefer to be in a skirt or dress with a stylish pair of heels and feel the hair on the back of my neck with the feel of earrings in my lobes. Or to be more specific, be recognized as the woman that I was supposed to be.

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN

Molly

[deebra]

Jill, I agree with every word you said in your OP, and Amen to all of it. I too like so many others here are envious and appreciative of how attractive women dress and all that is accepted and available to them to wear. Haven't heard from you in quite a while, so glad you are back. Please post some of those beautiful feminine pictures of yourself. If the boys had seen you in fem they would have been slobbering all over themselves. And as nice as your look dressed wouldn't it be so nice to see you go to work every day dressed as your pic shows. You are something we all would like to be, so glad you're back.

[mikeyp]

Yeah, I've tried CDing at a mall before. Worst experience of my life so far /;. I got called out by some redneck guys and soon enough, I had to leave the mall because it spread like wildfire. My calves are huge, my feet are like a size 13 in heels and my face is pretty masculine, but I am 5 '6'! I too wish I could wear whatever I felt like without any backlash. Maybe in like 20 years this will all be over?

[Suzie Petersen]

Jillian: ... post about a CD (ME) having a Walter Mitty moment while watching a parade of great outfits.

Ha ha!! That brought a smile to my face girl :-) I love that movie and could absolutely connect the dots in that mental image.

I'm with you on the wishful thinking too. I have had my fair share of envy of the womens outfits over the years, both business and casual situations. And no, most of us cant just do it if we want to for all sorts of reasons.

- Suzie