Just Fade Away

[STACY B]

With all the Talk about TS this and Transition that, And labels and who this is really and I do it right and you do it wrong and tough Love and all the other stuff we talk about here I thought I would tell how I plan on doing all of this.

One of my least favorite things is the Old Coming OUT THING, Why ? Why would you ? Still Look like a Man mind you,, Not saying this to EVERYONE just some that have said this and or done this in the past, I got to come out to such and such,, Or tell so and so,, If your in a realationship with another person YES tell,,, If you live with your parents tell,, But as far as cousin or siblings you NEVER see or friends you hardly see or distant realitives or anyone your not in close contact on a regular basis with, Why tell, Doctors, Medical staff pertaining to trans issues, Yea, But everyone ?

I see it this way like on another thread they said the biggest thing is Work,, Jobs, Money,, So that being said maybe just maybe you should take all that into account BEFORE you pull the trigger or pin? I am self employed, I worked for the Man all my life an NEVER even once could I have EVER considered doing this crap at a Real Job. No way, I got my self out of that First way way before ever even thought about transition, Cuz I knew for a fact that wouldn't have flown at all.

Now that I am on my own and after long talks with my wife and a few family that is close or just knows from the changes in general I only spread it if confronted on medical thing or if I feel the need and your worthy. As far as the whole world knowing? Hell they can figure it out when I do or just Fade away. An don't get me wrong I never run around in Mini skirts and heels face full of makeup and jewelry . I am somewhere on the spectrum and will just continue to fade away slowly and let it all fix itself in the meantime. The ones that already know will spread it for you anyway from time to time so for the most part your out anyway. No one can keep a secrete so don't be fooled even if you think they won't they will sooner or later.

I never was one for following others anyway, So it really don't care one what end of the spectrum I land in anyones eyes or if I am doing it right as far as what anyone thinks of me,, Hell I don't know any of you but maybe one or two personaly anyway. But like I say I am going to do it in front of the town I grew up in and work in and run a bizzness in right where my family can see it and friends can see it and anyone else who see's me or is in constant contact with me on a regular basis will be able to see me Fade away over time,, How much hell who knows ,, That is yet to be seen,, But I''l let you know,,lol,,,

[Jorja]

To fade away over time is the goal. It is all the awkward stuff in between that gets to you. Don't worry though, it will happen if that is what you want. You will probably need to tell those close to you and of course your place of work and of course your doctors. Other than that, it is no ones business except your own. You control who gets told and who doesn't. You also control just how far you go. Most important is that you keep your head up and do not be ashamed of anything. Be the person you need to be.

[kimdl93]

Hi Stacy, I'm had to digest this idea a bit before commenting. On balance, it makes sense, particularly if you're at a long physical and emotional distance from family and the hometown crowd. Perhaps that's why we have seen a fair number of late transitioners, post retirement in particular. I'm sure it's easier to follow this path if you can slowly fade out of the lives of those peripheral to your life. It probably can't work for me because I have a large, very connected extended family. Short of departing this mortal coil, I can't and frankly don't want to fade out of their lives. Which leaves me with two choices...

[Badtranny]

It all gets down to authenticity doesn't it. I have met Stacy and she is not a cagey person with obvious secrets. She is one of the most 'real' down to earth people I have ever met. What that means is that she has no BS air about her. You really feel like what you see is what you get.

The funny thing is, her idea of coming out would be absolutely terrifying to me considering her lifestyle and where she lives. Is she a middle pather? All I know about her is that she is the real deal and if she says it you can believe it.

So what if she doesn't go 'all the way' according to the traditional narrative? Is she not allowed to offer her experience in the TS forum? Consider this, Stacy has never misrepresented herself. Never tried to redefine any words. Never said she was almost full time or full time except work. She has however reported on what she was doing and feeling with complete honesty.

Now me and some of the girls have taken a bit of heat lately because of our position on authenticity, and I just want to use Stacy as an example of what we're talking about. We're not talking about who is more trans, we're talking about who is the most honest. Whatever your story or your transition goals, just be honest about it. No pretense. Wherever you are in your journey, accept it and stake it out. There are people behind you who may need some guidance.

[kimdl93]

I don't know Stacy in RL, but we've PM'd quite often over the years and I certainly have no doubt of her authenticity nor her courage. In my view, her path is as good as any.

[STACY B]

Thanks Friends,, Don't tell Lies and you never have to remember anything, The Truth is the truth and there is no way around it or through it. I am not going to make excuses or talk about Full or even part time,, I am me and I am me all the time,, Me may change for the Better I hope, We are a long way away from finding out how much? But I am changing a little at a time as far as appearance goes. But no matter what happens I don't think I will ever lose my Big Mouth and Stubborn attitude.

But I just want to fit in where I live and the best way to do it in my book is to do it right in front of god and everybody. So if you ask,, I will tell you the same thing I tell everyone else if I think you can't handle it,, Don't ask Question about stuff you don't want to hear the answer too! An I leave it at that. Stevie Wonder could see I look NOTHING like I did before,, So just use you imagination and figure it out for yourself,,lol,, That's what I tell um,,,,

So the Big Talk about how much this one is out and how much that one is out or Full or doing it for real or faking it,, Who are you trying to convince? Hell like I said I don't personally know many of you,, An Melisa is one of the ones I have met and she is Sweet and nice and real for sure. But a lot of people on here don't realize that not all of us have the Body disorder along with the Gender disorder, So some get the Hormones and it relieves the gender part and we can function better. If you have the Body disorder you need change big time in that dept. Lucky I only have the Gender part, So surgery is Not going to happen, An the fact that I am Married and don't care about the Bottom part anyway. As long as it works in some way shape or form I am good. But I wish all well and hope you get what your after in the future. Hell I may not even change my name,, Maybe just my marker,,lol,,,

[kimdl93]

Stacy is a nice name��

[PretzelGirl]

Stacy, it is all about living your life in a manner that solves anything wrong within your feelings and identity. You own your story and no one else. We are all different.

And you better never lose your big mouth.