Being recognized or caught

[Robinadress]

I am usually constantly looking for people I know when I dress. I don’t care to dress at home alone, and I always go out when dressing. Most crossdressers will not be recognized if they are walking by someone they know. I am more vulnerable because I go out as a man in a dress or skirt without a wig or makeup. I will easily be recognized. I have discovered people I know when out and managed to avoid them (at least I think I did). This week I went to a big city very long away from where I live, and I spent the whole day out in a dress and heels without caring if someone sees me because the chances was so small I would meet someone I knew. It felt great going around more relaxed. I have attached a picture from this trip when I was out shopping. When out in an area closer to where I live I always try to look relaxed even though I look around all the time. I know that probably someone will see me one day that will spread the word, but it is a risk I have to take, and it is worth it. I don’t try to be caught.

Two times I’m shore I have been recognized by someone who knows me. One time I heard someone shout out my name behind me. I thought oh shit, now it happens. This was a woman I know very well, and she has met me in dresses several times and is very positive and encourages me to come to them dressed. So it was pure luck it was her.

The other time was this Christmas when I walked right past an ex-coworker wearing a skirt and heels. I panicked and just kept on walking hoping she didn’t recognize me. I’m shore she did see me. The problem was that she works at the same place as my SO and many other former colleagues of me that I still meet regularly. My SO and I was at that time in a DADT, and I didn’t tell her about what happened. Luckily my SO and I are now talking about my crossdressing and she has accepted the risk that I can be seen by someone who knows us. I was nervous for several weeks, but I have never heard anything about my ex-colleague meeting me. I don’t know if she has told anyone. I don’t know her well enough to call her either. Now I really don’t care. If the word had gone around I know someone would have told me because some of the people still working there knows I dress.

I realize It is probably just a matter of time before I am caught big time, but I will keep on trying to avoid it because that is the way my SO and family want it to be. Personally I don’t know if I’m ready to be totally open yet either, but if it happens I just have to deal with it.

Probably someone has seen me already some other time, but they haven’t said anything to me or approached me when out.

My question to you all is; Have you ever met someone you know when going out, and did they recognize you and how did it go?

[cdterri]

Robin, you dress pretty much the same as I. Too bad you are not in my location as I know we could dress and have a great time shocking the muggles

[Marcelle]

Robin,

Firstly, my hat is off to you . . . that takes a lot of nerve to be who you just need to be without the benefit of make-up and wig to disguise yourself.

I am a full on dresser which means make-up and wig so most people I know would not recognize me if they walked into me. They would know I am TG but that is all.

Cheers

Isha

[Tracii G]

I don't think I have been recognized by any people I know other than my neighbors that already know.

[Laurana]

For me it's not so easy. I could be dressed to the nines and still be recognized because I have mobility issues and have to use a pair of walk easy crutches. So if I'm gonna go somewhere I know I may see someone I know I'll dress down a bit. Shorts and a t-shirt mainly with bra and panties underneath. Maybe some muted colors for makeup.

[Christie ann]

A little off topic, and it might be just me, but I think you look good in that dress.

[Robin414]

I personally have no problem being caught, clocked, read, outed, etc, etc by anyone I don't know...maybe the residual 'guy' in me lookin for a fight!? Being 'caught' by someone I know though, aye, there's the rub to quote Shakespeare! 😯

[DanaR]

My story is a little different. About twenty years ago, another Seattle girl and I were going out to a Christmas party and we met (dressed) at a nail salon. We put on the finishing touches to our makeup while there and had our nails done. While we were there, I met a Mary Kay representative and talked to her quite a bit. Anyway about ten years later, my wife went to work at a new job and guess what, she was working with this Mary Kay lady. I didn't say anything to my wife about her until she quit, then I told her. As far as the Mary Kay lady went, we used to talk at company functions, but she never said anything to me, but was always nice to me. She probably didn't make the connection.

[Diane Smith]

I have been seen three times by people I know (excluding those I'm totally "out" to, like my nail technician and hair stylist). The first time, to my utter surprise, was over a hundred miles from home while I was window shopping in a mall. I ran into a couple from my home town that I knew only casually. We exchanged a few words and went on our respective ways, but I couldn't help thinking about what a small world it really is that we live in.

The second time, I was getting fitted for a pair of (feminine) glasses in a local optical shop, when an acquaintance from work (although in a different department across campus) called out a hearty greeting to me using my male name. To my own surprise, I reacted calmly, and we had a casual chat about work, her children, and our plans to collaborate on an upcoming project. I acknowledged that she probably wasn't used to seeing me dressed up, but she said it was OK and appeared to take it totally in stride. We continued occasionally working together for a couple of years after that until she took a job in another state. She never acted as if anything unusual had ever happened. What shocked me the most -- in a good way -- was that I didn't freak out at all and handled the situation with at least some grace and dignity. (I was also a little nonplussed that I was recognized so quickly even en femme.)

The third time, a couple of years ago, I walked into the salon with clicking heels for a nail appointment and had to pass right by the wife of one of my closest friends as she sat in the waiting area for her hair appointment. She was engaged in a conversation with the receptionist and, as far as I can tell, didn't really notice or recognize me. Nothing was ever said about it later, so I think I "got away" with that one.

I've had a lot more experience out and about since those first two encounters years ago, and am not really bothered by the prospect of bumping into someone I know anymore. I'm pushing toward full time outside of work anyway, and really don't mind if a few people start to find out. I think my femme look is a little less recognizable now, but that second meeting taught me never to be over-confident about it.

- Diane

[Krisi]

I have never met someone I know when going out and have never been knowingly recognized. Of course when I go out it's Krisi, not a man in a dress. Wig, boobs, hips and butt, the works. As Krisi, I am confident I won't be recognized away from home unless I'm with my wife or someone recognizes my vehicle. I am careful not to walk in or out of my house as Krisi.

As for the "big city" thing, you can never be sure. I have run into friends or other people I know a hundred miles or more from home. There's always a chance.

[kimdl93]

Before I started living more openly, I was apparently 'seen' in my backyard fully en femme by the neighbor lady living at the adjoining property. She later met met 'formally' and mentioned it. Other than that I haven't accidentally run into anyone, though I have met neighbors and business associates while out and about.

[jjjjohanne]

I was in a restaurant away from home and saw a girl that I thought was an acquaintance. I looked away quickly in the hope that she did not see me. I am unsure if she was who I thought she was. I eventually tried to convince myself that it wasn't her. I did not freak out as much as I expected. I have been around her a few times since then. I cannot deduce anything from her behavior. I have tried to figure out if she is acting awkward or not. The events were very short. She is a friend of my wife.

So, Robin, when you go out, do you try to look feminine (in very girly outfits) with your man head, or do you try to wear feminine styles, but maintain your masculinity? I am the latter, I think. I avoid flowers, and cute things.

[Katya@]

Robin - I tip my hat to you. I am at about the same point as you are. While I am not trying to out myself on purpose to the rest of the world, I fully aware that my actions will lead to this. Like when I walk my dad's dog after dark, just in a skirt, no wig, no nothing. If a car comes towards me - I may pause a turn my back for a second. But again, I know that neighbors will recognize me one day. I am more intrigued by thinking how long would it take for my kids to spread the news since I came out to both of them last week (they are 7 and almost 3). The 7 yr old keeps it quiet for now as I asked her, and 3yr old just doesn't think anything about it. However, when they spread the news, I will deal with the rest of the family and friends and won't be sad at kids at all. My wife is not saying to anyone either, but she said she will be OK no matter whom I chose to say, including her parents. Perhaps, I count on kids to break the news sooner than I will ever be ready myself

[CD Tammy]

As you do, I like to dress but not do the make up or wig. I was dressed in tights, high heeled pumps, a skirt, and blouse. I went for a walk along a river walk pass after dark. I'd never encountered anyone on this path before at night. As I was headed back to my car, I realized that there was a friend of mine sitting in her car in the parking lot. Luckily, I saw her before she saw me. Since she was between my car and me, I stayed in the shadows for a long time until she drove off. A few days later, she asked if I'd left my car at the river walk park the other day.

[Krisi]

Hiding in the shadows near a public parking lot wearing a dress might arouse suspicion. Someone could call the police or they might happen to see you. You would have some explaining to do.

It's important to think about what you are doing before you do it.

[Angela Marie]

I don't know how I would react if I were caught. I'm only out to my wife so she at least knows. I do take precautions and am always aware of my surroundings; which by the way is good no matter how you are dressed. My view is that I am very careful and do not take necessary chances. However If I am caught there is not much I can do. If someone does not want to be my friend based on how I dress then i'm not losing much.

[Stephanie47]

Before I started living more openly, I was apparently 'seen' in my backyard fully en femme by the neighbor lady living at the adjoining property. She later met met 'formally' and mentioned it. Other than that I haven't accidentally run into anyone, though I have met neighbors and business associates while out and about.

That was my experience also. A nosy neighbor in the rental house next door spotted me in my backyard. I did not know it at the time, but, overheard her talking with other housemates. They would line up and try to get a glimpse of me until I realized their nosy behavior and quit using the backyard until they moved. Since they were nosy and gossipers I assumed they told other neighbors. If they did, nothing has ever been said. My wife never found out either. When I do go out in public I go to neighborhoods where chance encounters should not happen. But, anything is possible.