Hello All,
I was looking through old PM's recently and realized it had been a year and more since some here had asked for updates on my progress, hence the title. Other threads here recently have also generated some observations I think it best to express in my own thread, as I only speak for myself. So, first the physical stuff as it impacts and informs the rest.
I am into my third year on hormones (Depo Estradiol for those who care), and I am happier than ever, although every system in my body now runs differently. I'll use digestion as an example; many foods that I had a take it or leave it attitude towards have become absolute cravings. Some foods I loved are now nearly indigestible and I have also noticed major changes in the effects of alcohol. It has been an adventure in itself just figuring out again, what I can eat to not generate insomnia or heartburn.
I have had sufficient breast development to warrant a baseline mammogram and feeling uncomfortable in some venues going braless. While I have experienced some slacking off, the sensations and tenderness tell me there's still a little bit more to come, which is awesome, because then I'll have two little bits! I have to be thankful for my genetics here, as mom had pretty big boobs and the growth I have experienced allowed me to move augmentation down the priority list a few steps.
I happily also have no definitively male facial features (meaning simply that I'm okay with who I see in the mirror), so I can complete some other aspects of transition that are more important to me such as my upcoming meeting with the surgical team in Oakland. My healthcare provider follows the WPATH standards, so as many of you will recognize, I'm nearing the point where I will consider my transition 'complete' and will then be addressing body issues that any person might contend with.
My divorce was finalized last year (although we were separated for years), and I came out to my ex as TS shortly thereafter. We have become decent girlfriends and she has told me how she was so relieved when I came out, as she had convinced herself there was another woman. Um, well.... I said. She laughed and conceded.
I bought a house and moved in the first of the year. My neighbors know me only as Thea and although I am transitioning in the area I graduated high school and operate my business (hat tip to Stacy), I have generally been accepted. On occasion, I will notice a change in demeanor of someone I've interacted with in the past which leads me to conclude they've done some research or something has changed their perception, but the key for me has been remembering it's their perception. I have many things I have accomplished in life that define me far more than my experience of being trans, so while I don't shy from the topic, it's not what I lead with either. One of the biggest recommendations I can forward is to take all the space and rights you are entitled to as a human. When I go into situations in which I might have doubts, I make it a point to adopt a humourous, but imperious maternal air and go for it. Not many folks want to try and face down a pissed off grandmother! J/K, but DO give yourself credit for what you've already achieved and who you are.
I've joined a lesbian social group and been well received; it's so nice to have a cadre of ladies to do things with and the pot lucks give me an outlet for my cooking. I am a very good cook, but I really hate to cook for one.
Which brings me to some of the observations, specifically from some other threads. I post here in the sincere hope my experience and the expression of it can help someone else. Not to relate how easy transition can be, or how difficult, or to be compared to others and their experience. I had intended to post this the other night, but I read a particularly angry thread (or so it seemed to me), and was completely dissuaded. I was glad I waited, as today I have read some explanation of positions and comments that clarified for me whether there is value in my story being presented here. I feel there is and appreciate the pursuit of honesty (Thanks, Melissa).
And Jorja, for me, I agree with regards to fading away being the goal. I will never forget my experience of presenting male, but as I move forward in my life and transition, I find the reality of that experience begins to feel more hazy and undefined. Almost as if I can't really remember the day to day details of how to do male. Another interesting sensation!
As ever, if there are questions, comments or friendly banter, respond inline or PM me!
All the best,
Thea
