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Thread: does CD'ing make you a nicer person?

  1. #1
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    does CD'ing make you a nicer person?

    OK, I'd have posted in the Sigmund Freud forum but since that one doesn't exist I figure this works☺ I find I'm much calmer and much more accepting in general, am I full on TG or do others feel the same? I think a similar topic has been posted already but might be time for a bump 😆
    Last edited by Robin414; 08-31-2015 at 10:51 PM.

  2. #2
    Senior Member 2B Natasha's Avatar
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    In short. No. I'm the same either way. If your a tool. I'll think your a tool in either gender. I don't personally think it has anything to do with clothing. It's who you are. I bet you can be just as nice in drab as en femme if you have yourself the permission to be that way. Let your guard down and sit that macho pride off to the side and say F it all. This is who I am.

    Cheers.
    You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same

  3. #3
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    I'm already the nicest person I know, so there's not much room to improve by dressing up.

    Seriously, I have been told many times that I radiate an aura of calmness and contentment in my feminine persona that is missing from my higher-energy male side. I don't think I'm nicer or kinder to other people, but I do take more time to listen to their stories and be empathetic.

    - Diane

  4. #4
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    Yes, it does and it has. I've spent most of my life vigorously denying any CD-ing (in spite of evidence to the contrary). That took a lot of effort. I let go when I joined this forum, accepted my softer side and I've allowed my female side to slowly blossom. That side is not a separate entity, but more a complete me. My interaction with women friends has improved. Yes, I am a nicer person for it.

    Thanks for the 'bump'.

    Ineke

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    I think that a combination of factors has made me "nicer". Chief among them is simply a reduction in stress as I can now present as I wish.
    Eryn
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  6. #6
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    I would have to say that beginning to understand myself (with the help of all you ladies, and the posts in this forum), and then accepting that the CD/TG side of myself "is", and that it "is part of who I am", has made me less stressed. This has resulted in my being kinder to myself, and more accepting of myself. Though I have gone out dressed several times now (in the past 20 months), and with several different people (though not locally), and I am not "out" by any means (though I have talked with my daughter about this), I think I do act more kind to people. I have felt my whole like that I was "hiding" my real self from everyone. And now that I accept me, I feel like I interact with people more like a fellow person, rather than a fugitive running, afraid of being caught. I just now thought of that word "fugitive", in reference to how I felt about my life, but having thought of it, I think that describes how I used to feel. Like I was "lurking in life", but not a real person, not an acceptable person, because it was not proper to be the person I really am.

    But as I had come to accept myself in the past couple years, and particularly in the past year, yes, I think I am a nicer person - not so much because I am CD/TG, but because I accept myself, that part of myself, as myself, in a way I never did my whole life. I am more at peace with myself, so I am more at peace with the people around me. And it feels nice, too.

  7. #7
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say it makes me nicer, but it helps me from becoming an irritable pr!ck due to the potantial frustration built up from say, not crossdressing.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  8. #8
    0 to trans in 60 seconds! Donnagirl's Avatar
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    What I do know is denial, suppression, fighting and stubbornness makes me a nasty person... Frocking up is the cure...
    Call me Donna, please

  9. #9
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    Hi Robin,

    My personality does not change irrespective of how I present. I agree with Donna in that when I reach of point of saturation and I begin to identify as a woman to not do so would make me moody and anxious until I can align my gender then at which point I go back to being me.

  10. #10
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    Not exactly. Repressing my gender identity had some adverse effects...or at least contributed to a negative view of life, a tendency to anger and tantrums, a feeling of deep inadequacy...or just being wrong. Coming to grips with being transgendered has over time diminished some of my worst character flaws...alas not altogether.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  11. #11
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I don't think just dressing up makes you nicer. It has to do with your overall outlook on things I would say.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  12. #12
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    I guess I've always had a sweet side. My wife called me "sweet one " even before I started dressing seriously. GG friends tell me that I seem to be a gentler and more at ease person when dressed. What I 'd like to do is combine that into a whole person.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member JeanetteX's Avatar
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    Robin, I wouldn't say I become a nicer person as I'm quite nice as a male too! But it does tend to change certain things within my personality that make me much softer when dressed. For instance I can listen to music that I would never ever listen to as a male. Does this make any sense?....hell I dont know but thats just who I am. A nice person who feels more relaxed, softer and ultra feminine when dressed
    Love and hugs Jeanette

  14. #14
    Senior Member Karen RHT's Avatar
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    There's no doubt I thoroughly enjoy wearing skirts and dresses and all that goes with them. Does that enjoyment alter my basic personality sufficiently to become a "nicer person?" I'm not sure that it does. I do know my "mood" typically does improve while I'm dressed. That's not to say I'm in a bad mood before I dress. I just tend to become more content wearing what I want to wear, when I want to wear it.


    Karen

  15. #15
    Reality Check
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    It might make you a nicer person if you're out in public and trying to pass as a woman. For example, you might not yell and give the finger to a driver who cut you off in traffic where you would have as a male.

    Other than that though, just strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig can't change the person you are inside.

  16. #16
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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    I'm a nicer person, when I have the opportunity for self actualization. This is true of everyone, trans or not.

    If you take someone who is a natural athlete and forbid them from any sort of physical, competitive activity, they will wither. Give that person, literally any excuse to physically compete, and they will blossom before your very eyes.

    Same with musicians. They gotta play. Take away all their instruments and tell them to be quiet, the next thing you know they're slapping desks and picking rubber bands.

    Some things just have to come out, and we are better people for it when they do. Cross-gender expression (if you're wired like that), is one of those things.
    Last edited by Amy Fakley; 09-01-2015 at 09:42 AM.
    "Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir

  17. #17
    If only you could see me sarahcsc's Avatar
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    I know I'm NOT nice when I don't dress?

    Does that count?

    Love,
    S
    "The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me" - Ayn Rand

  18. #18
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    I've thought about this before. The act of crossdressing doesn't make me a nicer person, but it does help me get in touch with the nice person within me. The problem may be that when I'm playing male and I'm reacting to the world in a way that I learned men should I restrict my naturally nice inner self to match the male image. When I switch to the female side that "authorizes" behaviors that are natural to me but which I was taught were inappropriate to being male. That just another reason why finding balance is important -- it lets me be me all the time regardless of the presentation.

    In summary, I don't think that crossdressing makes me nicer, I think that not crossdressing restricts my naturally nicer tendencies.

  19. #19
    New Member MirandaAlicia's Avatar
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    I don't think *I* am any different, on a behavioral or interest scale, but I do know that I have been a lot less stressed about this side of me since my wife has come to acceptance of it. Having been given her blessing to be that sort of me at times, knowing that it's not something I have to hide any more, has been worth the relief of maybe 50% of the stress I carried around on any given day (the remainder being devoted to kids and work). So if being somewhat less stress-cranky counts as being 'nicer' I suppose, but I don't think I'm fundamentally different.
    - Miranda <3

  20. #20
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    My late wife believed my 'feminine' characteristics were the things she found to be the most attractive in me. Without catering to those, which I do even when I'm not dressing, helps smooth over some of the more masculine behaviors that can be confrontational, critical or selfish. Her description, not mine. I've seen my therapist presenting both male and female and he sees me as "having a different calm energy" when I'm dressed feminine rather than as a guy. Other friends who know me in both seem to feel the same.

    I thought I was the same person all the time, but something is going on that I don't really understand.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    I think one poster was correct that dressing in and of itself is not going to change you. However if the dressing allowed my female side to become more active then I would say yes. More caring, open minded, and just an overall better disposition. Now that is my experience. As they say "your results may vary"

  22. #22
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    in life so far I've met people who stay the same regardless, and i find others who adapt. the adaptors seem to shift accent in locales, to behave according to dress, whereas the stayers remain as they are. Neither is right or wrong, it's just part of our spectrum.

    Having said that, being an adaptor myself, sure I'm nicer en-femme, probably because i do start to become grumpy if i'm too long away from my nice clothes!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  23. #23
    Amanda countrygirl's Avatar
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    I do not know about be nicier then I feel happier when I am Amanda vs. Being in male mode.
    Amanda

  24. #24
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    Yes, when I can't dress for a while I get cranky and less patient. When I am dressed I feel much more calm and relaxed, in fact my therapist has commented about this many times. She also says I establish eye contact more readily.
    Do remember that if you don't act nice when dressed you will be viewed as a Bitch! Now some may think that is the ultimate sign of Passing. LOL

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robin414 View Post
    OK, I'd have posted in the Sigmund Freud forum but since that one doesn't exist ...
    You sure you weren't in the Jean Paul Sartre forum? Ba dum bump

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