Is this a half way point to CDing in public?

[mikeyp]

So, I'm 21 and CDing has always been pretty much a fetish for me. I'm going to school and don't really see CDing in public as an option right now, but I do want to attend events sometime. Anyway, I always loved the feminine male style. Like really skinny, girl jeans(almost like capris), I have always loved my facial hair though. I prefer to maintain stubble. Think boy band member. I feel like it gives off a really non threatening look, and i'd be pretty satisfied. Problem is, right now I'm 25 lbs overweight and wear baggy, boring clothes.

I basically wanna look like a gay guy. I think gay guys have a great sense of style and a wide wardrobe. I've spent a lot of time in the past few weeks just trying to understand and love myself, and well, this is the conclusion I could come up with for now. Lose some weight, get a sense of style, become more sensitive, not so tense all of the time, and live my life.

[Marcelle]

Hi Mikey,

I don't think you would class this as the halfway point to CDing in public as the style you are aspiring to is more an androgynous style (clothing) but presenting more phenotypically male (beard stubble). If CDing in public is not your thing, don't sweat it . . . find a style that works for you (male, female or points in between) and own that style to the best of your ability. If you make some lifestyle choices to achieve that look (eating healthy, exercising) then that is a great knock on effect. If some day you feel you want to CD in public, you'll know and will just make that leap.

Cheers

Isha

[kimdl93]

Isha prettying well covered it.

[Candice June Lee]

Isha had covered it pretty good. I would suggest that you spend some time soul searching. As a person who should have when I was your age, it would be best to get this internal fight over with before you have other issues line myself and possibly others here have had by waiting. At least you are making decisions and moving in a direction.

[1jessica321]

I always shave my beard off before cd'ing. At 21 I was fighting the battle to understanding who I am and what i wanted. Its only now I've turned into my 30s I've realised exactly what I want and understanding it. I crossdressone full weekend a month and the rest of the time I live as a masculine male. I found it easyer liveing my life to both extremes rather then find a midway point. Only you know what makes you happy and give it time you will realise what makes you happy and how to express yourself 😊 xxx Jessica xxx

[Rhonda Jean]

You'll probably never again have the freedom of expression you have right now. Enjoy! Experiment! Don't feel boxed in by feeling you have to be one way or the other. Do what makes you "you". I'm not a fan of facial hair on those who are otherwise fem, but if that's your thing, whatever. It still takes plenty of courage, but it doesn't get easier. I'll bet you can look around campus and see someone else who is already doing what you wish you could. None of this has to be permanent. Most of us on this board are jealous of the freedom you have at your age, particularly with public acceptance being higher than ever. You're very lucky, you just don't know it yet.

[Krisi]

I don't see what you're talking about as a halfway point to CDing in public. If you want to look like a gay guy, that's your choice. You may find out that this look attracts gay guys though.

I think the "half way point to CDing in public" is when we first start underdressing or perhaps dress and sneak out for a drive in the car at night.

[mikeyp]

You'll probably never again have the freedom of expression you have right now. Enjoy! Experiment! Don't feel boxed in by feeling you have to be one way or the other. Do what makes you "you". I'm not a fan of facial hair on those who are otherwise fem, but if that's your thing, whatever. It still takes plenty of courage, but it doesn't get easier. I'll bet you can look around campus and see someone else who is already doing what you wish you could. None of this has to be permanent. Most of us on this board are jealous of the freedom you have at your age, particularly with public acceptance being higher than ever. You're very lucky, you just don't know it yet.

Eh, I don't know that my generation is actually all too accepting of CDing, most people I know would slander a person that did, hence my internal transphobia. I've seen a guy on campus who tries to pull of the female looks, but never a guy in a skirt. I've actually never seen a man in a skirt myself. Maybe the next generation will finally kick this clothing stuff out though? Yeah though, a lot of this is sexual for me, for now at least.

The clothing I would actually want to wear just looks really cringey. It's equivalent to overdressing for me. I also prefer to keep things lowkey. I guess my urge just isn't really there yet.

Also yeah, I have always loved my facial hair from the first day I found out I could grow out a beard. It just looks so good to me.

[Krisi]

Dressing like a female while wearing a beard will attract attention, possibly negative attention. I think what Rhonda Jean means is, as a young person in college, you can do some things that won't negatively affect your future. Not all things of course, you have to use common sense. You are still "growing up". A person in middle age usually has a family and career to think of and doesn't have the liberty or freedom to do "strange" things.

[jaerina96]

Welllllllll... With stubble and skinny jeans, if you add fake glasses and flannel you've got the hipster look made!! Personally I can't stand having any stubble, it's all itchy and just yuck. I sometimes wear my girl jeans and blouses out, if I'm too lazy to switch to boy clothes, I've never really gotten any grief about it.

[Adriana Moretti]

25 pounds comes off really quick....especially at 21 with the right eating habits and workouts. Sounds like you have a plan....good luck & enjoy life xoxo

[Roli F]

you could dress as one of the Sisters of the perpetual indulgence who have beards a pretty dress nuns headwear loads of pin badges all over the white top .
see the manchester pride videos on youtube for Sister Jaqui and et al in the parade or Sparkle on flikkr

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Mikeyp,
Living yourself as you, is awesome!
What other people think of your lifestyle can be hard
to take from some,'and others may have open arms.
Just do YOU!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[flatlander_48]

m:

You've hit on some good points that go beyond crossdressing.

Losing weight is almost always a good thing. The health and psychological benefits are extremely useful for one's life in general.

Having a sense of style is an underrated concept, I think. Your sense of style reflects who you are and I think, not just one facet of your life. For example, I believe that harmony and coordination are very good, but I also like the occasional splash of discordance; the thing that you didn't see coming. It reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously.

The notion persists that sensitivity in males is a sign of weakness. I think the reality is that sensitivity is a sign of strength because it allows you to have extra information about the world around us; information that can be used in positive ways.

Being tense all the time isn't good for anyone. The human mechanism can't function like that for extended periods.

And yes, live YOUR Life. It is why we are here!!

DeeAnn